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PARENTING

Helicopter Moms vs. Free-Range Kids

A New York columnist lets her grade-schooler ride the subway alone, provoking a wave of criticism. But do kids really need more supervision than in generations past?

Special to Newsweek
Apr 21, 2008 | Updated: 1:38  p.m. ET Apr 21, 2008

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  • Posted By: lallen08 @ 05/01/2008 8:19:04 AM

    Comment: We live in an affluent, low crime, busy urban neighborhood. When my 10yo daughter started making the half mile walk home from her small private school every day, everyone noticed and had an opinion which they all felt free to express. Teachers were supportive while other parents (moms) questioned my judgment. One mom was so appalled that she offered to drive my daughter home every day. I began to question my own judgment and then read "Protecting the Gift" by Gavin De Becker, about making these sorts of calls about what is safe and what isn't and how to mitigate risk while promoting autonomy as opposed to eliminating risk while quashing autonomy. And I did the research to defend myself from the criticism. In the 70s when I was riding my bike all over town by myself, I was fully twice as likely to be victimized by a stranger as my daughter is now and I had no clue how to keep myself safe if necessary. The world is a safer place and our children are better informed than we were.

  • Posted By: kfish @ 04/29/2008 6:30:20 PM

    Comment: When I was young, I rode BART when I was 7 by myself to visit my Dad at his job. This was in 1978. As early as 6 years old, my sister and I would walk to the library by ourselves, which was a mile away. We would ride our bike 3 blocks away to visit a friend and stay until dark before we were called home. As a mother now, I am not sure if I would allow my children to go to the park by themselves when they are older.

    Times are different now. Now we have the Megan???s Law website when we can see where convicted sex offenders live in our area. We have 10 living in a 1 mile radius where we live. We have shows like Catch a Predator which shows how many men would be willing to have sexual relations with a minor. We hear about Priests who were supposed to be trustworthy and safe, molesting children.

    Right now I am thinking about putting GPS locator chips in their shoes, jewelry or anything that would not come off easily so my children would be easily tracked by the Police should something happen to them. Some parents and I had a discussion as why we cannot put a GPS locator chip under their skin like we do pets. Of course we cannot do this, but it was discussed.

    I wish my children could have the same amount of freedom that I had but I do not think we can in this day of information overload. It has made some parents, including me, more paranoid

  • Posted By: guestliz @ 04/29/2008 2:04:51 PM

    Comment: I think this is is great, because it opens up a debate all of us American parents sorely need to have. The loss of independent outdoor and indoor playtime means kids do not get the opportunities to gain the confidence that comes from making their own decisions and relying on their own judgment. Too often parents confuse over-protectiveness with good parenting and smugly judge others for their perceived failure to view the world as a crime-ridden hell hole waiting to harm their child, instead of as a place the child needs to learn to function in before he or she turns 18. A balance needs to be found and articles and discussion like this will help us all find the equilibrium between safety and allowing the child the freedom it needs to actually grow up.

  • Posted By: HigherEdCounts @ 04/29/2008 12:50:52 PM

    Comment: Kudos to this mom. We're talking about a relative situation here and if New York City is all this child has known - there are going to be certain survival skills that he picks up along the way. I don't think that her decision is cavalier - I think kids are policed so much that by the time they reach college, they don't know how to think for themselves because there has always been someone behind them telling them what to do and how to think - parents or educators. I've seen parents go to elementary schools to video tape bully's picking on their kids incase they sue other parents. It's ridiculous. This situation is not about absolutes, as the author points out, it's dependent on the maturity, development , psychological and emotional development of the child. A good parent can evaluate that. There is no way to predetermine what will happen to our children, but a parent's job is teach them how to be independent and take care of themselves. When we start coddling, we need to ask: are we doing it for ourselves or the child?

  • Posted By: shepriggs @ 04/29/2008 11:16:20 AM

    Comment: Are ther worse parents? Absolutely. Does that excuse the lacadaiscal attitude this woman has show for her child's safety? No. For those of you extolling the virtues of childhood freedom, I suggest you ride the New York Subway alone. And don't forget, it hasn't been all that long ago in our history that children worked 16 hour days in factories, or children were a commodity to be disbursed into the world willy nilly into dangerous situations - marriages at 12 and 13, or training to be blacksmiths at 14. There is a reason we don't do those things anymore. And, there is a reason a child should not be riding the subway alone at age 9, no matter how mature. There is a reason children have parents and don't live independantly. Kids need freedom and they need to be able to play and grow on their own. But they also need guidance and a sane parent making reasonable decisions about their safety. My 10 year old is not allowed to walk the neighborhood alone, or go to the park by himself. But he can go with his 14 year old brother. And when he hits 12, we'll think about letting him go it alone based on his personal developement. Let's be reasonable, people.

  • Posted By: ping33 @ 04/29/2008 5:57:45 AM

    Comment: I was a 'latch-key' kid of the late 80's/early 90's.
    I was never: Poisoned, kidnapped, sexually abused or in any other way damaged by an upbringing by loving parents who would probably be sitting in jail for child abuse if I were 15 years younger. I took the train to downtown Boston alone when I was 12. I think the Nanny society does children no favors and Parents will regret it down the line when their 31-year-old children are still living, jobless, at home, totally unable to fend or think for themselves.

  • Posted By: staycelyne @ 04/28/2008 9:49:13 PM

    Comment: Cool! Interesting article, coudln't agree more. Be smart but don't be crazy. I let my daughter fall down, trip, etc. I don't try to prevent or catch her unless something is truly dangerous. She's eaten sand, grass, dirt, and I am ok with it. (As long as she doesn't eat copious amounts) I don't try to shield her from people with colds and I don't disinfect every surface of my house. Life is about learning! And kids need some space to explore and experience life. That being said, I still run a tight ship and you can bet your bottom dollar my kids won't ever say something like 'It's fun to do bad things'.

  • Posted By: MsEddy @ 04/28/2008 7:31:33 PM

    Comment: I'm 51 and I can assure you that this is NOT the world we grew up in. We used to play outside until the street lights turned on. Yes, we may be over protective, but as I mother I prefer to err on the side of caution. I can assure you that my 5 year old will never be kidnapped on her way to school, because in order for that to happen they would have to snatch her out of my car; and I pity the person that attempted that! As for letting her ride the subway in three years when she is eight, as this mother did... are you crazy??? Never!!!!

  • Posted By: MsEddy @ 04/28/2008 7:31:25 PM

    Comment: I'm 51 and I can assure you that this is NOT the world we grew up in. We used to play outside until the street lights turned on. Yes, we may be over protective, but as I mother I prefer to err on the side of caution. I can assure you that my 5 year old will never be kidnapped on her way to school, because in order for that to happen they would have to snatch her out of my car; and I pity the person that attempted that! As for letting her ride the subway in three years when she is eight, as this mother did... are you crazy??? Never!!!!

  • Posted By: MsEddy @ 04/28/2008 7:28:48 PM

    Comment: No, this is not the same world we grew up in. I'm 51 and I played outside until the stree lights turned on, but I would NEVER let my daughter do that today. I'm not sure how the world has changed, but it is far more dangerous out there for kids. Yes, we may over protect them, but I prefer to err on the side of caution and keep my kid safe. I know my daughter will never be kidnapped on her way to school because, in order for that to happen they would have to literally snatch her out of my car, and I pity the person that attempted that! As for letting her ride the subway alne three years from now as this mother did with her 8 year old... are you crazy???? Never!!!

