The Dignity Index: Pat Boone, Patti Blagojevich

Vanilla crooner turned vapid pundit Pat Boone says there's "a real, unbroken line" between the Mumbai terrorists and pro-gay marriage Prop 8 protesters. Score: 48

Facing a must-act moment on the auto-industry relief bill, with hundreds of thousands of jobs hanging in the balance, the U.S. Senate does what it does best: punts. Score: 65

Who would've ever thought Eliot Spitzer would turn out to be the second sleaziest governor of 2008? Well, Gov. Blago's bleeping wife, Patti, might've had a good hunch. Bleep you, too, dear! Score: 72