The Curious Lives of Surrogates

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  • Posted By: lfjevents @ 03/31/2008 8:58:41 PM

    I live in South Florida, my husband & I have tried very hard to have a child with no luck . I think surrogate's are angels on earth--so very wonderful, bringing such happiness to others!!! If anyone is interested in contacting me about becoming our surrogate--Please Do! lfjevents@hotmail.com

    • Posted By: firefighteremt0114 @ 03/31/2008 9:46:40 PM

      Ifjevents-

      If youre trying to do this without a company just a word of advice, dont use someone that does not have kids. 99% of companies will not take anyone that does not have kids.

  • Posted By: getzel @ 03/31/2008 9:46:24 PM

    Wombs to rent 50 cents, no phone, some food, no pets, she wont smoke no cigarettes and then 2 hours of pushing brings, a new 7 pound human being

  • Posted By: lesbimom @ 03/31/2008 9:44:18 PM

    Anyone having questions on either side of surrogacy (intended parents or potential surrogates) should feel free to contact me at lesbimom@hotmail.com. I have been a gestational carrier 5 times.

  • Posted By: RobinU @ 03/31/2008 9:38:21 PM

    I am an intended mother expecting twins this August via a gestational carrier. Without this woman we would have not been able to fulfill our dreams of having a family. She is truly an angel and has proven that surrogacy is not about the money, our surrogate is carrying our twins for free. This expereince has been more than I could have ever wished! Thank God for Surrogates.

  • Posted By: AudubonB @ 03/31/2008 9:38:06 PM

    Interesting... Being adopted, having had the most wonderful parents, and having had family friends that couldn't conceive, I have had thoughts about being a surrogate mother at some points in time. All circumstances are different and personal - mine wasn't a "surrogate" circumstance, although I'm sure my biological mother's medical bills were paid for by my parents. I just think it's wonderful that, compensation aside, there're women out there that are willing to endure* pregnancy to fulfill the needs (?)/dreams of those who want to be parents and who will be great parents. Like mine - who WERE/ARE wonderful. (*endure = pregnancy always seems like such a beautiful thing until it comes down to the actual BIRTH stories! Then it sounds bad...unless you had a great anesthesiologist who was good with an epidural ;))

  • Posted By: firefighteremt0114 @ 03/31/2008 9:37:59 PM

    IM A 24 YR OLD MOTHER OF A 3 YR OLD BOY AND SOON TO BE 1 YR OLD GIRL. I HAVE DONT AN EGG DONATION THREE TIMES (9 KIDS OUT OF THAT) AND ABOUT TO START MY FIRST SURROGACY. IM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT. IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH THE FACT THAT I GET TO MAKE A WOMANS DREAMS COME TRUE OF HAVING A CHILD. I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO GIVE SOMEONE WHAT I HAVE WITH MY KIDS. ITS A LITTLE SELFISH BUT ISNT EVERYTHING GOOD THAT SOCIETY DOES SELFISH? NOTHING ABOUT THE ATTACHMENT SCARES ME. COME ON PEOPLE GET ATTACHED TO ANIMALS JUST THE SAME WAY AS THEY DO KIDS. HOWEVER, ATTACHMENT WILL ALWAYS COME WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT. ITS ONLY HUMAN. BEING A SURROGATE WHEN I GIVE BIRTH AND HAND THE BABY OVER TO A WOMAN WHO JUST BECAME A MOTHER AND SEE THE LOOK ON HER FACE... I WILL KNOW RIGHT THEN THAT IT WAS ALL WORTH IT...

    IF ANYONE WANTS TO TRY EGG DONATION OR SURROGACY OUT I HAVE A WONDERFUL PARENTING CENTER IN TEXAS.
    MY EMAIL IS:
    firefighteremt0114@yahoo.com

  • Posted By: lesbimom @ 03/31/2008 9:37:53 PM

    Just an FYI for couple's looking for a surrogate. All reputable agencies require a surrogate to have given birth to their own child prior to becoming a surrogate. There is no way a person who has never been pregnant can predict her bonding pattern to another couple's child if she has not already carried one.

  • Posted By: lesbimom @ 03/31/2008 9:33:34 PM

    As a 5 time surrogate for the same gay couple I have to say that my life has been incredibly, immeasurably, and fantastically enriched by this experience. I was told by the psychologist who screened me that women who bond with their babies during pregnancy should not be surrogates. Those who bond with their babies after birth have a much easier time with the post partum process. I had not sadness, regrets or missing any of the babies I gave birth to. I think this was mostly because "my guys" encouraged me to come visit as soon as I was healed from birth to see them taking care of these precious gifts. I am grateful for the journey!

