A Conspiracy Against Diana?

He is (a) a father grieving for his son; (b) a world-class social climber robbed of ultimate legitimacy by a cruel fate; (c) a passionate whistleblower exposing an unimaginable conspiracy; or (d) a nut case—or maybe all of the above. Yesterday Mohamed Al Fayed finally took the witness stand in London to present his own theories about why Princess Diana and his son Dodi (the princess's then-boyfriend) died in a 1997 Paris car crash. Al Fayed, the 75-year-old owner of Harrods department store, had pushed for the opportunity to speak at a much delayed official inquest into the deaths so that he could accuse virtually the entire British royal family as well as then-prime minister Tony Blair of being in on a vast plot to do in the lovers because Diana was pregnant with Dodi's baby—a claim other witnesses have said is impossible—and they planned to marry.

The main villain, according to Al Fayed, is Prince Philip, Queen Elizabeth's 86-year-old husband. "It is time to send him back to Germany, from where he comes," Al Fayed told the court. "You want to have his original name? It ends with Frankenstein." (In case your royal history is rusty, Philip's actual family is the Danish and German house of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg.) Al Fayed accused Philip of being both a racist and a Nazi who masterminded the conspiracy in his role as head of "that Dracula family"—meaning the Windsors, not the Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburgs. The goal was not only to get rid of Diana but also to clear the way for Prince Charles to marry Camilla Parker Bowles, "his crocodile wife" in Al Fayed's account. Charles and Camilla did indeed marry in 2005. "He's happy with that," Al Fayed said.

No amount of often contentious questioning by inquest attorneys as well as lawyers for interested parties, such as the police in London and the Ritz Hotel in Paris, could dissuade Al Fayed from sticking to his story. "I've been fighting for 10 years," he told reporters outside the court. "This is the moment for me to say exactly what happened to my son and Diana. With God's help, I hope the truth will come out." Whether it was truth or not, the testimony was certainly entertaining, even containing moments of high comedy.

Although Al Fayed maintained that Dodi and Diana were soulmates, friends of Diana's have testified that she was still trying to get over a long romance with another Muslim, surgeon Hasnat Khan, who they say was the real love of her life. But Al Fayed would not be deterred.

Asked one of the inquest attorneys: Can you explain why she was not murdered during the course of her very long and close relationship with Hasnat Khan?
Al Fayed: He was just a friend. Maybe she had some relationship with him, but … how can she marry somebody like that, who lives in a council flat and has no money? How can they think a guy like that can support her?

Q: She could not possibly marry a man on the income of a surgeon? Is that how you look at Diana, Mr. Al Fayed?
Al Fayed: It is impossible …