  • Posted By: c_shane @ 04/28/2008 4:41:23 PM

    Comment: This is in response to "grandmato3"...GIVE ME A BREAK...So just because I allowed my 8 yr.old to walk less than a mile (I used the word "approximately" a mile...not the same as "exact") to school that CPS should have come and gotten my daughter?? WHAT PLANET do you live on? Yes, because THAT'S what the state should do: yank my little girl out of her home and send her to a state facility because I allowed her to walk to/from school??? Listen, you old biddy...get a life.

  • Posted By: c_shane @ 04/28/2008 4:40:28 PM

    Comment: This is in response to "grandmato3"...GIVE ME A BREAK...So just because I allowed my 8 yr.old to walk less than a mile (I used the word "approximately" a mile...not the same as "exact") to school that CPS should have come and gotten my daughter?? WHAT PLANET do you live on? Yes, because THAT'S what the state should do: yank my little girl out of her home and send her to a state facility because I allowed her to walk to/from school??? Listen, you old biddy...get a life.

  • Posted By: craigmjackson @ 04/28/2008 1:17:10 PM

    Comment: I have 2 kids under 3. I HOPE we have the GUTS to allow our kids independence when they are
    ready. Anything else is just plain BAD PSYCHOLOGY! Let's hope we
    don't get too caught up in the fear we get from being so reminded of
    dangers in the press, even though the world is probably safer than it
    was when we all grew up. Back then we just didn't HEAR about it as
    much.

  • Posted By: cordeliapotter @ 04/28/2008 1:13:29 PM

    Comment: Here is the difference between then and now. 1) Kids are playing in the neighborhood woods. One climbs too far up the tree, falls and breaks his arm. Back then: It was an accident. He should have known not to climb up so far. Now: Where was his mother when he was climbing this tree? Why wasn't he better supervised? 2) Kid is walking home from school and has encounter with weirdo. Back then: People like that weirdo should be arrested! Now: Why was that kid not being driven home from school? Where was his mother? People that irresponsible shouldn't be allowed to be parents! 3) It's cold out and snowy out. Suzy wore her sneakers to school and her feet got cold and wet. Back then: Maybe she'll remember next time to wear her boots. Now: What kind of parent would let her kid go to school on a cold and snowy day in sneakers?
    Get my point? Parents become helicopters because the blame for the harm that could happen to their children is taken away from those doing the harming and is placed on the parents. Everything is now the parents fault. Kid forgets homework. Note comes home from school - parents please help your children remember to bring their homework to school. Now whose fault is it when the kid forgets his homework? In the eyes of the school, it is the parents and you end up feeling like the worst mom in the world because your kid forgot his homework. The media completely fuels this type of guilt.

  • Posted By: zingarakat @ 04/28/2008 1:12:25 PM

    Comment: couldn't our cities be safer now because parents today are more protective??? think about that...i definately think kids should not be coddled, but that statistic has a reason behind it.... and i don't think it's 'cause there are less bad people!!! but, on the flip side, kids these days that don't get the independence that we had are never going to be the leaders that tomarrow's world is going to need!!! we all can only do our best and keep on try'n, nobody is right OR wrong!

  • Posted By: myearth @ 04/28/2008 1:03:03 PM

    Comment: How do you learn independence if you never have any? We walked to school or 1/4 mile to catch the school bus from age 6. We were allowed to range over a 30 acre farm completely unsupervised from the time my older sister was 8 and I was 6. My parents divorced and when we spent summers in the Cincinnati, we were allowed to range the neighborhood and walk to the store. None of us ever had any problems. The danger came from my uncle who was a pedophile.

  • Posted By: myearth @ 04/28/2008 1:01:51 PM

    Comment: We walked to school or 1/4 mile to catch the school bus from age 6. We were allowed to range over a 30 acre farm completely unsupervised from the time my older sister was 8 and I was 6. My parents divorced and when we spent summers in the Cincinnati, we were allowed to range the neighborhood and walk to the store. None of us ever had any problems. The danger came from my uncle who was a pedophile.

  • Posted By: fred54 @ 04/28/2008 11:07:30 AM

    Comment: Kids have to be independent to learn and develop necessary life skills. We don't live in a risk free world nor should we. There have always been risks and there will always be risks. When I was 9 my mother gave me $1 which covered the $.20 return bus trip and $.25 for the movie for my brother and I. I used to take my 5 year old brother. When I was 10 I had a bike that I used to ride for miles with my dog running along beside me. I was that kid whose dog was waiting for him when school let out. We'd explore the "woods" for hours until Supper. I learned how to navigate using the sun, the moss on the north side of the trees and wind direction in those woods. At 13 I spend a month at a boy scout camp where we had to find food in the forest and navigate back to camp by the stars. At 14 my father bought me a gun so I could learn responsible firearm usage. At 15 bought a motorcycle. At 16 a car. At 17 I learned how to fly a plane and traveled to Europe. Because of the trust my parents had in me I've never been afraid to take chances and act independently. Kids are a lot smarter than you think there are. They have to take risks to develop. One of the cruelest
    most self defeating thing you can do to a child is to over protect them.

    Fred in Boston

  • Posted By: capnmoroni @ 04/28/2008 10:59:57 AM

    Comment: This story reminds me of the difference between my upbringing and my brother's. When I was in first grade (22 years ago), my parents gave me bus money every morning and sent me to school on the city bus (I lived too close to the school to ride the school bus). After school, I would pick up my sister from kindergarten and the two of us would walk a mile and a half home. We walked or rode our bikes at least one way to or from school every day until we graduated. When I was nine my parents left me to babysit my three younger sisters for short stretches of time. They made sure I knew how to keep myself and my sisters safe, and gave me the freedom to take responsibility for myself and others. Since then I have lived on my own in Europe, graduated from college and gotten off to a good start in an engineering career.

    By contrast, my brother (nine years younger than me) never walked more than a block to school. He was driven everywhere he needed to go and was provided with everything he needed without ever having to take responsibility or face risks. Since he graduated from high school last year, he has made no effort to find a job, go to college, get a driver's license or even leave my mother's home.

    I ask myself, who was done the disservice? The six year old who was sent to school on public transportation and then walked home with his 5 year old sister, or the child who was protected and cared for every day of his life?

  • Posted By: vnoronha @ 04/28/2008 10:51:07 AM

    Comment: To britegray, grandmato3, pear69 and others:
    I have a simple suggestion to your dilemma. Turn off the TV news and see the world through your own eyes, not the eyes of those who profit from fear-mongering. Now decide what is best for your kids.
    Every child is different but they all appreciate whatever independence they can have, and learn from their mistakes, just like most of us did. Many parents need to leave their children temporarily unsupervised for reasons of necessity. Others do it by choice. Since we do not live in a communist state (last time I looked around) we should be free to make decisions concerning our own kids and not have to face judgements from the vocal minority!!!

  • Posted By: capnmoroni @ 04/28/2008 10:41:20 AM

    Comment: This debate stems largely from a question of perceived risks. The risks associated with letting a child take public transportation seems high. The news tells us that kids are abused and abducted all the time. This is a parent's worst nightmare. Given the prevalence of abduction stories in the news, we may assume that the probability of an abduction is relatively high. It is better to play it safe and keep close tabs on our children.

