Apnea Aids vs. Romance

"But if I wore one and he didn't, I might have been a little vain," said Betty Hulse. "If I were a young woman in my 20s and I was alone, I would wear it, but if I had an overnight visitor, there's no way."

Despite those obstacles, CPAP users and sleep experts said the benefits of the machine far outweigh the impositions on intimacy.

'Most unromantic device ever'
Sleep-deprived people are not good partners, noted Rosalind Cartwright, chairman of the of the psychology department at Rush University and founder of the school's sleep disorders center. She calls the CPAP "the most unromantic device ever," but says using the machine or an oral applicance can rescue a troubled marriage.

"You don't want somebody to go untreated," she said. "When people are sleepy, they can keep up their work role, but their husband role, their parenting role, their love role, they can't keep it up."

That's often true in a sexual sense as well. In addition to life-threatening health problems and psychological symptoms, people with untreated sleep apnea often suffer from impotence and other disorders.

Unexpected perks
For Reid Johnson, a 28-year-old salesman from Charleston, S.C., using the CPAP caused some funny moments with college girlfriends, but also some unexpected benefits.

"The relief of being able to sleep and have energy again was so great that I did not care what anyone thought," Johnson said. "And, after the mask my libido unquestionably went up. I had energy again and was not always sick."

Now married, Johnson said his CPAP doesn't hamper his sex life. His wife, Christina, even nicknamed the device "Snuffalufagus," he said.

Most CPAP users say they're as matter-of-fact about the device as anyone who needs crutches, prosthetics or other aid for a serious medical condition—and that they expect romantic partners to be the same.

"I've never been self-conscious about it," said Vicki Thon, a 50-year-old single mom who has balanced CPAP use and an active social life for 11 years. "I say, 'This is what I need to be healthy.'"

For couples who can't tolerate the device, there are a few options. Chris Peterson, for instance, lost 20 pounds, decreased his snoring—and ditched the machine, much to his wife's delight.

"We got our life back," Babbett Peterson said.