  • Posted By: jcmom @ 03/31/2008 9:31:53 PM

    Hi...although I am not a surrogate I wanted to throw my 2 cents in but from a different perspective. My husband and I went thru 6 artificial inseminations followed by 3 egg retrivals and 3 rounds of IVF. During the final egg retrival the doctor got 19 eggs! (Think about high school biology class!) Eighteen of the 19 produced embryos. At the time we didn't think much of it...we had known nothing but disappointment. However, that IVF round was successful and we have a wonderful...beautiful...smart son who is now nine yrs old. What to do with the other embryos? Do you unfreeze them to let them die? Do you donate them for scientific research? Or...do you donate them with the hope that an infertile couple will be able to have a child? After much agony and prayer...we decided to donate the remaining 12 surviving embryos (in 2 batches of 6) to infertile couples. Could I have biological kids running around somewhere other than in my house? I SURE HOPE SO!!! After having suffered through infertility I can relate to the feeling that you can give a child to someone who is unable to concieve. I take my hat off to the surrogates (and of course women who choose adoption over abortion)...I don't think I have the courage to give a child up. You are beautiful and strong women. Bless you!

  • Posted By: livemylifenoregrets @ 03/31/2008 9:30:51 PM

    I've been interested in in-vitro, and I really like the comments and the article on surrogate mothers... although I have some questions, do all surrogate mothers who carry baby's for other couples are they all like a Heather Locklear look alike? Or have the body of Tyra Banks, or the Williams sisters(tennis)? Or are they all holding BA's and some in some kind of professional career? My friend has lost all her perfection on the outside that most women die to have today. Yet she is smart in alot of ways including street savvy, but her family could never afford to send her to college, tho she did get some college in, she has the most beautiful kids that she raises all alone, she's never had any diseases and her children are perfectly normal. But because she doesn't hold some paper stating some lie or she's not the athlete that we have today she can't help another couple... just wondering for me and my friend. And I'm glad there are great people out there who do want to help others, and for those that are ignorant, my mother always says "bad grass never dies."

  • Posted By: USMCWIFE75 @ 03/31/2008 9:20:58 PM

    I would seriously love to be a surrogate for a loving couple, but I have no idea how to even go about it.
    chelseasmom6@hotmail.com

  • Posted By: USMCWIFE75 @ 03/31/2008 9:18:44 PM

    I am very interested in becoming a surrogate mother, but have no idea how to even go about such a thing.
    chelseasmom6@hotmail.com

  • Posted By: marlajones @ 03/31/2008 7:26:46 PM

    If you want to hire a surrogate, hire one who lives in one of the states mentioned that recognizes surrogacy and has laws to protect all parties. Maybe even consider moving there yourself for a year or more while the pregnancy or pregnancies are occuring. Don't do it in a state that does not recognize surrogacy, you would be setting yourself up for disaster, legal, financial, or custody, the mother even keeping your baby for herself as happened in the case of Baby M.

    I know a couple who were dealing with a girl independently, paying her rent and medical bills, etc. and then she decided to keep the child herself (this was an adoption, not surrogacy, situation).

    I know of families who adopted and one family has a severely mentally disturbed child with Turrettes and another's child is schizophrenic. There were some adopted kids in my highschool, adopted from birth, and when they became teenagers they went completely wild, dropped out of school, etc. even though they had been adopted into middle class or above homes with good family structure, etc., becoming just like their birth mothers. Sometimes genes cannot be overcome and with surrogacy you have at least the knowledge of what you are getting from your own family history, as well as closely knowing about the mother's pregnancy (prenatal care, nutrition, knowing that she was not a drug user, etc.)

    • Posted By: MariaWNY @ 03/31/2008 9:13:49 PM

      That's kind of a harsh position about adoption. We adopted our son through a reputable agency, and we were aware of his birthmother's family & medical history and of her substance abuse. Although, in his case, the birthfather did not fill out the paperwork.

      Besides, with any pregnancy, the outcome isn't guaranteed, as is known all too well by families that have suffered through infertility and pregnancy loss. I can see why some would choose surrogacy, but for many reasons, it isn't a viable option for everyone. Of course there are plenty of weirdos out there, but I don't think adoption is a recipe for disaster. Plus, in my opinion, when we were growing up, adoption was generally kept secret, so I'm sure you knew plenty more kids who were adopted and perfectly "normal".

  • Posted By: manny62 @ 03/31/2008 5:04:22 PM

    To CaBez@ 03/31/2008 2:55:47 PM - I would argue the fool is the one who advocates for a system where all the children in the world waiting for parents to adopt them are overlooked by baby-greedy wealthy parent-wanna-bes who would rather rent a womb than look to give their love to a child that is not biologically theirs but already born into this world and desperately in need of a home and loving parents. But hey, suit yourself and go rent your womb and buy yourself a new plasma tv.

