Good for you in quitting! You're a beautiful young woman and, health risks aside, there's nothing worse than seeing a striking woman smoking a cigarette.
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Smoke Ring
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So, a week after my hunger-induced enlightenment, I finished my last pack (the one everyone is always "on"), determined to end my addiction. It was a struggle, but my fear of failing became my strength. Instead of thinking "I will never smoke again," I concentrated on getting through each moment of weakness. At first, the cravings were constant, but recognizing that cheating, even once, would send me back to square one helped me push through the temptations until I found myself growing out of them. I also found, to my surprise, most of my friends encouraging me rather than discouraging me.
Today, after five smoke-free months, I know that the elements of my friendships and my social life are not dependent on filters and tobacco; in fact, they are completely independent ideas and concepts. My friends still smoke, without the intention of quitting, but I didn't have to abandon them. Although it is still slightly testing to stand in a smoke circle and not smoke, conversation and constant self-assurance keep me balanced. I know that my cravings are momentary and my friends will be my friends with or without a cigarette in my hand. I feel freer now that I am no longer tied down by my addiction and devotion to smoking. Not surprisingly, I also feel healthier. My lungs are slowly recovering from their three-year abuse, thanking me by way of fuller breaths and longer jogs. It's also really nice, I've since noticed, to remain seated at the table between appetizer and meal.
Carter lives in Wenham, Mass.
© 2008
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