The Curious Lives of Surrogates
Jennifer Hansen, the surrogate from Nebraska, says she had a few requests from her intended parents that were odd to her "as a Midwestern girl." Hansen says she's been asked not to pump her own gas. "They believe it leads to miscarriage," she says. "I've also been asked to change my cleaning supplies to all green, natural products. I'm a Clorox girl, and have no idea where to even buy these products. So they just box them up and send them to me from California." What most surrogates don't realize, according to Margaret Little, a professor of philosophy at Georgetown University and fellow at the Kennedy School of Ethics, is that the contracts governing their conduct during the pregnancy are not enforceable. She does have to surrender the baby once he's born, but cannot be forced to have (or not have) an abortion, or to obey restrictions on what she can eat, drink or do. The intended parents' only recourse is to withhold payment; they cannot police her conduct. "Surrogacy raises important red flags," Little says, "because you are selling use of the body, and historically when that's happened, that hasn't been good for women."
On the other hand, other agencies reported that some concerned surrogates have pumped and shipped their breast milk to the intended parents weeks after the birth out of fear that the newborn will not build a strong immune system without it.
As for Jennifer Cantor, resting at home last week after delivering Jonathan and Ethan, she intends to stay in touch with the family whose lives are now inextricably bound up with hers. Before returning to their home in Georgia, Lisa and Kerry brought the twins for a visit with the stranger who bore them, and with Cantor's daughter, Dahlia, whose relationship to them doesn't even have a word in the language yet. Lisa described her babies as "the true meaning of life … absolutely perfect." Next time they're hoping for girls. They're also hoping to find someone like Cantor—who, however, does not plan to be a surrogate again, much as she enjoyed it. She is relieved that she can sit normally and put her arms around Dahlia again, without a big belly in between them. She was happy that she had been able to fulfill her dream of bearing a child for someone else. "It was exactly," she said last week, "the experience I imagined it would be."
With Jeneen Interlandi and Daniel Stone
© 2008
Loading Menu
Member Comments
Posted By: M. in Montana @ 05/10/2008 1:16:25 PM
Comment: What an uninspired article. You have completely missed the beautiful joy that surrogacy can be.
Posted By: secondclassmama @ 04/27/2008 11:42:45 PM
Comment: sorry for the multiple posts but it kept telling me it couldn't add my comment so I kept clicking. oops!
Posted By: secondclassmama @ 04/27/2008 11:40:42 PM
Comment: And let me add, I am offended by your insinuation that I am not a "stable" candidate and that I need psychological counseling. However syrupy you make yourself sound, you are still insulting me. The fact is this child is my child biologically and spiritually, no contract will change that nor will anyone's biased opinions. I suspect your opinion comes from the idea that you need to choose a side in this surrogacy battle but let me tell you it is not so black and white. There are many IP's that choose to have continued contact with their surrogate and you had a poll, many surrogates woulsd not even agree to work with a couple that wanted no contact afterwords. People deceive eachother all the time and it is never ok. It is never ok to lie to an unexpecting person especially when it comes to something as lifechanging as creating a child. I wonder, would you be telling the birthmother of a child put up for adoption that it was not her child? What is the difference? A country where you do not have the right to change your mind would not be a free country. No other mother in this nation is without the inherent right to raise her child if she chooses to do so.