YOU KEEP HEARING THAT WE live in a post-literate age, but how do you explain what went on last week? As the mass media kept tabulating home-run totals, the Dow Jones industrials and the number of consecutive days above 100 degrees, a surprising number of people were obsessing over a list of the century's 100 greatest English-language novels, from James Joyce's "Ulysses" (No. 1) to Booth Tarkington's "The Magnificent Ambersons" (No. 100). The list was voted on by 10 members of the advisory board of the Modern Library, the division of Random House that publishes uniform editions of more than half the books. These distinguished white poohbahs--nine men and one woman, the British novelist and critic A. S. Byatt--have an average age of 69. As you might guess, they were sketchy on the past quarter century--just six books out of the hundred. And like all such lists--the American Film Institute's 100 greatest films, Granta magazine's 20 writers under 40--this one had a little something to get almost everybody bent out of shape. Too white. Too middlebrow. Just plain boring. Where was John Updike? Thomas Pynchon? Toni Morrison? Why genre fiction like "The Postman Always Rings Twice" and "The Maltese Falcon"? Why the motor-mouthing "On the Road"? Why was Huxley's clunky "Brave New World" No. 5 while Salinger's gemlike "The Catcher in the Rye" was only No. 64? "Tobacco Road"--seriously? And hasn't there been one worthy novel in the past 15 years? The most recent choice was William Kennedy's 1983 "Ironweed," No. 92. Only eight women writers made the grade; but novelist and critic Francine Prose, who argued in a recent Harper's magazine piece that women writers are still not taken seriously, said she "felt more offended for the sake of writers than for the sake of women."

By the end of the week, reporters were trying to track down board members. (Besides Byatt, those who voted were William Styron and Gore Vidal; historians Daniel Boorstin, Shelby Foote, Vartan Gregorian and Arthur Schlesinger Jr.; biographer Edmund Morris; art critic John Richardson, and board chairman Christopher Cerf.) And two counterlists had appeared. Students at Radcliffe College's summer publishing course picked "The Great Gatsby" first, "The Catcher in the Rye" second, "Ulysses" sixth--just after "The Color Purple"--and sneaked in "Charlotte's Web," "Winnie-the-Pooh," "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" and "The Wind in the Willows," as well as three novels by Morrison ("Song of Solomon," "Beloved" and "Jazz"). And ordinary readers kicked in choices to the Modern Library's Web site; this list was continually updated, but when last we looked, Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" narrowly led Frank Herbert's "Dune" for the No. 1 spot; "Ulysses" was No. 15, just behind Charles Portis's "The Dog of the South," and well below "The Lord of the Rings" (No. 4), Orson Scott Card's "Ender's Game" (No. 8) and Stephen King's "The Stand" (No. 10). (Our favorite entry, now below No. 100, was "Only a Factory Girl," by Rosie M. Banks--both book and author invented by P. G. Wodehouse.) Cerf was delighted with all the carping and nit-picking. "It's a neat game," he said. "Here we are talking about it, and it's going in NEWSWEEK, so it's working."

Why should we play along with what even the publisher acknowledges is a publicity stunt--or, as Random House president and editor-in-chief Ann Godoff more delicately expressed it, "a way to bring the Modern Library to public attention"? One board member told us--not for attribution, understandably--he "was under the impression that the entire thing was self-promotion by [recently resigned Random House head] Harry Evans. It seemed to be another of Harry's boondoggles." Michael Pietsch, a smart young editor at Little, Brown, sounded disgusted with us when we called to get his reaction. "The fact that you're doing something on it satisfies what these kinds of lists are created for. I don't think they have any lasting value at all." We asked Pietsch, who published David Foster Wallace's splendidly ambitious "Infinite Jest"--which we think should have made the cut and which some voters may never have heard of--if he was appalled by the spectacle. "It doesn't merit being appalled," he said.

And yet we've gone and done it. After all, it is a neat game. We've got our own nits to pick--Arthur Koestler's "Darkness at Noon" (No. 8) should be disqualified because it was originally written in German; Sherwood Anderson's "Winesburg, Ohio" (No. 24) isn't a novel but a sequence of short stories--and our own favorite neglected masterpieces, like Steven Millhauser's 1972 "Edwin Mullhouse." Just naming all these titles is a pleasure. And last week's babble of disagreement was a useful reminder that the experience of literature is ultimately subjective. After rattling off a bunch of omissions--including his own "Mumbo Jumbo"--Ishmael Reed said he was pleased to see James T. Farrell on the list. "I'd put "Studs Lonigan' before "Ulysses'." Why? "Homer did it already." On the other hand, Francine Prose complained that "when you include books like the "Studs Lonigan' trilogy--which is appalling, it's such a potboiler--it lowers the bar. Then you get into the whole question of making lists. There's something slightly adolescent about it." Nevertheless, Prose can't stop playing, any more than we can. "I was shocked that Don DeLillo wasn't on the list. And no "Gravity's Rainbow'? That's insane . . . How could you have such a list without Gertrude Stein on it? . . . If "From Here to Eternity' is on the list, and "The Naked and the Dead,' then "Gone With the Wind' should be. I wish it were more consistent." And who could do the ideal list? She laughs. "Of course, myself and my friends."

THE HOT 100

The Modern Library ranks the century's great English-language novels in order of greatness.