    However, this argument fails to take into account the risks associated with being overly protective of our children. If we never give our children the freedom they need, they will never become independent, contributing members of society. They may be marginally safer, but their development will be stunted in the process.

    As this article explains, the chances of a child being abducted are a million to one - far less than we have been led to believe. Likewise, you're child is much more likely to be abused or molested by someone you trust than by a stranger. By contrast, the harm done to a child's development by overprotective parents, though less severe than the harm of abuse or abduction, is much more likely to occur.

    In the end, we need to allow parents to make these judgement calls for their children. They know them better than anyone. We as a society need to allow parents to raise their children as they see fit. And we as parents need to make decisions based on the facts and a complete analysis of the risks around us, and not based on fear and alarmism.

    I hope that all made sense.

  • Posted By: capnmoroni @ 04/28/2008 10:36:57 AM

    Comment: This debate stems largely from a question of perceived risks. The risks associated with letting a child take public transportation seems high. The news tells us that kids are abused and abducted all the time. This is a parent's worst nightmare. Given the prevalence of abduction stories in the news, we may assume that the probability of an abduction is relatively high. It is better to play it safe and keep close tabs on our children.

    However, this argument fails to take into account the risks associated with being overly protective of our children. If we never give our children the freedom they need, they will never become independent, contributing members of society. They may be marginally safer, but their development will be stunted in the process.

    As this article explains, the chances of a child being abducted are a million to one - far less than we have been led to believe. Likewise, you're child is much more likely to be abused or molested by someone you trust than by a stranger. By contrast, the harm done to a child's development by overprotective parents, though less severe than the harm of abuse or abduction, is much more likely to occur.

    In the end, we need to allow parents to make these judgement calls for their children. They know them better than anyone. We as a society need to allow parents to raise their children as they see fit. And we as parents need to make decisions based on the facts and a complete analysis of the risks around us, and not based on fear and alarmism.

    I hope that all made sense.

  • Posted By: capnmoroni @ 04/28/2008 10:36:40 AM

    Comment: This debate stems largely from a question of perceived risks. The risks associated with letting a child take public transportation seems high. The news tells us that kids are abused and abducted all the time. This is a parent's worst nightmare. Given the prevalence of abduction stories in the news, we may assume that the probability of an abduction is relatively high. It is better to play it safe and keep close tabs on our children.

    However, this argument fails to take into account the risks associated with being overly protective of our children. If we never give our children the freedom they need, they will never become independent, contributing members of society. They may be marginally safer, but their development will be stunted in the process.

    As this article explains, the chances of a child being abducted are a million to one - far less than we have been led to believe. Likewise, you're child is much more likely to be abused or molested by someone you trust than by a stranger. By contrast, the harm done to a child's development by overprotective parents, though less severe than the harm of abuse or abduction, is much more likely to occur.

    In the end, we need to allow parents to make these judgement calls for their children. They know them better than anyone. We as a society need to allow parents to raise their children as they see fit. And we as parents need to make decisions based on the facts and a complete analysis of the risks around us, and not based on fear and alarmism.

    I hope that all made sense.

  • Posted By: capnmoroni @ 04/28/2008 10:36:29 AM

    Comment: This debate stems largely from a question of perceived risks. The risks associated with letting a child take public transportation seems high. The news tells us that kids are abused and abducted all the time. This is a parent's worst nightmare. Given the prevalence of abduction stories in the news, we may assume that the probability of an abduction is relatively high. It is better to play it safe and keep close tabs on our children.

    However, this argument fails to take into account the risks associated with being overly protective of our children. If we never give our children the freedom they need, they will never become independent, contributing members of society. They may be marginally safer, but their development will be stunted in the process.

    As this article explains, the chances of a child being abducted are a million to one - far less than we have been led to believe. Likewise, you're child is much more likely to be abused or molested by someone you trust than by a stranger. By contrast, the harm done to a child's development by overprotective parents, though less severe than the harm of abuse or abduction, is much more likely to occur.

    In the end, we need to allow parents to make these judgement calls for their children. They know them better than anyone. We as a society need to allow parents to raise their children as they see fit. And we as parents need to make decisions based on the facts and a complete analysis of the risks around us, and not based on fear and alarmism.

    I hope that all made sense.

  • Posted By: Bill Edwards @ 04/28/2008 9:28:19 AM

    Comment: I'm with Ms. Skenazy on this one. Izzy looks like a smart kid, and probably is. Why? Because mom's smart, and knows that her son isn't going to grow up until she lets him grow up.
    CNN, MSN, and all the other Media outlets out there have turned a mole hill into the mountain of all mountains with constant barrages of coverage that would have us believe that an enemy hides outside of every door waiting to pounce upon us and our children.
    Of course, the Village Idiot in Washington, along with all of his right-wing, conservative Christain, Islamaphobic Paranoid friends, and their constant warnings about terristoic threats aren't helping either. They'd have us believe terrorist are lurking in our attics and under the bushes in the yard across the street.
    Ms. Skenazy is teaching all parents a valuable lesson.
    Mom? Dad? You're a lot smarter than you think. If you've spent time with your chilkdren, you know them, and you instinctively know their limitations. You don't need the media to tell you how to raise them. You already know how to do that.
    Sure we live in a world that has changed dramatically from when most of us were kids. I'm 54, and oh ueah, the world has changed. But, it's no more dangerous today than it was 45 years ago when my parents were making me get from point A to point B under my own steam, and back then, keeping in touch meant finding a rotary dial phone in some strangers' house to call home from if anything went wrong.
    Today, the technology that exists allows us to monitor our children in ways my Mother would have loved to have kept track of my ass. It also does it without making the kid feel caged.
    Caged animals rebel. We are part of the animal kingdom.

  • Posted By: zingarakat @ 04/28/2008 9:23:26 AM

    Comment: couldn't our cities be safer now because parents today are more protective??? think about that...i definately think kids should not be coddled, but that statistic has a reason behind it.... and i don't think it's 'cause there are less bad people!!! but, on the flip side, kids these days that don't get the independence that we had are never going to be the leaders that tomarrow's world is going to need!!! we all can only do our best and keep on try'n, nobody is right OR wrong!

  • Posted By: zingarakat @ 04/28/2008 9:22:40 AM

    Comment: couldn't our cities be safer now because parents today are more protective??? think about that...i definately think kids should not be coddled, but that statistic has a reason behind it.... and i don't think it's 'cause there are less bad people!!! but, on the flip side, kids these days that don't get the independence that we had are never going to be the leaders that tomarrow's world is going to need!!! we all can only do our best and keep on try'n, nobody is right OR wrong!

  • Posted By: zingarakat @ 04/28/2008 9:22:27 AM

    Comment: couldn't our cities be safer now because parents today are more protective??? think about that...i definately think kids should not be coddled, but that statistic has a reason behind it.... and i don't think it's 'cause there are less bad people!!! but, on the flip side, kids these days that don't get the independence that we had are never going to be the leaders that tomarrow's world is going to need!!! we all can only do our best and keep on try'n, nobody is right OR wrong!

