The Curious Lives of Surrogates

i use to live in Huntsville, i now live in Athens. My husband and i tried for 7 years to have a baby. finally 1 step short of invetro we conceved (between meds no less!) My cousin cant have babies and shes 22. I have thought about if i could have used a surrogate or if i could have been one to her in turn. i think i could be one as long as the egg wasnt mine. i loved being pregnant (i was able to have 2 babies 13 months apart!) but dont think i could handle having a part of me "missing" if it was my egg.

I think that people who are apposed to surrogacy are just people who are not educated about it. If you knew more about it, you would be thankful that there are wonderful, selfless women out there who truly want to do this to help another couple. I'm going to be a surrogate soon, and am not doing it for the money. I also donate blood, am on the bone marrow donor list, and occasionally donate my time for different reasons. I do all of these things because we are all on this planet together, so why not help each other and make the world a better place! We don't need ignorant people thinking they know what they are talking about and criticizing others for doing good.

Moreover, Christ repeatedly told us not to condemn the acts of others. What we ARE supposed to do? Love one another and help each other when necessary, like in raising a child.

I love how the question of what God wants is always in these discussions. I am a Christian and no where in the Bible does it condem surogacy. Stop using our Lord as amunition in your moral battles becuase you don't agree with someone else's choices. Show some love and compashion toward your fellow man.

As a previous surrogate and the founder of Rocky Mountain Surrogacy... I believe in surrogacy. It helps all the famililes involved.
The gift of life is priceless.
The blessings that the surrogate receives are far more than just the money it is the appreciation of your own family and knowing that you could do something amazing for someone else.

I am the founder of Rocky Mountain Surrogacy, LLC and would love to answer any questions that anyone may have either from those who are interested in having a surrogate or those who might be curious about becoming a surrogate. I am a previous surrogate myself and loved the experience and loved helping others grow their families.
Surrogacy is not for everyone. But for those that are selfless enough to help others I applaud you.

Everyone's situation is different as to why they'd pursue this or any other path to parenthood. I currently have a friend that is hoping to be an IM if/when her surrogate gets pregnant. She had to have a kidney transplant after her first child was born via IVF/ICSI. She had frozen embryos she could not transfer into herself as it was unhealthy for her to be pregnant again. Her options were to pursue surrogacy, destroy the embryos, or give up the embryos for "embryo adoption", letting another couple carry AND raise the child.
Given those choices, who can blame her for hoping to be able to raise her own children.

I, myself, am 31 weeks pregnant with baby created via egg donation. At 31 my eggs had given out. And as someone who had been in the donor's position on all the hormones and gone through the egg retrieval myself, I know that the $5K she got is NOT the incentive for doing this. While I paid for the privilege to be that miserable(ok, insurance paid too), to do that to yourself for a perfect stranger is NOT money motivated.

Those who say "you should just adopt" have often never tried to adopt. It's a long uphill battle just as infertility treatments are. And in the end, both are rewarding, but both have their drawbacks. And adoption is NOT cheap. If we pursue this path again for a second child, we'd do egg donation or embryo adoption.

Emily

Has anyone ever heard of adoption? People waste so much money on these procedures sfter years and years of wasted money trying to get pregnant themselves. You could spend that money to adopt a baby that will otherwise most likely grow up in a bad situation. But too many people think that then your really not the parent. If your the one who is there for the kid from early on, and you take care good care of them, your their parent.

I don't think this is a bad thing for people to do, but it's not like they are getting the pregnancy experience anyway. But I suppose people would rather waste a lot of money on the chance and I repeat 30% chance that they can get a kid that looks like them, by messing with God's natural way, rather than saying 'Hey God gave me this desire to have a child, and I know I can be a good parent, and there are a lot of kids/babies out there who have been abandoned by their parents or their parents can't take care of- maybe God would like it if I helped by adopting." Now that's a thought huh???

Quite frankly, it upsets me that these women are abusing the Tricare system and using our taxpayer dollars (and benefits meant for the legitimate medical concerns of military members and their families) for their own financial gain. This should be considered fraud. As a military wife myself (and the sister of a combat medic), I know that medical resources are stretched thin as it is. (There are, afterall, two wars going on...) If you don't believe me, visit a base hospital--you will find it short-staffed due to combat deployments. I was recently in an accident and arrived at the base emergency room with broken bones in my face--it was so crowded and short-staffed that it took over two hours just to be seen by a doctor. Should I--or the combat veteran with heart problems, or the recent amputee who were also among those in the waiting room--really have to share limited medical resources with women who are looking to make a buck off the system? I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but it angers me to see someone like my father-in-law, who fought in both Korea and Vietnam, have to wait weeks to get an appointment at a base hospital...perhaps because thousands of women are taking advantage of a medical system that is already inadequately staffed.

