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Smoke Ring
So, a week after my hunger-induced enlightenment, I finished my last pack (the one everyone is always "on"), determined to end my addiction. It was a struggle, but my fear of failing became my strength. Instead of thinking "I will never smoke again," I concentrated on getting through each moment of weakness. At first, the cravings were constant, but recognizing that cheating, even once, would send me back to square one helped me push through the temptations until I found myself growing out of them. I also found, to my surprise, most of my friends encouraging me rather than discouraging me.
Today, after five smoke-free months, I know that the elements of my friendships and my social life are not dependent on filters and tobacco; in fact, they are completely independent ideas and concepts. My friends still smoke, without the intention of quitting, but I didn't have to abandon them. Although it is still slightly testing to stand in a smoke circle and not smoke, conversation and constant self-assurance keep me balanced. I know that my cravings are momentary and my friends will be my friends with or without a cigarette in my hand. I feel freer now that I am no longer tied down by my addiction and devotion to smoking. Not surprisingly, I also feel healthier. My lungs are slowly recovering from their three-year abuse, thanking me by way of fuller breaths and longer jogs. It's also really nice, I've since noticed, to remain seated at the table between appetizer and meal.
Carter lives in Wenham, Mass.
© 2008
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Member Comments
Posted By: skinnyminny2 @ 03/31/2008 1:49:12 PM
Comment: Good for you in quitting! You're a beautiful young woman and, health risks aside, there's nothing worse than seeing a striking woman smoking a cigarette.
Posted By: JohnRPolito @ 03/30/2008 9:15:30 AM
Comment: A most insightful piece on a host of levels, Lindsey! The reasons we started smoking, peer pressure, to look more adult, curiosity, rebellion are not the reasons that roughly 90% of us continue smoking. Although the nicotine addict's list of smoking rationalizations is long, when hit with truth there isn't much left. Your friends are not destroying more of the 800 million air sacs they started with or further damaging their circulatory system's ability to transport life giving oxygen out of friendship. They do so because insula driven craves, urges and anxieties will punish them if they don't. They don't smoke for taste. There are zero taste buds inside human lungs. They don't smoke for stress reduction. Nicotine is an alkaloid and stress turns the body's fluids more acidic, depleting nicotine reserves. In reality we add early withdrawal to every stressful event life threw our way. One of the most amazing nicotine dependency recovery gifts is an elevated sense of calm during crisis as now we only face the underlying stressful event, not nicotine withdrawal too. As you know, Lindsey, your friends can only quit for themselves. But if and when the time comes they benefit greatly by having a wise friend and supporter like you in their corner. As you've so clearly stated, there was always only one rule ... no nicotine, just one hour, challenge and day at a time.
John R. Polito
Nicotine Cessation Educator