Happiness: Enough Already

Happiness is usually the result of effort aimed at helping others. That is what I have been taught. I was pleased to read your article about the value of sadness and the myth of seeking happiness. Not only is it relevant for adults, but so important for teachers and parents to understand in rearing and teaching children. My personal hypothesis is that most if not all of what we are experiencing and labeling as school failure, lack of motivation, and ADD/ADHD, are behaviors in young children that are appropriate emotional and psychological responses to the sadness and chaos in their lives, and to events occurring in their immediate environment. This may include neglect, aggression, injustice, or even overindulgence, any of which are confusing and problematic for young children. Children require a strong sense of belonging???you fit in here, it is OK to be sad, mad, excited, and a sense of value???we???ll work with you to support you. Instead, we require that they fit into our preconceived picture of what they ???should??? be, and constantly want them to change to fit our molds. We ignore the contexts of their lives.
As long as our society values happiness, compliance, and a problem free existence over a sincere desire and effort for children to become competent and responsible contributors to society, classrooms will be ineffective, our communities will struggle with delinquency and crime, and our society will spend more than it should on remedies and prisons.
Wouldn???t it be great if we could embrace all of the human emotions in ourselves and others, and support each other in feeling who we are and knowing that we are all in this together?


Laurie Prusso
CA

Because of its association with the grandparent who died or the lover who left or the puppy that never came home, we have been too quick to dismiss this thing we call ???Sadness.??? But to limit Sadness to the above would be like limiting the definition of America to baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and Chevrolet. Sadness is Nostalgia, Sadness is Reflection, Sadness is what Yeats called Tragic Joy. Sadness is what makes Joy so enjoyable, and Wonder so wonderful. It is for this reason that our Company, Buckbee, A Writer, Inc., recently opened The Sadness Museum--the world's first. In the collection are everyday items that serve as conduits for the sad experiences of our lives. We must choose to not cast away these objects for a reason. Perhaps their preservation gives testimony to rich lives.

Well based on the headlines I do believe that intermission as an important part of every analysis.Whether it has been part of transition it has never been the indecision in MMMyyyy Life BUUUTTTT and if are the only cause bcos being the youngest always hurts.Be it "what is called as lovely relationship" or the one which has the pressures that as physical as it can come across.Like lee ness always hurts some times I finally understood some thing sucks my toe it is not the leech nor am I in a lake it is just the mystic effect that I cannot fly. So I say Bigger is better and transition to a better life.

Essayist Theodore Dalrymple, NHS psychiatrist Anthony Daniels in his other life, worked for many years with prison inmates and people in low income neighborhoods. His patients frequently would request medication for depression and general unhappiness with their lives. After pointing out to them the many bad choices they had made along the way (dropping out of school, unwed parenthood, drug use, criminal pursuits, etc, etc), he would suggest that they were appropriately depressed and tell them that there were no pills to cure their ills. (On the other hand, if I am "totally satisfied with my life and with how things are going in the world", why SHOULD I feel an urgency to work for change?) There will be joy and tragedy in all our lives and we should be able to cope with experiencing the full range of human emotions without constantly reaching for one of mother's many little helpers (while at the same time remembering that many of us might benefit from an assist over the occasional short term). We're becoming a Ritalin/Prozac Nation and it's more than a little scary.

I just finished reading Happiness: Enough Already (Newsweek, February 11) and now look forward to reading professor Wilson???s book, ???Against Happiness.??? Thank you for freeing me to be comfortable in the melancholy mold to which I???ve long felt I was fashioned. Also, I felt justified (and it was fun noting) that I wasn???t the only one rolling my eyes at the media???s seeming obsession to expose the latest ???clinically depressed??? luminary, historical (Lincoln), literary (Dickinson), or otherwise. One thing I have often wondered is what factor heritage plays, as melancholy seems quite prevalent among the celts. I???m passionate about the music style of Van Morrison. Many of his compositions are rife with melancholic lyrics and melodies; in particular, ???Melancholia??? is brilliant!

Although your article only scratched the surface of a deep subject, I must say that I agree with the theme of the article: to be human is to have a psychological illness/disorder/maladay, etc. Two immediate thoughts came to mind when reading this. First, at my 25th high school reunion, I commented that one of our classmates was not present because his mother had passed away the previous day. I was shocked by the response: "Some people just need to accept things and get on with their lives and be happy." The second incident: While working as an intern at a community health agency in Western Pennsylvania, I often saw the inmates from the county jail walk by my office in their orange jumpsuits. They were seeing the psychiatrist to get their weekly doses of psychotropic medication because being in jail was unpleasant. Duh!?! If one feels sad because of negative circumstances, s/he is depressed. If one is not sad because of negative circumstances, s/he has flat affect and is sociopathic. Whatever happened to common sense in the mental health profession?

