The Real Laws of Attraction

The short of it is she might not put up with his table manners and paunch for the money he earns, because she earns money too. Anecdotally

1. I was told years later (Nov. 2007, well after a college lady friend married) that the sort of eating in a hurry in ye olde college cafeteria is about the quickest way to lose a girl like herself. I still thank the LORD I made it home safely at the end of that weekend, because that truth really hurt, although intended to improve my dating situation in 2007.
2. A petite woman who has never seen, let alone read The Joy of Sex (which describes a variety of accommodations) is understandably going to have apprehensions about the missionary position if he is very much heavier than she is, no matter how much she thinks she loves him (1997).
3. If James Dobson's assessment of women's focus on the inside vs. the outside was correct, I have a sneaking feeling I would have dated more frequently in that Christian singles group in Washington DC between 2002 and 2006, possibly even been married by now. The country song "Guys Do It All The Time" seems more applicable instead,

She might be bringing home plenty of bacon, in fact more than he is, and might not want to come home to a pig for a husband. Depends on the woman, but she is liberated from old ways if she doesn't care for them.

Perhaps the test should be repeated at various age groups. This seems to be aimed at undergraduates. The prefrontal cortex lobe is not fully developed until age 25, yet many women marry a year or two out of college. I knew a 23-year-old bride and separately, a 22-year-old groom amongest my Christian college grad friends. I do not suppose young people, at least those who feel compelled to marry to have sex (Christians), are denying themselves the "benefits" of marriage any longer than they have to. (I should have known that was the reason... I asked a non-religious friend why so many of them were marrying so fast, and she chortled and explained our belief system to me....)

We ask young people to do a lot of things before the prefrontal cortex lobe fully matures, with potentially far reaching consequences...

1. military service
2. choosing a college major and by extension, career field
3. often, choosing a mate within one's twenties
4. having a child as young as one's twenties. and if the child seems to be prenatal abnormalities, consider abortion
5. drive, as young as 16
6. get student loans and usually a credit card, manage money

But again, how would late thirtysomethings, like me, or fortysomethings approach mate selection? I don't necessarily think the results are generalizable.

With the divorce rate being what it is, perhaps, just perhaps, the only bright side to being involuntarily single for a decade or two, or longer, is being a superior spouse by virtue of experience when finally being given the opportunity.

Anecdotally, I have just figured out in my own mind that I have to lose a lot of weight to get noticed by a woman.
1. I will be noticed from a distance and approached if I look, ummm, attractive. It implies a body mass index more like 30 than 40, and preferably more like 25.
2. Qualities like character, intelligence, personality, and humor can only be observed from social interaction not halfway across the room.
3. I am sure not every American female is an idiot but not every such American female is available or in my area.
4. I am fairly certain that educating an American idiot is not an option. Who is the more foolish, a fool, or a fool who tries to educate a fool? Perhaps the American white middle class has been so comfortable, so coddled and spoiled, and so unaccustomed to genuine problems, they invent their own crises, such as gaining 10 pounds.

I have lost nearly 50 pounds off my worst case number. That only leaves 97 more pounds to go. Persistence to my diet is the primary key. Ratcheting up the exercise over time, and keeping it up over the next year or two, is the rest of it. I didn't get it all at once nor will I lose it all at once.

But let's try expanding on the research.


Christopher Marsh
Alexandria VA

Master of Arts
Sociology
Marshall University
Huntington WV

All theory is fine and I understand how looks will initially lead the way. Then reality sets in and personality comes into play. As the relationship evolves you need to become creative and spice things up to keep it interesting. Couples can find help by visiting thelovekiosk.com where they can find help and ideas to do this. Everyone goes through various stages in their lives...some will be shallow and evolve over time.

FinestImplants.com screws up most of the implants they do. I've heard they are about to go bankrupt on settling lawsuits.

I didn't say your husband was an animal. And if you are the sum total of all of two parts, then I would say that the men attracted to -you- are animals. And in that instance, for -you- and those 'men', the outlook on the world is definitely the same.

Well I must say, it worked for me. My husband isn't an animal. We both love my new look and I guess you would say all men are animals because they are attracted to me. Again I have to thank my husband and the fantastic doctors at FinestImplants.com Men and women see the world differently.

I'd like to know what were the qualifiers were for the participants. I'm sure subjectiveness entered into the dynamics of the selection process. Earlier someone complained about age factors, but what about race? I saw the Vaginia Monologues two nights ago, and when the part where the audience chants a derogatory term fo the female anatomy, I looked around the mainly white, college-aged audience of 70 percent females looked most involved and seemed to relish the experience. As a Navajo 40-year old woman, I just didn't see the fascination with the word, but then my culture and language don't use anatomy references to insult and denigrate women or males. Apparently the playwright of the Vagina Monologues felt this was an important issue that commanded address. Yet I would like to add comments for the researchers: college-aged young people are the ideal candidates for the study since they have access to the precious commodity of time and they are most experimental. I can just imagine how impossible it would have been to collect people my age into one study. Complain about the slantedness of the study, but it still represents an idea that most of us know to be very consistent. It's not nice to think that we're judged by our appearance, but it's the nature of the animal kingdom. Read Helen Fisher.

So, attractive people seek out other attractive people to meet, find some sort of common ground on which to build a relationship and ultimately marry? I wonder; Did these researchers conduct their studies at closing time?

We all seek for genetic and material improvements in our life; our search is colored, and even strongly determined, by the limits, tendencies and crazes of our own culture.

When people meet someone they feel well together with, and can speak a lot together, they will want to meet again and enhance their relation even more.

Sometimes people who get together, and get married to each other, really physically or by way of personality look like each other, so much that you could say that they were with each other even if your did not know them and just saw them walk downstreet at some distance from each other.

Colleagues that feel comfortable with each other may decide and enhance their relation directing it into their own private sphere.

Generally naturally the instinctive search for life's improvement colors the behavior in one's own search of a partner. In a culture where one's spouse is not directly chosen by oneself, it may be the parents, clan or tribe that decide who someone should be married to - all this for the same reason of improvement and of genetic and cultural preservation.

All this may apply to situations where direct or indirect choice is ever possible. Else it is so that on an isolated island, with only one male and only one female, life will try and manifest itself thru her own blunt primal drives of reproduction.

Keep reinforcing myths and stereotypes with science and studies, and that's what we're stuck with. Dare to think for yourself and not be told how you should think by all this crappola.