  • Posted By: zingarakat @ 04/28/2008 9:22:13 AM

    Comment: couldn't our cities be safer now because parents today are more protective??? think about that...i definately think kids should not be coddled, but that statistic has a reason behind it.... and i don't think it's 'cause there are less bad people!!! but, on the flip side, kids these days that don't get the independence that we had are never going to be the leaders that tomarrow's world is going to need!!! we all can only do our best and keep on try'n, nobody is right OR wrong!

  • Posted By: zingarakat @ 04/28/2008 9:18:55 AM

    Comment: couldn't our cities be safer now because parents today are more protective??? think about that...i definately think kids should not be coddled, but that statistic has a reason behind it.... and i don't think it's 'cause there are less bad people!!! but, on the flip side, kids these days that don't get the independence that we had are never going to be the leaders that tomarrow's world is going to need!!!

  • Posted By: SaraMorgan @ 04/28/2008 9:06:59 AM

    Comment: Absolutley this Mom was right. No one can ever suceed without failing and certainly not without trying .There is definitley a problem with the way people are over protecting their children these days. It is an outrage and I hope Mom's like this one encourage more people to lighten up on the reigns.

  • Posted By: Phestious @ 04/28/2008 8:03:55 AM

    Comment: My partner has "helicopter parents" and daily life is sometimes a struggle. He is 22 years old and being together for 2 yrs already; there are times where I am totally surprised by his dependency needs. Even though he consistantly tries to distance himself from his parents (us in NY, them in FL); they still seem to find a way to control/attempt to control him. Often times I have become a parent, this sometimes is very exhausting.

  • Posted By: Jennifer1313 @ 04/28/2008 7:24:42 AM

    Comment: I think that this was a wonderful thing and more parents need to LET GO! I was walking to school from kindergarden on up. I think that it does teach independence, time management, how to know directions, read street signs, and etc... We are soo I think that this was a wonderful thing and more parents need to LET GO! I was walking to school from kindergarden on up. I think that it does teach independence, time management, how to know directions, read street signs, and etc... We are soo scared about everything now; germs, people, animals, independence... that when the kids finally come to me in college they go absolutely wild with parties, drinking, tattoos, sex, and drugs because they were not taught how to say no- their parents said no always for them.
    Yes they have to ask a stranger a question but as we read in the article it is usually never the stranger it is someone they know.... Shouldn't we be more worried about that statistic then them asking a stranger which stop is Broad St? Kids need to learn these type of things at a young age because, when do you want them to learn? At age 18? Now a days they grow up so fast and we have to catch them at a young age and start teaching them because if we wait to long we will have to undo a lot of damage that could have been prevented. It should be called preventive parenting! Keep on doing it because I will do it with my kids.
    scared about everything now, germs, independence that when I finally get the kids in college they go absolutely wild with parties, drinking, tattoos, sex, and drugs because they were not taught how to say no- their parents said no always for them.
    Yes they have to ask a stranger a question but as we read in the article it is usually never the stranger it is someone they know.... Shouldn't we be more worried about that statistic then them asking a stranger which stop is Broad St? Kids need to learn these type of things at a young age because, when do you want them to learn? At age 18? Now a days they grow up so fast and we have to catch them at a young age and start teaching them because if we wait to long we will have to undo a lot of damage that could have been prevented. It should be called preventive parenting! Keep on doing it because I will do it with my kids.

  • Posted By: Kirsten68 @ 04/28/2008 5:34:46 AM

    Comment: I am amazed at all this. Here in Europe, even grade school kids use our public transportation
    system (buses, streetcars, subways) to go to and from school everyday. There aren't any
    school buses . In fact, in Vienna, Austria
    they are issued free transporation passes. They do travel alone. I think your society in America is
    in a sad state of affairs if your public system is that dangerous that kids can't even use it.

  • Posted By: pear69 @ 04/28/2008 5:30:59 AM

    Comment: Consider this, If this 9 year old is normal he is naturaly curious--what if he has a question about something while he is on the subway--who is there to answer it--a stranger. What if an emergency occurs-- who is there--a stranger. When I was 9 the world was a dirrerent place and I am sure that when Lenora Skenazy was 9 it was different also--or she was /or/ is too messed up to realize. In my opinion leaving a 9 year old to fend for him self on a subway is an example of IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTING! I do believe that children need to be givin' more freedom as they get older but this is just wrong--no matter when or where you grew up!

  • Posted By: pear69 @ 04/28/2008 5:30:53 AM

    Comment: Consider this, If this 9 year old is normal he is naturaly curious--what if he has a question about something while he is on the subway--who is there to answer it--a stranger. What if an emergency occurs-- who is there--a stranger. When I was 9 the world was a dirrerent place and I am sure that when Lenora Skenazy was 9 it was different also--or she was /or/ is too messed up to realize. In my opinion leaving a 9 year old to fend for him self on a subway is an example of IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTING! I do believe that children need to be givin' more freedom as they get older but this is just wrong--no matter when or where you grew up!

  • Posted By: pear69 @ 04/28/2008 5:30:42 AM

    Comment: Consider this, If this 9 year old is normal he is naturaly curious--what if he has a question about something while he is on the subway--who is there to answer it--a stranger. What if an emergency occurs-- who is there--a stranger. When I was 9 the world was a dirrerent place and I am sure that when Lenora Skenazy was 9 it was different also--or she was /or/ is too messed up to realize. In my opinion leaving a 9 year old to fend for him self on a subway is an example of IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTING! I do believe that children need to be givin' more freedom as they get older but this is just wrong--no matter when or where you grew up!

  • Posted By: pear69 @ 04/28/2008 5:19:43 AM

    Comment: Consider this, a 9 year old is naturaly curious--who is there to answer a curious question he may have--a total stranger--is that good? What if some type of emergency occured-- who is there to help this 9 year old--a stranger--is that good? When most of you were 9 years old the world was a different place--ya know what I mean. Maybe Lenora Skenazy was or is too messed up to realize this. In my opinion leaving a 9 year old to fend for him or her self in a public place, at any time is a clear example of IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTING! Don't get me wrong, I think giving a child freedom is good but at 9 years old I think this is too much--especialy in a subway!

  • Posted By: Kirsten68 @ 04/28/2008 5:18:42 AM

    Comment: I am amazed at all this. Here in Europe, even grade school kids use our public transportation
    system (buses, streetcars, subways) to go to and from school everyday. There aren't any
    school buses . In fact, in Vienna, Austria
    they are issued free transporation passes. They do travel alone. I think your society in America is
    in a sad state of affairs if your public system is that dangerous that kids can't even use it.

  • Posted By: cityartist @ 04/28/2008 4:58:56 AM

    Comment: I think we are missing the point here, perhaps, by opting for one 'side" or the other: there is no denying that we live in a society that poses threats to our children, but perhaps the greatest threat is the habit that very society has developed, in no longer feeling responsible - as a collective - for those children. We have indemnified ourselves from all but our most immeidate responsibilities, believing that everything outside our front door is not our concern, but someone else's: If we throw a cigarette out of our car window, it is someone else's forest fire; if we drop an empty plastic water bottle down the storm drain, it is someone else's polluted ocean; if we don't listen to and watch the people around us - on the bus, on the subway, in the supermarket - it is someone else's abducted child...We cannot deny the reailities of today's world, but the way to deal with these threats is not by locking ourselves from their access, but rather by forcing them out of our communities, through our own involvement, through sharing responsibility for our kids, and for opening our eyes a little wider than this accusatory squinting that seems to be the national pastime in a nation that currently has no right to point accusing fingers.

