PSYCHOLOGY

The Real Laws of Attraction

A new study reveals a surprising gap between what men and women say they want in a partner and what they actually choose.

 
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  • Posted By: loveadvisor @ 03/01/2008 6:54:35 AM

    Comment: All theory is fine and I understand how looks will initially lead the way. Then reality sets in and personality comes into play. As the relationship evolves you need to become creative and spice things up to keep it interesting. Couples can find help by visiting thelovekiosk.com where they can find help and ideas to do this. Everyone goes through various stages in their lives...some will be shallow and evolve over time.

  • Posted By: phiomalibumalibu @ 02/20/2008 12:25:15 PM

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  • Posted By: sjbrock80 @ 02/19/2008 4:25:55 PM

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  • Posted By: shah mat @ 02/19/2008 10:15:54 AM

    Comment: I didn't say your husband was an animal. And if you are the sum total of all of two parts, then I would say that the men attracted to -you- are animals. And in that instance, for -you- and those 'men', the outlook on the world is definitely the same.

  • Posted By: phiomalibumalibu @ 02/18/2008 4:12:52 PM

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  • Posted By: phiomalibumalibu @ 02/17/2008 5:44:19 PM

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    • Posted By: shah mat @ 02/17/2008 6:42:52 PM

      Comment: You didn't say anything about any husband before. You said you found the best way to attract animals. Glad it helped. Maybe I need some help too, seeing as I am commenting an advertisement. And no, I don't mean breast enhancements.

  • Posted By: Fort Begay @ 02/16/2008 2:55:35 PM

    Comment: I'd like to know what were the qualifiers were for the participants. I'm sure subjectiveness entered into the dynamics of the selection process. Earlier someone complained about age factors, but what about race? I saw the Vaginia Monologues two nights ago, and when the part where the audience chants a derogatory term fo the female anatomy, I looked around the mainly white, college-aged audience of 70 percent females looked most involved and seemed to relish the experience. As a Navajo 40-year old woman, I just didn't see the fascination with the word, but then my culture and language don't use anatomy references to insult and denigrate women or males. Apparently the playwright of the Vagina Monologues felt this was an important issue that commanded address. Yet I would like to add comments for the researchers: college-aged young people are the ideal candidates for the study since they have access to the precious commodity of time and they are most experimental. I can just imagine how impossible it would have been to collect people my age into one study. Complain about the slantedness of the study, but it still represents an idea that most of us know to be very consistent. It's not nice to think that we're judged by our appearance, but it's the nature of the animal kingdom. Read Helen Fisher.

  • Posted By: phiomalibumalibu @ 02/15/2008 2:30:41 PM

    Comment: I found the best way to attract men, was by getting breast enhancements. see FinestImplants.com

    I know it sounds shallow, but it worked beyond belief. I went from shy girl in the cubicle to the girl every guy wants to talk to. I didn't think it would have this much of an affect.

    • Posted By: shah mat @ 02/17/2008 4:33:08 PM

      Comment: It is shallow. And you're attracting 'boys'. If that makes a difference to you.

  • Posted By: burbank @ 02/15/2008 3:49:11 AM

    Comment: So, attractive people seek out other attractive people to meet, find some sort of common ground on which to build a relationship and ultimately marry? I wonder; Did these researchers conduct their studies at closing time?

  • Posted By: Pasquale~Garonfolo @ 02/15/2008 3:30:24 AM

    Comment: We all seek for genetic and material improvements in our life; our search is colored, and even strongly determined, by the limits, tendencies and crazes of our own culture.

    When people meet someone they feel well together with, and can speak a lot together, they will want to meet again and enhance their relation even more.

    Sometimes people who get together, and get married to each other, really physically or by way of personality look like each other, so much that you could say that they were with each other even if your did not know them and just saw them walk downstreet at some distance from each other.

    Colleagues that feel comfortable with each other may decide and enhance their relation directing it into their own private sphere.

    Generally naturally the instinctive search for life's improvement colors the behavior in one's own search of a partner. In a culture where one's spouse is not directly chosen by oneself, it may be the parents, clan or tribe that decide who someone should be married to - all this for the same reason of improvement and of genetic and cultural preservation.

    All this may apply to situations where direct or indirect choice is ever possible. Else it is so that on an isolated island, with only one male and only one female, life will try and manifest itself thru her own blunt primal drives of reproduction.

  • Posted By: ccvh25 @ 02/14/2008 11:32:11 PM

    Comment: The problem with a lot of social science studies is that the population conists of college students who typically range in age of 18-25. This population does not represent society as a whole and what young adults find most important in a partner may be quite different from a middle aged or older adult. I find these types of studies disturbing in that they try to generalize people into neat categories. How is it relevant?