While I agree that Americans have become superficially chipper, you do a great disservice to people who suffer from Major Depression by jumping on the media bandwagon against psychiatry and the DSM-IV. To use your example, even if a college student's parents want her to get help with breakup pain (which is a responsible response on their part) the people who evaluate her and help her to decide for herself whether to get treatment are doctors and licensed clinicians, who generally have no investment at all in whether someone chooses to take medication or get therapy or ride it out. You rattle off the DSM criteria for depression as if having 5 of them for two weeks straight were a universal experience, but it isn't, and the people who seek help usually have been suffering for months or years, and 15% of them kill themselves.

You could redeem yourself in my view by writing a more in depth look at what is a clinical problem versus what is a cultural aversion to sadness. If you don't then you must join the half-baked minimizers like Tom Cruise who wouldn't know the first thing about how to help someone with a real mental illness. Tsk tsk!

While I agree that Americans have become superficially chipper, you do a great disservice to people who suffer from Major Depression by jumping on the media bandwagon against psychiatry and the DSM-IV. To use your example, even if a college student's parents want her to get help with breakup pain (which is a responsible response on their part) the people who evaluate her and help her to decide for herself whether to get treatment are doctors and licensed clinicians, who generally have no investment at all in whether someone chooses to take medication or get therapy or ride it out. You rattle off the DSM criteria for depression as if having 5 of them for two weeks straight were a universal experience, but it isn't, and the people who seek help usually have been suffering for months or years, and 15% of them kill themselves.

You could redeem yourself in my view by writing a more in depth look at what is a clinical problem versus what is a cultural aversion to sadness. If you don't then you must join the half-baked minimizers like Tom Cruise who wouldn't know the first thing about how to help someone with a real mental illness. Tsk tsk!

Loved the article. We have become emotional robots. Life goes by so fast we don,t have time to grieve. On 9/11 my clients i was with were mangers of security companies , and knew people in the trade building. they were in shock and i remained calm so the could pull themselves back to gether and go to work.
When will we be able to take the time to stop and heal from 9/11 and the war. we need it.

Loved the article. Life goes by so fast that people don,t have time to grieve.On 9/11 I was working for my clients that were excecutives for major securities companies that knew people that worked in the trade center They were in shock. I made sure to remain calm while they pulled them selves back together so they could go back to work. they had to show courage to others and not break down. We need time to morn and heal

Between being able to sustain happy and satisfied thoughts by strengthening, and even engrossing your left frontal lobe's cortex and the neuronal net ( happiness center) by exercise and /or contemplative practises ( check out the concept of neuroplasticity) and taking effexor, or prozac for "forced happiness" and "embracing sadness" in your right frontal...there is a whole world of different alternatives.

Sometime in the last hundred of years, humans achieved enough technological knowledge and wealth to believe that we can make the world and our lives exactly to our liking. And sometime more recently, we conviced ourselves that if we don't do that, we are worthless. So, gone are the days in which we would feel grateful for having a roof over our heads, food on the table and a family and friends to share those things with. Now, people want health, beauty, wealth, secutity and happiness, and they want it now. There's nothing wrong with any of those things, I want them as much as anybody else. But we shouldn't become slaves to unreasonable expectations. I mean, people weighing their food beafore eating it? Having to take your shoes off at the airport? Driving cars with 500 HP engines? Crying because your team missed the play offs? My main worry is that by loosing our capacity for contentment, we might be loosing our best and perhaps only real chance at happiness.

As an artist and a suffer of clinical depression, I really appreciate this article. However, it can be a double edged sword. I believe many over-romanticize of the "suffering" of famous artists like Van Gogh and others. There still exists a pervasive notion (especially among the young) that "true" or great art can only come from suffering. And that one must suffer in order to be a great artist. This is not so. One must only be human.

As an artist and someone who struggles with depression, I really appreciate this article. However, I've seen it in myself and other artists - I believe there still is, among artists, an over-romanticism of suffering and a belief that only the best and truest art comes from suffering. Because Van Gogh, etc., suffered then so must I. These are myths that must be destroyed. You don't have to suffer to create, you need only be human.

There is a book the recently came out called "The Depression Advantage" that is about spiritual growth and the role that depression can play in it. Check out www.depressionadvantage.com and don't forget to check out the advantage program. They have assembled an amazing team to help you achieve it.

There is a book the recently came out called "The Depression Advantage" that is about spiritual growth and the role that depression can play in it. Check out www.depressionadvantage.com and don't forget to check out the advantage program. They have assembled an amazing team to help you achieve it.