  • Posted By: JenJen2320 @ 04/28/2008 4:45:57 AM

    Comment: I think that it is wonderful that she feels safe enough to allow her child to ride NYC's public transportation system by himself. I also think that it is wonderful that her child is ok with it. I grew up in NYC, Manhattan to be exact, and I remember riding the trains, subways, buses, and taxis by myself when I was in 3rd grade. My parents would tell me which bus to get on, where it would connect at and then what other bus(es) to take to get home from school or the library, oir Central Park. So, the moral to this story is to allow your child to have a little bit of breathing room. Your children will learn from their mistakes.

  • Posted By: Kirsten68 @ 04/28/2008 4:35:19 AM

    Comment: I am amazed at all this. Here in Europe, even grade school kids use our public transportation
    system (buses, streetcars, subways) to go to and from school everyday. There aren't any
    school buses . In fact, in Vienna, Austria
    they are issued free transporation passes. They do travel alone. I think your society in America is
    in a sad state of affairs if your public system is that dangerous that kids can't even use it.

  • Posted By: Bob927 @ 04/28/2008 4:34:43 AM

    Comment: Yes there are bad people in this world who would do us and our children harm. But I don't think that there are any more of them than there has been in the past. Thanks to the media we simply hear more often about the bad things happening out there. It's all about FEAR. They say sex sells, well so does fear, esp for the news media and politicians. Now we're all afraid to let our kids do things that we wouldn't have given a second thought to doing ourselves.

  • Posted By: K_Mercado20 @ 04/28/2008 3:49:05 AM

    Comment: I understand it is an everyday occurence in NYC for children to take public transportation. In Miami, children take the public bus all the time. Do I agree with a parent letting a 9 year old go by themself? Absolutely not. I am 21 and was allowed a lot of freedom. And in my short 21 years someone tried to kidnap me from a McDonald's (while my mom was in line and I was at a table), someone has tried to molest me (in the parking lot in front of my house while my mom was inside working), and I have been stabbed (in front of my job at 3:00 pm). So, it is wonderful to be trusting and allow kids to go by themselves, however, the world is not a friendly place and we are in a time where snatching a child has become too easy. My mother worked and raised 4 of us and we didnt ride public transportation alone. If one is too busy to ensure the safety of their child then one needs to change their priorities. In today's violent times, parents need to be less naive, and this is coming from what most readers would call a child.

  • Posted By: CopWifeSpokane @ 04/28/2008 3:40:32 AM

    Comment: I can't believe people have called this woman "the worst mom in America"! How ridiculous! Kids need to be independent if they are going to grow up to be functioning adults. My coworker has three kids all over the age of 20 who still live at home. She even cooks their meals, washes their dirty clothes, and drives them to work! Give me a break. What's the point of having kids if you want them to grow up to be completely dysfunctional and unable to handle day to day life as a real grown up? Time to heave ho!

  • Posted By: affeaques @ 04/28/2008 2:47:19 AM

    Comment: I'm from Brooklyn, I'm born and raised (in case you didn't know it's a part of NYC). Where I come from kids take the train and bus from school all the time. This would be hard to understand from a suburban point of view where kids may walk to school or have rides or have school buses. I personally started taking public transportation by myself when I was 10. And they issue free or reduce cost train fare to students. So this phenomena is not a new occurrence. It happens all the time in New York City.

  • Posted By: affeaques @ 04/28/2008 2:46:31 AM

    Comment: I'm from Brooklyn, I'm born and raised (in case you didn't know it's a part of NYC). Where I come from kids take the train and bus from school all the time. This would be hard to understand from a suburban point of view where kids may walk to school or have rides or have school buses. I personally started taking public transportation by myself when I was 10. And they issue free or reduce cost train fare to students. So this phenomena is not a new occurrence. It happens all the time in New York City.

  • Posted By: agent_008_chico @ 04/28/2008 2:30:52 AM

    Comment: Oh please mothers and fathers of America, give me a break. At age of six I walked from school to my house; I lived in Brooklyn, N.Y At age 11 I was walking the same streets when visiting my bio father and get this, I did the train all by myself. When I didn't visit my biological father I was growing up in Puerto Rico, in a crime ridden area where the cops aren't worth a dimeof wages.( if you visit the island lately you would know what I mean). The more you shelter a kid in their youth the more naive and higher propensity in becoming a victim when they become adults. One big issue I see among our American society is the fact that we don't hold kids responsible for their own actions. I know that if I did wrong I not only would be grounded but I would receive my mother's wrath; mother's slipper in the rear end and a combined arms verbal sermon assault with all the letters of the alphabet it was scarier than any jail I could be put in if I did anything wrong or any assailant who may try to do me wrong. ( I would be asking God to call 911 and have someone arrest me or begging the devil to have one of his eveil creatures murder me; LMAO) You need to let your kids know where they stand and if they forget remind them in waythey will never forget and don't feel bad about it.( If you want to know how that is done I will gladly schedule you a session with my mother but, I am not responsible for your psychological trauma. ROLMAO) Good job on teaching your kid how to fend for himself!


    Leonardo Jerez

  • Posted By: agent_008_chico @ 04/28/2008 2:27:04 AM

    Comment: Oh please mothers and fathers of America, give me a break. At age of six I walked from school to my house; I lived in Brooklyn, N.Y At age 11 I was walking the same streets when visiting my bio father and get this, I did the train all by myself. When I didn't visit my biological father I was growing up in Puerto Rico, in a crime ridden area where the cops aren't worth a dimeof wages.( if you visit the island lately you would know what I mean). The more you shelter a kid in their youth the more naive and higher propensity in becoming a victim when they become adults. One big issue I see among our American society is the fact that we don't hold kids responsible for their own actions. I know that if I did wrong I not only would be grounded but I would receive my mother's wrath; mother's slipper in the rear end and a combined arms verbal sermon assault with all the letters of the alphabet it was scarier than any jail I could be put in if I did anything wrong or any assailant who may try to do me wrong. ( I would be asking God to call 911 and have someone arrest me or begging the devil to have one of his eveil creatures murder me; LMAO) You need to let your kids know where they stand and if they forget remind them in waythey will never forget and don't feel bad about it.( If you want to know how that is done I will gladly schedule you a session with my mother but, I am not responsible for your psychological trauma. ROLMAO) Good job on teaching your kid how to fend for himself!


    Leonardo Jerez

  • Posted By: LiveInChina @ 04/28/2008 2:22:30 AM

    Comment: I recall that when I was growing up in Chicago, both my parents had to work to make ends meet. So every day I went to school alone.. well actually all of the kids in the neighborhood walked to school together.. No one ever was injuried, except for some horseplay.. to give the kids some freedom.. but stll be watchful

  • Posted By: mister D @ 04/28/2008 2:17:30 AM

    Comment: Give this woman a break...I'm 18 years old, when I was about 11 I made a sports club, with about 50 members that I saw ones every week. when I was 15 I worked as a teeacher for two weeks, in a form of career development group, and I quickly got the reputation as the most popular teacher in the school. At the age og 16 I took one year as an exchange student in the US, and now I'm going to a business college. I've been going to school on my own, ever since I started on it, and when I was 5 I took the airplane on my own for the first time, to go visit my grandmom in spain. really taking the subway isn't that hard, and I'm sure that kid knew what he was doing...Yes I know that the world might have gotten alot more violent, but does it help locking up your kids dictating them, and then send them out in a world that they never knew excisted once they turn 18??? I'd rather teach them in proportions that it is a dangerous world out there, so that they are ready for it once they have to be on their own. because they have to at some time, you can't keep'em locked up for ever!!!

