The Curious Lives of Surrogates

you kno wat i think that its just plain wrong to pay another person to have a baby for you..do u kno wat that person goes through..and for wat....moments after birth you take that baby..and u kno wat if that bay finds out the ral story o boy ur in big trouble....n y not adopt..maybe its just not meant to be for u...to have ur own genetic kids but theres always another way

I am matched with a man who is finally at the point in his life that he can raise a child. I would never pass my moral judgement on anyone. Everyone has an opinion and that is what makes this such a diverse country. I am glad that I am able to help this man have a child of his own. Sometimes adoption is just not the answer. How long should you have to wait to adopt, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years? What is you are single or gay? It is not "easy" to adopt. Put yourself in that other person's shoes. I think of my life without my children and then I think of me being able to give someone else that joy and no matter what anyone says, It is definitely worth it!!!

No, adoption has become very very risky. As a scammed adoptive parent, the problem is, both with agencies and without, both with background checks, and the like, there is no way to stop the scamming. You see, we have to pay living expenses to birth mothers wanting to give up their children. While many birthmothers are just wonderful, our last two were anything but monsters. Our birthmother, from our most recent failed and very expensive attempt, took our payments of $3,000 per month for seven months and also took two other families' living expense money. She promised the baby to all of us, all the while taking our money. The DA in most of these cases doesn't prosecute. While we realize we will never get our money back, unless she is prosecuted, it never shows up on a record for the background check and she can then do this over and over and over to many families like ours who have had to save for over a year to get the chance to adopt again. We are broke, brokenhearted and just tired of domestic adoption. Surrogacy is something we are trying to do now. We'll see how that goes. Adoption is a hit or miss kind of thing, you are either lucky and get the baby right away, or like us and have to keep plugging at it, and hopefully after spending tens of thousands of dollars you will have your little bundle of joy. The adoptions in this country are not regulated as far as paying for expenses, because they say its ethically wrong. I agree and disagree. I think we should have to compensate the birthmother, but my question is, is it ethically wrong to steal money from people and get away with it. Granted, she could "change" her mind, which would be just as heartbreaking, but so many more times then not, its not just changing her mind, its a scam. In our cases, she accepted money from multiple parents, she only has one baby, thats a scam. So yes, adoption is geting passe, because people are getting sick of the way the system is run. I support surrogacy, thank God there are woman out there who care enough about couples like us to help us. I think they are blessings, and this is our next attempt to become a family. We just have to save for another year first, AGAIN.

No, adoption has become very very risky. As a scammed adoptive parent, the problem is, both with agencies and without, both with background checks, and the like, there is no way to stop the scamming. You see, we have to pay living expenses to birth mothers wanting to give up their children. While many birthmothers are just wonderful, our last two were anything but monsters. Our birthmother, from our most recent failed and very expensive attempt, took our payments of $3,000 per month for seven months and also took two other families' living expense money. She promised the baby to all of us, all the while taking our money. The DA in most of these cases doesn't prosecute. While we realize we will never get our money back, unless she is prosecuted, it never shows up on a record for the background check and she can then do this over and over and over to many families like ours who have had to save for over a year to get the chance to adopt again. We are broke, brokenhearted and just tired of domestic adoption. Surrogacy is something we are trying to do now. We'll see how that goes. Adoption is a hit or miss kind of thing, you are either lucky and get the baby right away, or like us and have to keep plugging at it, and hopefully after spending tens of thousands of dollars you will have your little bundle of joy. The adoptions in this country are not regulated as far as paying for expenses, because they say its ethically wrong. I agree and disagree. I think we should have to compensate the birthmother, but my question is, is it ethically wrong to steal money from people and get away with it. Granted, she could "change" her mind, which would be just as heartbreaking, but so many more times then not, its not just changing her mind, its a scam. In our cases, she accepted money from multiple parents, she only has one baby, thats a scam. So yes, adoption is geting passe, because people are getting sick of the way the system is run. I support surrogacy, thank God there are woman out there who care enough about couples like us to help us. I think they are blessings, and this is our next attempt to become a family. We just have to save for another year first, AGAIN.

I would love to be a surrogate i think its special doing something like this for people who cant have kids of there own.I have a 2 month old and would in a heart beat provide a family with love and emotions of having a child.If anyone has any ideas on how i coulod become a surrogate please let me know.

iw ould love to have met some wondeful woman to bear me a child as i cannot have one of my own but at last i also cannot afford their fees either. so my hats off to all the women who give someone the gift of a babby and by doing this making that person or couple complete.

I am a 34 educated women who is married with 2 children. I research surrgacy a few years ago and did not go through with it. Not because I did not want to do it, time just got a way from me. I have always had a passion to help others. I have been on the bone marrow donors list for a few years and have been called twice. I loved being pregnant but do not wish to have anymore of my own children. After reading this I am going to look into becoming a surrgate as I feel sadden by all the men and women that cannot enjoy the things that I from my children.

jswwkm@aol.com
i would love to have met some wonderful woman like that to carry me a child as I cannot have one of my own
but i cannot afford to hire a surrogate either. so my hats off to all the women willing to give a life to make someone else's life complete.

I know some wonderful adoption stories, and I also know some real heartbreaker stories (unbelievable actually, and far far too much to go into in much detail here). Those who say "just adopt" are mostly people who have not been anywhere near that process, and don't realize one thing about it except the happy end result for some people. (Age limits you in many countries as well. I have a friend whose daughter has been languishing in China for years now--it is extraordinarily painful for them. I know another couple who were tricked by the Ukranian orphanage they contracted with--they basically held these kids hostage and made sure the process would not happen, and counted on the fact that most of the couples who had come that far would not waste their energies in court. It was a real scheme. I know many other stories such as this, but this is not a story about adoption. We are not to tell others how they should build their families. I believe if you will dismiss an infertile couple with the "just adopt" comment when they are attempting to be treated for their affliction, or if they ask someone with a tremendous heart for helping others who wants to give them life where there was none (or where there was death) God bless them and be thankful you do not have to suffer those afflictions or make those painful choices. If you advocate adoption, do so yourself first.

I'm sure that the ones that have commented on this, are not in the situation that requires you to make this kind of decision. I think it is a beautiful thing that someone would carry a child for a complete stranger. At the age of 24, while giving birth to my daughter, the doctor messed up, which caused me to have to have a hysterectomy. I would have loved to other children and now my only choice would be to adopt or have a surrogate mother carry my child. As for adopting, there is fee with that as well, depending on where you adopt the child from, but it's usually around $10,000. and if you try to adopt from the state, Good Luck! You get a complete run around, only for them to tell you that they don't have a child for you. As for the medical costs of a surrogate mother, usually the family of which the woman is carring the baby for is responsable for all the medical costs. I give a lot of credit to all the surrage mothers and what they are doing, if the tables were turned and I was still able to carry a child, I would be a surrogate mother in a heart beat!!!

Wombs to rent 50 cents, no phone, some food, no pets, she wont smoke no cigarettes and then 2 hours of pushing brings, a new 7 pound human being

I am a 34 year old woman that was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer five years ago. Unfortunately I had to have a hysterectomy and of course unable to have children. I believe anyone who does this is unbelievably selfless and this is the most wonderful gift you can give a couple that cannot have children. One of my closest friends has offered to be a surrogate for us. I don't understand how people can be negative about this experience. I would love for them to live in my shoes for a day. I wish adoption was not so difficult but it is what it is. This gift makes me cry everytime I think about it. I am getting choked up just writing this comment. I look forward to this time in our life. Thank you to all the wonderful women out there that make motherhood possible for women like me. You really do give us hope.