In the Land of Aphasia

Who knew that the greatest challenge of my life would turn out to be the greatest blessing?
I could say that I rose to the challenge, grabbed it by the horns, and by sheer determination, I conquered my disability in a Rambo-like manner. But this is not how it happened. It took much more than that. It took, first of all, lots of love—love my husband showed when he gently held my hands, looked at me with a tender yet determined heart and said: "No matter what happens, I will always take care of you"; love from my family that brought them immediately to my side from 10,000 miles away in Turkey, and made them take turns being with us for a whole year; love from friends near and far, as they put their prayers behind a thousand origami cranes that hung on the ceiling of our bedroom, as they came to teach me how to speak again.

It also took letting go of my past life and learning to accept a new world.  I let go of the ego that proudly stood between me and people who wanted to help me. I became open to receiving that help and let go of the notion of "I know best" in exchange for listening to people I trusted.

I learned to take each day one by one. I began to see the best in people and treated them as if it was the last time I would see them. I hope that anyone who has had an experience like mine is transformed by this knowledge. Each and every day we wake up we receive a gift, the most precious gift of all: another day to live. It is not to be taken for granted.
With the help of my exceptional therapists, I improved week by week, and I'm still improving. I can write, draw and do math again. I even started a blog, expressiveaphasia.blogspot.com, where I chronicled my story day by day.

As of now, I can speak well, although I'm still a bit slow and clumsy. I have all of my vocabulary back—both my English vocabulary and my native Turkish. Most of my paralysis has been resolved, but part of my face remains weak. People think that I have a thick accent. They often ask me what the country of my origin is. I want to tell them "I come from a country called Aphasia."

Turhan lives in Bethesda, Md.

© 2008