  • Posted By: agent_008_chico @ 04/28/2008 2:14:01 AM

    Comment: Oh plese mothers and fathers of America, give me a break. At age of six I walked from school to my house; I lived in Brooklyn, N.Y At age 11 I was walking the same streets when visiting my bio father and get this, I did the train all by myself. I grew up in Puerto Rico, in a crime ridden area where the cops aren't worth their wages.( if you visit there lately you would know what I mean). There more you shelter a kid in their youth the more naive and higher propensity in becoming a victim when they become adults. One big issue I see among our American society is the fact that we don't hold kids responsible for their own actions. I know that if I did wrong I not only will I be grounded but I woud receive my wrath; mother's slipper in the rear end and her verbal sermon assaulted with all the letters of the alphabet was scarier than any jail I could face if I did anything wrong or any assailant who may try to do me wrong. You need to let your kids know where they stand and if they forget remind them in the harshest way you can and not feel bad about it.( If you want to know how that is done I will gladly schedule you a session with my mother but, I am not responsible for your psychological trauma. ROLMAO)

    Leonardo Jerez

  • Posted By: Fictional @ 04/28/2008 2:11:24 AM

    Comment: Warning: Long rant, might hurt your eyes.

    All right, I am going to start out with two examples.
    The first example is of a mother who tried to protect her daughter from every little thing in the world and what happened to her.

    The mother literally tried to protect her daughter from EVERYTHING in the world. She monitored the music she listened to, she monitored every bite of food she took, she crossed the street with this girl until she was eighteen and even went into the loo with her until she was sixteen. She was not exposed to other children until her mother did a background check on each of them to be sure that it was okay, and when she tried joining outside activites her mother followed her there. She was homeschooled her whole life so that everything could be easily monitored.
    This poor girl was trapped and suffocated. Any chance she got, she would disobey and take advantage of her mother to gain the few ounces of freedom she could. When she turned eighteen she left the house to go for University and do you know what she found? She discovered that she didn't understand how a lot of the world worked. Her mother was no longer there to drive her around or to do all the other things she had, and so she got a huge culture shock.
    Eventually the girl settled in, but it took her a long time and she was used very easily by her peers.

    Example two isn't as extreme as example one and it is shorter, but it gets the message across.

    Okay, so in example two we find a mother who isn't completely overbearing but just enough that she wants to keep her daughter safe. She is careful, at first, to keep a close eye on her daughter. However, she does not baby her and continues to allow her to grow at a steady rate. She was able to ride the public buses as soon as her mother felt she was able to communicate and could easily stay safe. She and her husband rode the bus the first few times with their daughter, but then they let her go. As she continued to get older she was given more and more responsibility, expected to become an adult and make her own choises.
    She was sent off to boarding school for her sixth form years and while some of her friends got drunk, she managed to make the right decision. Or, at least, that's what she told her mum.

    Those are actual cases, fairly extreme... but I just want to point out that the more trust you put in someone the more trust they will return to you in the end.

  • Posted By: Fictional @ 04/28/2008 2:11:00 AM

    Comment: Warning: Long rant, might hurt your eyes.

    All right, I am going to start out with two examples.
    The first example is of a mother who tried to protect her daughter from every little thing in the world and what happened to her.

    The mother literally tried to protect her daughter from EVERYTHING in the world. She monitored the music she listened to, she monitored every bite of food she took, she crossed the street with this girl until she was eighteen and even went into the loo with her until she was sixteen. She was not exposed to other children until her mother did a background check on each of them to be sure that it was okay, and when she tried joining outside activites her mother followed her there. She was homeschooled her whole life so that everything could be easily monitored.
    This poor girl was trapped and suffocated. Any chance she got, she would disobey and take advantage of her mother to gain the few ounces of freedom she could. When she turned eighteen she left the house to go for University and do you know what she found? She discovered that she didn't understand how a lot of the world worked. Her mother was no longer there to drive her around or to do all the other things she had, and so she got a huge culture shock.
    Eventually the girl settled in, but it took her a long time and she was used very easily by her peers.

    Example two isn't as extreme as example one and it is shorter, but it gets the message across.

    Okay, so in example two we find a mother who isn't completely overbearing but just enough that she wants to keep her daughter safe. She is careful, at first, to keep a close eye on her daughter. However, she does not baby her and continues to allow her to grow at a steady rate. She was able to ride the public buses as soon as her mother felt she was able to communicate and could easily stay safe. She and her husband rode the bus the first few times with their daughter, but then they let her go. As she continued to get older she was given more and more responsibility, expected to become an adult and make her own choises.
    She was sent off to boarding school for her sixth form years and while some of her friends got drunk, she managed to make the right decision. Or, at least, that's what she told her mum.

    Those are actual cases, fairly extreme... but I just want to point out that the more trust you put in someone the more trust they will return to you in the end.

  • Posted By: Fictional @ 04/28/2008 1:51:33 AM

    Comment: If people don't trust their kids, all they are going to get back is rebellion in later years. I've known people that gave their kids almost free reign and you know what? They went out and did everything the way a parent might hope it to happen. Sure, they might have gotten into a mishap or two... but if you keep your children padlocked their whole lives then what are they going to learn about the world? The only thing you are doing is setting your child up for failure, and maybe even being afraid for the rest of their lives.
    One mother I knew wouldn't let her child leave the house, even with supervision, until she was sixteen. She wasn't allowed to ride the bus systems, talk to her friends, anything. Her mother even went into the bathroom with her until she was seventeen, to make sure everything was alright. That little girl went behind her mother's back as often as she could, why? Because that was the only way she could ever enjoy herself.

    In todays world, we just don't turst people enough. You know, there's probably only one person in the world that would want to hurt you on purpose... and that's yourself. By being afraid, we are teaching the future generations to watch their shadows to be sure they won't jump out at us and eat us suddenly.

    Honestly, I believe that the more trust we have in people the better. There is always the possibility that there will be someone out there who is mean and will jsut tear us down right away... but why spend our lives afraid of that one person when they may never come along?

    That's all I really need to say... I suppose I can be done ranting now.

  • Posted By: bigk22 @ 04/28/2008 1:48:16 AM

    Comment: I grew up in New York City and have been taking the subway by myself since I was eight.....I'm now thirty-two. Back in the 80's New York was much worse. Times Square was filled with porn and prostitutes and crack viles littered every concrete playground. Even then it was ok to let kids ride the subway. Those who cry foul have never lived in a city and watch far too much news that tells them the world worse than it is. New York is just as safe as most suburbs and kids there are more than savy enough to deal with something as simple as riding the subway by themselves. And despite what people believe New Yorkers may turn a blind eye to somethings but a kid will always be watched over by adults that are around them.

    • Posted By: Necrophageon @ 04/28/2008 02:36:19

      Comment: Here, here! 1000 points to the man with some sense!

