Apnea Aids vs. Romance

"I am having a hard time seeing an educated, attractive man looking for an over-weight single mother (2 year old girl) who also has the joy of wearing a full face mask to bed," one 27-year-old woman wrote.

"It's a very big thing," acknowledges Edward Grandi, executive director of the sleep apnea association that counts 10,000 registered members in its ranks. "We hear that a big challenge is having somebody that's coming to bed with all these accoutrements as opposed to just their jammies."

Like sleeping with Darth Vader
And the challenge is growing with the number of sleep apnea sufferers. An estimated 4 percent of men and 2 percent of women between the ages of 30 and 60 in the United States suffer from severe sleep apnea, Grandi said.

That's at least 18 million Americans who shuffle through life in a sleep-deprived haze. Only about 10 percent of sufferers are diagnosed, but the most common prescription is a CPAP.

Still, less than half of those sent home with a CPAP wind up using it, experts said. It's easy to see why. The machine works by blowing a stream of air down a plastic tube and through a plastic mask, using the pressure to keep airways open.

Even the most streamlined models can't hide the Darth Vader-like effect of slipping on the device and flipping the switch, acknowledged Dr. William Orr, a sleep expert and president of the Lynn Health Science Institute at the Oklahoma University Health Sciences Center.

"It's like sleeping with a vacuum cleaner strapped to your nose," he said. "You wouldn't go around dating somebody and put this thing on and say, 'Hey, look what I've got.'"

While CPAP wearers complain about claustrophobia, inconvenience and the weird effect of being plugged into the wall all night, their partners have other issues.

The noise of the motor can be annoying, like leaving a blow-dryer on for hours, although some users insist the new models are no louder than a large fan or a refrigerator. The CPAP's steady stream of exhaled air also can bother partners who suddenly feel like they're sleeping in a wind tunnel.

After 46 years of marriage, Jim and Ann Hurd of Colorado Springs, Colo., had to stop cuddling because of her CPAP machine.

"My husband and I were snugglers all night long," said Ann Hurd, 66. "But he doesn't like the cold air blowing on him."

And there's no question it's hard to feel seductive while wearing the thing. Vern Hulse, 66, of Ririe, Idaho, has worn a CPAP for seven years, so when his wife, Betty, 63, got one last fall, she didn't mind.