Songs in the Key of F

I'm sure it would be.
This whole thing was a diabolical plan I've laid to get Sarah and Jennifer Garner in bed together.

What did you think about Jon Stewart at the Oscars?
I thought he did a great job. I think it's interesting, I did a joke about "No Country for Old Men" in the show and nobody in the audience got it. I don't think anyone saw any of the movies that were nominated, and that accounted for the lack of enthusiasm for the show. But I thought the show itself was good.

Would you ever host?
Would I host? Yes. Will I be asked to host? No.

What about you and Sarah together?
That probably won't happen either.

Do you and Sarah live together?
We each have our own place. But we spend every night together.

As two comedians, are you funny at home?
We're human beings. Most of what we do is complain to each other about things. It's not like an old Bob Hope movie where we're snapping one liners back and forth. But I'm guessing we're funnier than the average couple.

Do you try to top each other?
No. Not at all. We always give each other ideas. We're not competitive in any way, except when we play Scrabble.

Who's better?
I'm not just better, I'm much better. She hates when I say that, but it's true.

Did you have board game nights?
No. We play on our cell phones. We sit there passing the phone back to each other, which at the dinner table doesn't look good. It looks like we spent the whole night ignoring each other and text-messaging other people.

Don't other people at the table mind?
We only do it if we're alone. We won't be that antisocial.

I think you should invite Ben and Matt over for a game of Scrabble.
That's not a bad idea.

Did you see the reports that Jay Leno could go to ABC? If he did, what would happen to your show?
This is the sort of thing I hear once every nine months, and then I have to spend the next six months explaining that everything is fine here. It's really a nuisance. Everybody says I'm being pushed out the door. A year later, I'm still there.

What do you see for yourself after you're done hosting?
Obesity. Death.

So good things are coming up for you?
Oh yeah.

© 2008