  • Posted By: Kirsten68 @ 04/28/2008 1:37:08 AM

    Comment: I am amazed at all this. Here in Europe, even grade school kids use our public transportation
    system (buses, streetcars, subways) to go to and from school everyday. There aren't any
    school buses . In fact, in Vienna, Austria
    they are issued free transporation passes. They do travel alone. I think your society in America is
    in a sad state of affairs if your public system is that dangerous that kids can't even use it.

  • Posted By: forgetit @ 04/28/2008 1:26:47 AM

    Comment: Whoa, I cannot believe how paranoid so many people these days. Some of these comments really scare me. most ot,the most sqrewed up people I've met in ife are the ones who had over-protective, paranoid, nutso parents. Or they had the opposite, parents who didn;t care and didn't teach them anything in the way of judgements. Look at your own life, are you scared of everything? if so, please don't make your kids like you, the world doesn't need anymore paranoid androids.

  • Posted By: Kirsten68 @ 04/28/2008 1:25:10 AM

    Comment: I am amazed at all this. Here in Europe, even grade school kids use our public transportation
    system (buses, streetcars, subways) to go to and from school everyday. There aren't any
    school buses . In fact, in Vienna, Austria
    they are issued free transporation passes. They do travel alone. I think your society in America is
    in a sad state of affairs if your public system is that dangerous that kids can't even use it.

  • Posted By: Kirsten68 @ 04/28/2008 1:24:45 AM

    Comment: I am amazed at all this. Here in Europe, even grade school kids use our public transportation
    system (buses, streetcars, subways) to go to and from school everyday. There aren't any
    school buses . In fact, in Vienna, Austria
    they are issued free transporation passes. They do travel alone. I think your society in America is
    in a sad state of affairs if your public system is that dangerous that kids can't even use it.

  • Posted By: Kirsten68 @ 04/28/2008 1:21:26 AM

    Comment: Here in Europe, even grade school kids use the public transportation system (buses, subways, streetcars) as the
    normal method to get to and from school. In Vienna, Austria, they are issued free passes to do just that.
    If your public transporation is that dangerous, you need to take some lessons from us on the other side of the ocean.

  • Posted By: z28freak @ 04/28/2008 1:20:44 AM

    Comment: I don't see what the big deal is. I'm 21, but I remember when I was younger my mother was always gone to work before I even woke up, and this was in elementary school. I walked to school everyday from 1st to 6th grade until I had to go to Junior High and it was quite a bit more of a walk. I never had any problems with people walking to school, and neither did any of my friends. I think it's a good thing she let her kid out on his own. It shows him what the real world is like instead of being held tight in a parent's grasp everywhere he went. Good for you, I can honestly say I'm happy that someone is standing up for what they believe in, instead of conforming to the idea that parents have to know where their kid is at all times. You can use the argument that I am only 21, but I do have a daughter of my own that is only two years old, so I do know what it's like to worry about your own child

  • Posted By: Nodofhaiti @ 04/28/2008 1:18:10 AM

    Comment: Thank God this child got home safe and it is certainly not recommended for ANYONE to do so because I have seen too much in the NY subways for the past 20 Years. I do understand Skenady wanting to make son learning how to be independent, it is a great thing but, this life we are living now with from psychos to terrorism, you never know what will really happen to your child and that will be too bad it you not around. Let's say that same kid was in the street that morning of Sept. 11th and mom thought it was okay to go home by himself and all over sudden the Twin Towers get attacked and BOOOM then what will an innocent child do exactly in a situation like that when everyone would be running away from the tragedy. We are certainly right for teaching our kids how to be independent, smart but we must be more concerned about their safety and protect them as much as we possibly can because, there is one thing you don't want live with forever "regret" for not making the right decision and little ones need to have maximum possible protection.

    • Posted By: lallen08 @ 05/01/2008 08:35:07

      Comment: And what if he was in the car with you that morning and BOOM you get hit by a semi and he's squashed. Much more likely scenario.

  • Posted By: Nodofhaiti @ 04/28/2008 1:17:48 AM

    Comment: Thank God this child got home safe. I do understand Skenady wanting to make son learning how to be independent, it is a great thing but, this life we are living now with from psychos to terrorism, you never know what will really happen to your child and that will be too bad it you not around. Let's say that same kid was in the street that morning of Sept. 11th an dmom tought it was okay to go home by himself and all over sudden, BOOOM then what will that innocent child do when everyone would be running away from the mess. We certainly right for teaching our kids how to be independent but we must be more concern about their safety and protect them as much as we practically can because, we don't to feel sorry afterward.

  • Posted By: Nodofhaiti @ 04/28/2008 1:16:06 AM

    Comment: Thank God this child got home safe and it is certainly not recommended for ANYONE to do so because I have seen too much in the NY subways for the past 20 Years. I do understand Skenady wanting to make son learning how to be independent, it is a great thing but, this life we are living now with from psychos to terrorism, you never know what will really happen to your child and that will be too bad it you not around. Let's say that same kid was in the street that morning of Sept. 11th and mom thought it was okay to go home by himself and all over sudden the Twin Towers get attacked and BOOOM then what will an innocent child do exactly in a situation like that when everyone would be running away from the tragedy. We are certainly right for teaching our kids how to be independent, smart but we must be more concerned about their safety and protect them as much as we possibly can because, there is one thing you don't want live with forever "regret" for not making the right decision and little ones need to have maximum possible protection.

  • Posted By: Nodofhaiti @ 04/28/2008 1:15:58 AM

    Comment: Thank God this child got home safe and it is certainly not recommended for ANYONE to do so because I have seen too much in the NY subways for the past 20 Years. I do understand Skenady wanting to make son learning how to be independent, it is a great thing but, this life we are living now with from psychos to terrorism, you never know what will really happen to your child and that will be too bad it you not around. Let's say that same kid was in the street that morning of Sept. 11th and mom thought it was okay to go home by himself and all over sudden the Twin Towers get attacked and BOOOM then what will an innocent child do exactly in a situation like that when everyone would be running away from the tragedy. We are certainly right for teaching our kids how to be independent, smart but we must be more concerned about their safety and protect them as much as we possibly can because, there is one thing you don't want live with forever "regret" for not making the right decision and little ones need to have maximum possible protection.

  • Posted By: Nodofhaiti @ 04/28/2008 1:03:11 AM

    Comment: Thank God this child got home safe. I do understand Skenady wanting to make son learning how to be independent, it is a great thing but, this life we are living now with from psychos to terrorism, you never know what will really happen to your child and that will be too bad it you not around. Let's say that same kid was in the street that morning of Sept. 11th an dmom tought it was okay to go home by himself and all over sudden, BOOOM then what will that innocent child do when everyone would be running away from the mess. We certainly right for teaching our kids how to be independent but we must be more concern about their safety and protect them as much as we practically can because, we don't to feel sorry afterward.

  • Posted By: epynephrin @ 04/28/2008 1:02:11 AM

    Comment: A child at 10 or 11 is just as susceptible to being talked into things as a 18- or 21-year-old, does that mean we should stop letting college kids roam the city free-range and with not supervision? By no means. Yes, not all children can handle the freedom that this kid's been given, but far, far too many parents are protecting their children against paper tigers and invisible monsters. Give a kid an iPod and a cell phone, and most people on the train will ignore him or her. In fact, given the state of paranoia that currently exists, other passengers on the train would probably look out for the kid, and protect him/her from perceived dangers.

