We don't need another book because we already know all this: women are expected to look perfect and be perfect---perfect wives, mothers, employees, housekeepers, you name it. Then we turn around and pressure each other to be even more perfect. What we need is to stop reading and start DOING: stop putting unhealthily thin models in ads, stop pressuring each other, and start supporting each other. Grow up and stop gossiping about other women's imperfections and making them feel like they HAVE to be perfect!
- 1
- 2
Pressured to be Perfect
Email To A Friend
Please fill in the following information and we'll email this link.
SPONSORED BY
Is there one perfectionist issue that stands out?
I'd say body image is number one. That's my clinical impression. It's huge. Girls die all the time from eating disorders … I've seen patients who are models, celebrities, who have beautiful bodies, but they always point out the faults. The funny thing is men don't look at women's bodies like that. Do you know any women who'd say they absolutely love their bodies? I've had a number of patients with cancer and, unfortunately, that's a big wakeup call. You really do appreciate your body. You stop obsessing about five pounds. You're grateful you're alive. Someone shouldn't have to go through something like that to appreciate what's really important. Why can't we look in the mirror and see the beauty?
Would you like to see a shift in how women perceive themselves?
Oh my God, yes … The fact is we're far kinder to people in our lives than we are to ourselves.
Does it get better or worse as women age?
The epidemiological research shows that women in their 50s and 60s are far happier than women in their 20s and 30s. Maybe part of it is that they put less pressure on themselves. By the time you're 60, a lot of the demons aren't important anymore. You've figured out your life partner, your kids are grown, you know what your career is or was. All these battles you've had, they tend to get easier. My guess is you'll find less of an issue with perfectionism as women age.
How do you treat your perfectionist patients?
Most of what I do is cognitive therapy. We use relaxation techniques, too, but the focus is cognitive therapy, looking at things in a different way, harshly examining what you're saying to yourself. For almost all of us, our worst enemy is our mind. I have so many friends who are so successful in so much of what they do, and they feel awful about themselves if their house is cluttered. That's what I'm trying to change. To get women to see that their glass is half full and to focus more on what they're good at. You can't be good at everything.
© 2008
- 1
- 2
Discuss