Humor: O.J. Simpson Seeks His Old Jury

Facing 10 felony counts after his ill-fated attempt to acquire sports memorabilia, O.J. Simpson announced today that he would attempt to reassemble the jury that found him not guilty in his 1995 murder trial. Speaking to reporters in Las Vegas, the former football star said he would "spare no offense" to find the 12 jurors who set him free 12 years ago.

"This current case is a very complicated one—maybe even trickier than my murder trial," Simpson told reporters. "It's important that we have a jury that really knows what they're doing."

The former Heisman Trophy winner acknowledged that it might be difficult to locate all 12 of the jurors who acquitted him in 1995 but indicated that "all the time and effort in the world" was worth it. "Look, I've spent the last 12 years looking for my wife's real killers," he said. "I can use some of that energy to look for those jurors."

Simpson added that in his new trial he would attempt to rekindle nostalgic feelings among the jurors by wearing the same suit he wore during the 1995 proceedings, adding, "If the suit does fit, they must acquit." When asked what he plans to do if it proves impossible to reconstitute his 1995 jury, he said, "I'll settle for Phil Spector's."

As for his current scrape with the law, Simpson told reporters that he had already learned a valuable lesson: "Next time I want sports memorabilia, I'm going on eBay."

Elsewhere, Britney Spears's talent manager resigned today, saying that there was no talent left to manage.

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