I think it is nice and I understand the feeling of liking being pregnant. When I was a lot younger the thought crossed my mind,but I dont think I could hand over the baby that I carried. It's a sticky situation.

Oh, and a great website to find out more info and maybe find potential IP's...www.surromomsonline.com. That's where I found my IP's, couldn't ask for two more deserving people.

I take offense to the recent article entitled Surrogate Army Brats.

I'm a Navy wife and have been a surrogate 4 times for 3 different couples. My feelings on the use of Tricare are this:
Why should a benefit that is rightfully OURS (also tax paying citizens) not be utilized for OUR pregnancy?
Tricare allows us to use it currently - only excludes payment for the infertility costs which our couples pay.

If I were to get pregnant any other way, even to adopt out a child to another couple, Tricare would pay.

Military wives work at other occupations that cause potential harm or involve risk (much like a pregnancy) and Tricare still pays for those hospitalizations.

Just because we are compensated for our time and effort in caring for someone else's child (like any childcare worker or nanny - we do it prenatally) our rightful medical benefits should be taken away? Then this should apply to all pregnant military wives working as childcare providers too!

It comes down to this:
Surrogates receive payment for our services in the same way the reproductive doctors, obstetricians, attorneys, psychologists, and agencies involved in the process are compensated for their services. Many surrogates however receive far less then minimum wage or refuse any compensation at all because they may chose to carry for a family member or friend.

It isn't an unethical or demoralizing act to carry a child that is VERY much wanted by these couples who have struggled for years and lost the ability to carry a pregnancy...without surrogates their options to have a child are limited (especially for those who can't adopt due to age, marital status, or sexuality).

Adoption is a beautiful option too, but the staggering statistics show that the turnover rate for the birth mothers to actually relinquish their biological children is MUCH lower then with a surrogate where one or both parents are related to the child. Plus, the financial obligations to birth mothers who adopt out their children still exists for couples - sometimes at a higher rate of compensation for the mother's "expenses" and agency/attorney, then that of what a surrogate and IVF clinic require. Don't for one second believe that adoption is a cheaper or better option for couples...many however do chose to go that route if an attempt at surrogacy fails.

Finally, the beauty that exists in surrogacy arrangements and ability for the intended parents to share in the pregnancy (as though it were their own) is much more valuable then genetics, or the financial requirements.

As a surrogate I can say with or without compensation, I'm blessed to have contributed to helping others and the emotional gains FAR out weight any compensation I might receive!

You can read more about my journeys in the recent May issue of Pregnancy magazine or here:
www.coteclan.com

I take offense to the recent article entitled Surrogate Army Brats.

I'm a Navy wife and have been a surrogate 4 times for 3 different couples. My feelings on the use of our health insurance, Tricare, are this:
Why should a benefit that is rightfully OURS (also tax paying citizens) not be utilized for OUR pregnancy?
Tricare allows us to use it currently - only excludes payment for the infertility costs which our couples pay.

If I were to get pregnant any other way, even to adopt out a child to another couple, Tricare would pay.

Military wives work at other occupations that cause potential harm or involve risk (much like a pregnancy) and Tricare still pays for those hospitalizations.

Just because we are compensated for our time and effort in caring for someone else's child (like any childcare worker or nanny - we do it prenatally) our rightful medical benefits should be taken away? Then this should apply to all pregnant military wives working as childcare providers too!

It comes down to this:
Surrogates receive payment for our services in the same way the reproductive doctors, obstetricians, attorneys, psychologists, and agencies involved in the process are compensated for their services. Many surrogates however receive far less then minimum wage or refuse any compensation at all because they may chose to carry for a family member or friend.

It isn't an unethical or demoralizing act to carry a child that is VERY much wanted by these couples who have struggled for years and lost the ability to carry a pregnancy...without surrogates their options to have a child are limited (especially for those who can't adopt due to age, marital status, or sexuality).

Adoption is a beautiful option too, but the staggering statistics show that the turnover rate for the birth mothers to actually relinquish their biological children is MUCH lower then with a surrogate where one or both parents are related to the child. Plus, the financial obligations to birth mothers who adopt out their children still exists for couples - sometimes at a higher rate of compensation for the mother's "expenses" and agency/attorney, then that of what a surrogate and IVF clinic require. Don't for one second believe that adoption is a cheaper or better option for couples...many however do chose to go that route if an attempt at surrogacy fails.

Finally, the beauty that exists in surrogacy arrangements and ability for the intended parents to share in the pregnancy (as though it were their own) is much more valuable then genetics, or the financial requirements.

As a surrogate I can say with or without compensation, I'm blessed to have contributed to helping others and the emotional gains FAR out weight any compensation I might receive!

You can read more about my journeys in the recent May issue of Pregnancy magazine or here:
www.coteclan.com

aw all the best to you celeange!!!