    • Posted By: shah mat @ 02/17/2008 4:44:55 PM

      Comment: It's relevant because that particular age bracket is generally seen as the next in line to be the new 'shakers and movers' of American society. Your 'George W. Bush' of tomorrow, as it were.

  • Posted By: ewa-rae @ 02/14/2008 8:08:32 PM

    Comment: Great post Maria345.

    I often hear young women discussing the results of last night's date with agony and despair. "He's a sweet guy, but he doesn't make as much money as my ex." Hello, wake up. No one can have a deep and fulfilling relationship with this type of thinking. The same with "Is she hot enough? Are her boobs big enough?" Your relationship will be going to hell in a handbasket if these are the only thoughts in your head. So do yourself and the rest of society a favor: EVOLVE from your caveman ways and add some substance in your soul.

    • Posted By: shah mat @ 02/17/2008 4:54:45 PM

      Comment: You're under the impression that the dominant concern with the majority of 'youth' is the future?? Umm.. I don't think.. that the 'youth'.. are the ones in need of 'evolution', as you would have. Values.. are generally either taught.. or learned. Few are the youth whom God blesses with 'wisdom'.

  • Posted By: newsjunkie8 @ 02/14/2008 5:32:51 PM

    Comment: Attractive women are marrying attractive husbands, and attractive people make more money because attractive people get more of everything in life.

    This comment bugs me.....I guess it's true, but I hate that it's true. Oh well, whoever said life is fair?

    • Posted By: shah mat @ 02/17/2008 5:01:08 PM

      Comment: Q. So, if you felt yourself attractive.. and you definitely felt that your partner was attractive.. and you received more of whatever people hold valuable in this life because of it.. you would 'hate' that, correct?

    • Posted By: Fort Begay @ 02/16/2008 2:32:02 PM

      Comment: "Life is fair" is just another lie like "inner beauty reigns."

      • Posted By: shah mat @ 02/17/2008 5:08:23 PM

        Comment: Actually, 'inner' beauty does reign. Supreme. Dungeon. Kings. Do you know what brings rats, mice, snakes/ up out the hole?/ Chonkyfire/ Laced, with rock n' roll/ Indubitably.

  • Posted By: Maria345 @ 02/14/2008 5:19:24 PM

    Comment: Keep reinforcing shallow stereotypes and myths with so-called studies and science, and we are pretty much stuck with people excusing their own shallowness. Maybe people should listen to their hearts, and go with what develops over time, something with substance, rather than always chasing and dumping, chasing and dumping, everything that looks good on the outside.

    • Posted By: shah mat @ 02/17/2008 5:19:15 PM

      Comment: Actually, those studies, as well as the science behind them, are NOT the cause of the problem you suggest. For example, You ever see those COPS episodes where criminals get caught doing something redhanded and still refuse to acknowledge the truth given by power of evidence? That refusal is called delusionment. People not only do a good job deluding themselves and other people, but other people do a good job of deluding other people as well.

  • Posted By: Maria345 @ 02/14/2008 5:15:08 PM

    Comment: Keep reinforcing myths and stereotypes with science and studies, and that's what we're stuck with. Dare to think for yourself and not be told how you should think by all this crappola.

  • Posted By: ThePrairiePrankster @ 02/14/2008 4:53:48 PM

    Comment: While it is all well and good to ONLY sample college students preferences, how does this extrapolate to 40-somethings who are divorced?

    Since the age bias explicitly stated by the authors of the study is clearly stated, I consider nothing more than bunk.

    • Posted By: shah mat @ 02/17/2008 5:39:35 PM

      Comment: It only extrapolates if you allow it to enhance and clarify your own definitions of the type of value and substance you seek in any and all relationships. Forcing you to see clearly you're non-interests should only serve to stimulate your sensitivity towards what you are most open to from the opposite end.

  • Posted By: phiomalibumalibu @ 02/14/2008 3:06:09 PM

    Comment: It's soooo true, we are soooo different. For example if you take a look at lovetidbits.com you will basically see what kind of thing women like from a man. But there are other subconscious things a woman needs. First and foremost don't be a wimp.. Women love men who are strong. And if you need a way for you and your spouse to relax, check out spadiscounts.net and get a relaxing massage together. yes!

  • Posted By: dr.harmony @ 02/14/2008 1:32:20 PM

    Comment: so, what we learn from this is??????? We probably have underlying value hierarchies that are other than the popular gender stereotypes that we think are true???

    • Posted By: shah mat @ 02/17/2008 5:26:40 PM

      Comment: Are you really a Dr.? And is harmony your christian last name or are you really a doctorate of that particular abstract? Cool. My only real question is, what are YOUR underlying values? And to be fair, i'll go ahead and answer one of your questions. WHAT WE LEARN FROM THIS, is that if you have children, to teach them better. Especially your boys, cause they're really screwing up the place...

 
 
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