‘This Can’t Be Real’

Just before 3 p.m. on Valentine's Day, a 27-year-old man named Stephen Kazmierczak walked into a packed lecture hall at Northern Illinois University as class was ending and opened fire with a shotgun, killing five people and wounding 15 others before taking his own life. One of the wounded was Harold Ng, 21, a junior communications major from Mundelein, Ill., and a member of several Bible study clubs on campus. Another student, Jeff Merkel, 29, came to the aid of Ng and others. Merkel is a senior journalism major and campus newspaper journalist who served in Iraq with a Marine Corps unit. Both men shared their recollections of a harrowing afternoon that brought them together.

Harold Ng
I was in the back row, getting ready to put my book bag onto the chair, when I looked up and saw two people onstage--the professor and him. It was really fast. I remember seeing the shotgun and I saw him fire it twice. He started shooting right into the air, firing randomly. He wasn't targeting anyone. Everyone was screaming. People were really freaked out and started running toward the door. I left behind my jacket with my apartment keys, my cell phone, my iPod. I left my book bag. I thought, "Can this really be happening so close to home?"

I started running toward the door. I heard gunshots, but I didn't feel anything. No pain at all. I ran outside the building and was trying to comb my hair back. I brushed my hand all the way back, and when I checked it, it was all bloody. Covered in blood. It happened so fast. I kept thinking, "This can't be real." I tried to remain calm and stay strong. I ran to Neptune Hall, a residence nearby. I just wanted to get somewhere safe. Once I got inside, a bunch of people gathered around me and told me to sit down. They got me a Pepsi and a Butterfinger. A friend of mine walked up to me and said, "Hey." I told her, "I'm bleeding." She was in shock. People sat me down in a stairwell. They used towels to apply pressure. I was shaking a little bit, mainly because of the shock. There was a guy [Jeff Merkel], a former Marine, who bandaged my head with gauze.

After a while, the paramedics arrived. They had to deal with other people who were in more critical condition. I was managing fine. I had energy to walk. Friends helped me walk to the stretcher and I laid down. Two paramedics took me to Kishwaukee Hospital. I was classified "green," so they basically put me in a corner. I was talking to another classmate who also had been wounded. I lifted my hand up with a fist--a "fight on, we'll be all right" gesture.

I knew I was going to be OK. There was a lot of blood, but I didn't feel any pain. They did a CT scan at the hospital and found that three pellets had penetrated the skin. It didn't require surgery. The doctors also found debris that hit my skin, probably from a shell casing. They washed the wound, gave me antibiotics and said I was clear to go. The nurses and doctors got hold of my parents and told them the situation. They were really calm about it.

I give thanks to God that I survived. I feel lucky, blessed. But I don't know when I'll go back there. It'll definitely be different. I'll probably be more aware of my surroundings. But it's over with now. I have to move on.

—As told to Hilary Shenfeld