Happiness: Enough Already

James & cherry wrote "The Grief Relief Handbook". One part discusses a boy loosing a pet & feeling sad. The parents want to buy him another pet, to comfort him. The child, missing the pet shouldn't be talked out of his grief. They say basically, the healthiest and fastest way out of grief is to go through it and feel the sadness. This backs up the article. But what about adult ADD ? ...Chem lack of dopamine?

It clearly states in DSM that depression should not be diagnosed if it is due to greif. Get the facts straight. I do agree however, that it is too easy to diagnose someone with a disorder. It seems that there is a disorder for everything.

Wow, sadness=selfishness.... well, you're making a lot of sense there. If I'm sad and in turn that makes others sad... well, I think they may just be relying a little too heavily on me to be their little speck of sunshine. If you want to be sad, be sad. Maybe happy people annoying the living daylights out of me, I'm not going to say they're selfish because they don't want to come down to my emotional level. I can perpetuate my own feelings, I don't need the influence of others and I think you're underestimating people in general if you assume they need someone to help them out with their sense of happiness.

When you are sad after the death of someone close to you, the loss of a marriage or job, etc it's perfectly understandable. Hopefully you can find support to help you through, with either friends or professional help. However, if you have a an ongoing sadness, that never goes away then it is time to re-evaluate whether you have chronic depression stemming from a chemical imbalance or if you just need a major self-applied-kick in the rear, to turn your life around.

I think it is very selfish and self-involved to remain sad. Why? Because your mopey atittude makes people around you depressed, or worse for you, to avoid you for happier people. Sad people seem to think they have the right to be sad and bring others down because they somehow feel their lives are so much worse than others, or have experienced tragedy that no one else can relate to, which is hogwash. A LOT of happy people have experienced truly terrible things, but after a period of mourning have gotten back into the focus of real living again. If you go into a slump and refuse to take action to improve I have no sympathy. I think they should get over themselves and have some regards towards others who have to deal with their negativism every day, and consciously make a change to improve their attitude. Being sad after an emotional or physical trauma is understandable, STAYING sad is simply self-indulgent.

As a clinical Social Worker I deal with Depression, Grief and Sorrow all the time. It is VERY clear that there is a difference and I think it is a crime to suppress genuine grief. Please don't "pigeonhole" the Mental Health Profession.
Tony Renier, MS, LCSW

So...this article is saying money is more important than happiness?

As a clinical Social Worker I deal with Depression, Grief and Sorrow all the time. It is VERY clear that there is a difference and I think it is a crime to suppress genuine grief. Please don't "pigeonhole" the Mental Health Profession.
Tony Renier, MS, LCSW

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this article. I too wonder what happened with normal sadness and why we "aren't allowed" to be sad when say, your mom dies or your husband looses his job or you are stuck in a situation that can't be changed. I am so sick of having happiness shoved down my throat. People think you are negative, pessimistic, whatever... but if those ones never have a sad day in their life then they are not dealing with reality, they are insensitive and skin deep and are lying to themselves. You know what they say, "Ignorance is bliss."

what is happiness...comfort? freedom? mobility? responsibility? or lack of responsibility? like 'smart' , 'pretty' , great' , or 'nice' , it's subjective. Act too happy , all the time, and you are probably fake, phony, and downright irritating...every office has one, and we are suspicious of them...or jealous of them....there is a happy medium...there's that word.....

Happiness.....is it comfort? freedom? health? self-esteem? ...... as when we say 'great', 'nice',
'pretty' , or 'smart' .... too subjective... and if you get too happy...you are probably fake, phoney and downright irritating... every office has one...and the rest of the staff is suspicious of them...or jealous of them......... there is a happy medium... there's that word again!

Perhaps happiness is one that is not defined to any one meaning or point in time being an evolving creation played out like the artist's colors on a canvas. I do believe that it too is a thing of great sadness, coexisting with a high ecstatic effect of great joy and even that of great pain and sorrow...one existing without the other. It is a spontaneous awakening in my perception to the human mind and soul where one, be it happiness or sadness, does not dominate the other perhaps being one in the same both chiseling away at a masterpiece of one's true self to enlightenment or even simply each identity of self. Perhaps, as human beings we are so consumed to separate such colors, such emotions in two of great difference...masking sadness as a bad omen or ill-fated effect of human dissolution that drugs are the savior to this so called disease. Whereas, happiness is of the norm in a modern societal upbringing facilitating all the positive of associations of having a healthy life at every level. As a result, we send such damaging messages to our future generations in that respect never getting to the core of the issue and allowing emotions of sadness to naturally flow like that of nature's passage in time. This article is indeed an eye opener to the true science of human evolution in this respect. Like nature, perhaps we as humans should be like water, shapeless, without any form or contour, and "just be" and release what is in a way that is mastered in a positive reflection upon oneself from even that of great sadness through time. Elaine Vega ekolloge@hotmail.com

Happiness is more about self-matery then pleasure. We should embrace a happy self who is tolerant of sad moments, and a sad self who is joyful. We do not live in a black or white world. Why do so many us want nivarana without experiencing the breathe? It's in the in and out of life that our triumphs and defeats yeild the glory of life. For a simple guide to find happiness through self mastery go to www.happinessinfive.com

How sad, we are all confused about what happiness is. Happiness is more about being satisfied in life - a result of self mastery - then pleasure. Happiness should not exclude sad moments, nor sadness joy. Life is not a black or white experience. This is a very thought provoking article, for a simple guide to finding happiness and self-mastery simply go to www.happinessinfive.com

Positive Psychology still has a ways to go to catch up with the contemplatives. Buddhists, for instance, understand that even "heavenly" states are not forever. They also point out that an enlightened end of suffering does not necessarily mean the end of pain. It's all about our relationship to our experience -- all our experience -- and how appreciatively connected we are with life as it actually is..

There are though, some Positive Psychologists who are clued into the need to include "meaning" -- and not just "happiness" -- in their understanding of what really comprises human well-being.

(Ph.D. in clinical psychology; M.A. in Buddhist studies; long-time contemplative practitioner)

So let me get this straight - the backlash against the whole ???positive psychology??? movement,
which investigates and promotes ways to be happier, is happening right when
people have much less reason to be happy because of their deteriorating economic
situation? So suddenly sadness is a good and healthy thing? What a
coincidence! It seems like one of these Zeitgeist phenomena where one aspect of the culture is providing the "coping skills" for another ...

If we are done handwringing over too much happiness here, there are people dying in Africa. A West African perspective would be entertaining. Could someone from Sierra Leone comment on this article for us?

Sarcasm courtesy of major depressive disorder.

I hope this "movement" or whatever its takes off and starts swinging the pendulum
back toward center. Its getting crazy out there how you can't express any
worries, concerns, sadness without either being labeled negative or depressed.
If your not sunny and totally thrilled you better do something to fix it or your a loser.
Its practically to the point where your only allowed to communicate if your emulating a
cheerleader.
For example; your only allowed to grieve for loved one for a very short period of time, then it better
morph into 'but they're in heaven and a better place so its all good"