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Tucker Carlson was the last straw. When the conservative pundit was photographed wearing a Snuggie, that was the moment I decided this cultural scourge masquerading as a cheap fleece blanket with sleeves— a sewing accident, basically—must be stopped. Right now.
I have to confess my own role in this madness: last month I wrote a story about the Snuggie for NEWSWEEK, which means I'm just as culpable as my colleagues at Time, The Washington Post and The New York Times, which wrote about the Snuggie three times in one week. At first it was a valid business story. Look! A product that's thriving in a down economy! And such catchy infomercials! Then it became a punch line. On YouTube, users rechristened it "the what the f––k blanket." On his new late-night show, Jimmy Fallon conducted an entire interview with Tracy Morgan while both wore Snuggies. "I look like the black Obi-Wan Kenobi," Morgan joked. Everyone in the audience had on a Snuggie, too; Morgan even yelled at one poor guy who dared to take his off.
Now we're stuck in phase three: the backlash to the backlash—the point at which even jokes about the Snuggie's lameness are, themselves, lame. This is the juncture when clueless stiffs try to prove they're hip to the zeitgeist by slipping on a Snuggie. (Oh, Tucker, you cutup!) Please, America, I'm begging you, let's move on to step four, where we each ball up our $15 Snuggies and toss them into the fireplace. They're fleece. They'll go up like a Roman candle.