      1. Ulysses


James Joyce (1922)





2.The Great Gatsby  


F. Scott Fitzgerald (1925)





3. A Portrait of the


Artist as a Young Man


James Joyce (1916)





4. Lolita 


Vladimir Nabokov (1955)





5. Brave New World


Aldous Huxley (1932)





6. The Sound and the Fury 


William Faulkner (1929)





7. Catch-22 


Joseph Heller (1961)





8. Darkness at Noon


Arthur Koestler (1941)




9. Sons and Lovers


D. H. Lawrence (1913)





10. The Grapes of Wrath 


John Steinbeck (1939)





11. Under the Volcano


Malcolm Lowry (1947)





12. The Way of All Flesh 


Samuel Butler (1903)





13. 1984 


George Orwell (1949)





14. I, Claudius 


Robert Graves (1934)





15. To the Lighthouse


Virginia Woolf (1927)




16. An American Tragedy


Theodore Dreiser (1925)




17. The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter 


Carson McCullers (1940)






18. Slaughterhouse Five


Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (1969)





19. Invisible Man


Ralph Ellison (1952)





20. Native Son


Richard Wright (1940)





21. Henderson the Rain King 


Saul Bellow (1959)





22. Appointment in Samarra 


John O'Hara (1934)





23. U.S.A. (trilogy)


John Dos Passos (1936) 





24. Winesburg, Ohio 


Sherwood Anderson (1919)





25. A Passage to India 


E. M. Forster (1924)





26. The Wings of the Dove 


Henry James (1902)





27. The Ambassadors 


Henry James (1903)





28. Tender Is the Night


E Scott Fitzgerald (1934) 




29. Studs Lonigan (trilogy) 


James T. Farrell (1935) 





30. The Good Soldier 


Ford Madox Ford (1915)





31. Animal Farm


George Orwell (1945)





32. The Golden Bowl


Henry James (1904)





33. Sister Carrie


Theodore Dreiser (1900)




34. A Handful of Dust


Evelyn Waugh (1934)





35. As I Lay Dying


William Faulkner (1930)





36. All the King's Men


Robert Penn Warren (1946)





37. The Bridge of San LuisRey Thornton Wilder (1927)





38. Howards End


E. M. Forster (1910)





39. Go Tell It on the Mountain 


James Baldwin (1953)




40. The Heart of the Matter 


Graham Greene (1948)





41. Lord of the Flies


William Golding (1954)





42. Deliverance 


James Dickey (1970)





43. A Dance to the


Music of Time (series)


Anthony Powell (1975)





44. Point Counter Point 


Aldous Huxley (1928)





45. The Sun Also Rises 


Ernest Hemingway (1926)





46. The Secret Agent 


Joseph Conrad (1907)





47. Nostromo


Joseph Conrad (1904)





48. The Rainbow 


D. H. Lawrence (1915)





49. Women in Love 


D. H. Lawrence (1920)





50. Tropic of Cancer 


Henry Miller (1934)





51. The Naked and the Dead 


Norman Mailer (1948)





52. Portnoy's Complaint 


Philip Roth (1969)





53. Pale Fire


Vladimir Nabokov (1962)





54. Light in August


William Faulkner (1932)





55. On the Road


Jack Kerouac (1957)





56. The Maltese Falcon


Dashiell Hammett (1930)




57. Parade's End


Ford Madox Ford (1928)




58. The Age of Innocence


Edith Wharton (1920)





59. Zuleika Dobson


Max Beerbohm (1911)





60. The Moviegoer 


Walker Percy (1961) 





61. Death Comes for the Archbishop 


Willa Cather (1927)




62. From Here to Eternity 


James Jones (1951)




63. The Wapshot Chronicle 


John Cheever (1957)





64. The Catcher in the Rye 


J. D. Salinger (1951)





65. A Clockwork Orange 


Anthony Burgess (1962) 





66. Of Human Bondage


W. Somerset Maugham (1915)





67. Heart of Darkness


Joseph Conrad (1902)





68. Main Street


Sinclair Lewis (1920)





69. The House of Mirth 


Edith Wharton (1905)





70. The Alexandria Quartet 


Lawrence Durrell (1960)





7I. A High Wind in Jamaica


Richard Hughes (1929)





72. A House for Mr.Biswas7 


V. S. Naipaul (1961)





73. The Day of the Locust 


Nathanael West (1939)





74. A Farewell to Arms


Ernest Hemingway (1929)





75. Scoop 


Evelyn Waugh (1938)




76. The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie 


Muriel Spark (1961)





77. Finnegans Wake


James Joyce (1939)





78. Kim 


Rudyard Kipling (1901)





79. A Room With a View


E. M. Forster (1908)




80. Brideshead Revisited 


Evelyn Waugh (1945)





81. The Adventures of Augie March 


Saul Bellow (1971)





82. Angle of Repose


Wallace Stegner (1971)





83. A Bend in the River


V. S. Naipaul (1979)




84. The Death of the Heart 


Elizabeth Bowen (1938)





85. Lord Jim 


Joseph Conrad (1900)





86. Ragtime


E. L. Doctorow (1975)





87. The 0ld Wives' Tale


Arnold Bennett (1908)





88. The Call of the Wild 


Jack London (1903)





89. Loving 


Henry Green (1945)




90. Midnight's Children 


Salman Rushdie (1981)





91. Tobacco Road


Erskine Caldwell (1932)




92. Ironweed


William Kennedy (1983)





93. The Magus


John Fowles (1966)





94. Wide Sargasso Sea 


Jean Rhys (1966)





95. Under the Net


Iris Murdoch (1954)





96. Sophie's Choice


William Styron (1979)





97. The Sheltering Sky 


Paul Bowles (1949)





50. The Postman Always Rings Twice 


James M. Cain (1934)




99. The Ginger Man


J.P. Donleavy (1955)





100. The Magnificent Ambersons 


Booth Tarkington (1918)