    • Posted By: decmoonlight @ 03/31/2008 9:11:09 PM

      Enter Your Comment I would like to know why foolish people like you dont try to change the laws of adoption and no we are not greedy! What makes you think evryone with infertility should adopt we have a right to try to have our own children!That would be like me telling you because you are foolish you cant have children!I dont think it should even concern you you are not going to be any part of it! I cant belive people can be so heartless ?

    • Posted By: Hawaiinavywife @ 03/31/2008 6:50:27 PM

      What are you talking about? Did you know that those children in the world waiting for parents cost MORE than surrogacy? We are not wealthy by any means, we have grown tired of throwing our hard earned money into a risky pit of adoption. We have even tried to adopt from the foster care system. Do you want to discuss that price tag? Adoption is about greed in this country, pure and simple. Surrogacy puts the ball more in our court. We will have a child because of our wonderful surrogate. She is giving us this gift. We are eternally greatful to her for her willingness to help us. You need to do some research.

  • Posted By: letemlive @ 03/31/2008 6:14:51 PM

    if every baby that is being murdered via abortion were instead put up for adoption there would be no shortage of children to be taken and raised and loved by these people who can bear their own babies

    • Posted By: USA_voice @ 03/31/2008 9:08:14 PM

      Many women considering abortion would view their bodies as being used like a surrogacy--a mother for a baby they do not intend to keep, and many of these women may be emotionally unwilling to do so. Adoption is a beautiful thing as is surrogacy. However, if these women are emotionally unstable, abortion is made to look as the logical alternative.

    • Posted By: KMidders @ 03/31/2008 6:26:41 PM

      amen to that

  • Posted By: Lovenme @ 03/31/2008 7:50:12 PM

    I think that any woman who becomes a surrogate is an amazing individual. I am a surrogate child, and I thank my mothers best friend every day for giving me life. It is amazing for someone to do this for any family, and anyone who has something bad to say, obviously has no heart. Thank you to all the surrogate mothers out there, you do a wonderful thing.

    • Posted By: aimee13 @ 03/31/2008 8:16:25 PM

      Lovenme such a great post! I wish every single person who critcizes surrogates would read your post! I feel so much love for people who has taken part in surrogacy and it's beyond me how somone can be so narrowminded and insensitive to find it "immoral" and "selfish". Thanks for sharing!!

      • Posted By: SarahJ @ 03/31/2008 9:00:50 PM

        Well, as they say, "Out of the mouths of babes." This says it all. Can't argue with Lovenme on this one.

  • Posted By: karalives@msn.com @ 03/31/2008 8:58:19 PM

    I am interested in finding a surrogate mother. Please contact me at karalives@msn.com

  • Posted By: LisaVinton @ 03/31/2008 8:46:06 PM

    As a surrogate mother twice over, carrying twins in 1994 and a single girl in 2002, it was one of the most awsome experiences in my life and my family. I am still in contact with the families, but I do miss the mom more than the babies. That may sound strange, being as maternal as I am, but you know from the beginning that the whole idea is to give the gift of life. With less than 3% of crisis pregnancies going to adoption, this is an incredible option for everyone concerned!

    • Posted By: SarahJ @ 03/31/2008 8:57:27 PM

      Fascinating. Thanks for sharing. I am amazed by this. I have a friend who is waiting for her baby through a surrogate. It's kind of mind blowing and beautiful at the same time. Wow.

  • Posted By: karalives@msn.com @ 03/31/2008 8:56:48 PM

    I am interested in finding a surrogate mother. I am 33 and had a hysterectomy a few years ago. I have since divorced and am very happy in a new relationship and would love to have another child with my new man. I still have an ovary so the baby could still be my own. You can contact me at karalives@msn.com.

  • Posted By: Charilee7 @ 03/31/2008 8:41:02 PM

    I carried twins as a gestational surrogate, and I am college educated, on my way to being an RN, and my husband is is postal worker. We have no money problems. I can not believe Ms. Little had the nerve to allude to surrogates being equal to prostitutes in saying "because you are selling use of the body, and historically when that's happened, that hasn't been good for women." That honestly disgusts and offends me. I delivered twin boys at 7 lbs a piece, and I am one of those who pumped and shipped milk for months. I was asked to be interviewed for this article, and I am glad I turned it down.

    • Posted By: SarahJ @ 03/31/2008 8:50:49 PM

      I think what you've done is wonderful. I think it is miraculous -- it's funny all the negativity, but not surprising. If you recall, when IVF was new, there were all the same critical comments. Unfortunately, infertility is on the rise. I suspect some of these commentors might confront infertility in their own children (I sure hope they that do not, but infertility is becoming much more prevalent) and if they do, they may soften their stances that seem so intractable right now.

      Thanks for sharing your story. It's lovely.

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