    Predators do exist, but if we look at statistics, they aren't more prevalent than they were 20-30 years ago, they're simply better publicized. If there is an increase in the actual number of cases, it's probably because the population has increased from 20-30 years ago. While Fox News is great at spamming the airwaves with all of the latest cases--better known as "blowing things ridiculously out of proportion"--but are terrible at keeping perspective: There are billions of people in the world, and most of us are relatively normal.

  • Posted By: brantnjl @ 04/28/2008 12:57:06 AM

    Comment: I completely agree with "free-range" parenting when, as the article says, the child has been regularly exposed to that type of parenting throughout their life. I started taking my daughter on the bus when she was one, and talking about everything as we went... not because I have to but because I want her to know how to make it on her own. I know that I'll have to build up to that, which means exposing her early. I was always very proud that my mother gave me all the skills I needed to survive. Knowing how to get around, who to go to for help, where to get a free meal... I never did without anything I needed in life, but my mother made sure that I never would, even if she didn't provide it to me. Knowing that you can make it gives you security and security comes right after physiological need in the Maslow's hierarchy...

  • Posted By: b19coupe @ 04/28/2008 12:56:32 AM

    Comment: Certainly giving your child responsibility and trusting his/her judgment is noble and admirable. Teaching your child to make smart and informed choices is your job as a parent. No, there is not a pedophile behind every bush nor lurking in every dark alley. However, to assume that your child will be safe in a world full of very real dangers is naive and irresponsible. There is a happy medium between letting your unsupervised five year old walk a mile to kindergarten and wiping your teenager's backside for him.

  • Posted By: b19coupe @ 04/28/2008 12:56:01 AM

    Comment: Certainly giving your child responsibility and trusting his/her judgment is noble and admirable. Teaching your child to make smart and informed choices is your job as a parent. No, there is not a pedophile behind every bush nor lurking in every dark alley. However, to assume that your child will be safe in a world full of very real dangers is naive and irresponsible. Too many parents know how truly vicious this world can be to the unwary. There is a happy medium between letting your unsupervised five year old walk a mile to kindergarten and wiping your teenager's backside for him.

  • Posted By: b19coupe @ 04/28/2008 12:55:18 AM

    Comment: Certainly giving your child responsibility and trusting his/her judgment is noble and admirable. Teaching your child to make smart and informed choices is your job as a parent. No, there is not a pedophile behind every bush nor lurking in every dark alley. However, to assume that your child will be safe in a world full of very real dangers is naive and irresponsible. Too many parents know how truly vicious this world can be to the unwary. There is a happy medium between letting your unsupervised five year old walk a mile to kindergarten and wiping your teenager's backside for him.

  • Posted By: temre @ 04/28/2008 12:49:09 AM

    Comment: It comes down to child development. A child at age 10-11 years old, can still be tricked, talked in to things out smarted by predetors. We as parents must protect them for those situation. There are ways to allow for independence without risking their safety, riding the metro alone at age 10-11 is not one of them. Times are different.

  • Posted By: b19coupe @ 04/28/2008 12:48:01 AM

    Comment: Certainly giving your child responsibility and trusting his/her judgment is noble and admirable. Teaching your child to make smart and informed choices is your job as a parent. No, there is not a pedophile behind every bush nor lurking in every dark alley. However, to assume that your child will be safe in a world full of very real dangers is naive and irresponsible. There is a happy medium between letting your unsupervised five year old walk a mile to kindergarten and wiping your teenager's backside for him.

  • Posted By: mkroggasch @ 04/28/2008 12:26:24 AM

    Comment: I'm a 19 year old woman who was given a large amount of freedom by mother, from being left alone as young as 5. Everyone parents differently. I was a mature child who was comfratable walking around my town by myself as well as going to parks and going grocery shopping by myself at 12 years old. It depends on the child, or teen. Bad things happen all the time, whether you are a teenager by yourself or an adult.

  • Posted By: cpainter20 @ 04/28/2008 12:15:23 AM

    Comment: I am a driver/nanny for a 13 year old girl. I have been with her since she was ten. Even though she goes to school only blocks away from where she lives, I would not want her to walk home from school. There are too many crazies out there. I don't mind her being home alone, going to the mall with friends, and so on and so forth. But there is a reason why I am employed by her parents, to see her safely home...Although, not every parent has the luxury of being able to pay someone weekly to watch their kid, I can see the necessity of having a child ride the bus or the subway. I personally think that parents shouldn't "hover" but I don't think that they should give their kid too much leash either.

  • Posted By: Sassi_1987 @ 04/27/2008 11:55:59 PM

    Comment: Congratulations on raising a responsible son! It sounds like he is perfectly capable of getting home safely, and I am proud of you for allowing him to ride the train alone.

  • Posted By: Mantika @ 04/27/2008 11:52:34 PM

    Comment: From 1st grade on I walked to school and home everyday...the only reason my sons road a bus is that the school was too far to walk. I see nothing wrong with what this woman allowed her son to do. It's the children that are overly protected that seem to fall to illness and even worse and I truly believe its do to the parent that hovers over them with a wash cloth and cough syrup, doesn't allow them to grow and learn because they are always right there making the decisions for them rather than simply guiding and advising them and allowing them to make their own decisions. Children today are definatly over protected.

  • Posted By: Mantika @ 04/27/2008 11:52:09 PM

    Comment: From 1st grade on I walked to school and home everyday...the only reason my sons road a bus is that the school was too far to walk. I see nothing wrong with what this woman allowed her son to do. It's the children that are overly protected that seem to fall to illness and even worse and I truly believe its do to the parent that hovers over them with a wash cloth and cough syrup, doesn't allow them to grow and learn because they are always right there making the decisions for them rather than simply guiding and advising them and allowing them to make their own decisions. Children today are definatly over protected.

  • Posted By: lovable_nun @ 04/27/2008 11:39:03 PM

    Comment: whats the big deal? Your kids can be kidnapped waiting for you to pick them up from school. I caught public transportation when I was in the 3rd grade, my sister was in the fourth, and my lil brother was in kindergarten. Our mother had to work very hard so she couldn't afford to take us to and from school. Our mother taught us the bus routes and we knew to use the crossing guards and not to talk or accept rides from strangers. All I can say is that I wish that we got dropped to school at times but it also taught us responsibilities. My nephew is now in the third grade and lives four blocks away from his school. He's been walking to school since the middle of second grade. It all depends on the mautrity level of your kids. I know some kids that are older than my nephew that I would not walk or catch public transportation but thats because their not responsibile partially because their parents do everything for them. Everyone should try giving their kids some more things to do on their own.....I'm not saying to let them walk to school or take public trans but don't make them so dependent on you.....

    • Posted By: St. Louis Mother @ 04/28/2008 12:44:36

      Comment: No, it doesn't depend on the maturity of your kids ... and it has nothing to do with where you live. As a reporter, I covered stories of kids abducted in cities ... small towns ... and rural areas. And in almost all of those cases, the kids were considered "street smart" by their parents. In fact, I think those kids -- and I was one of them -- are even more at risk because a so-called "mature" kid usually feels more comfortable talking to adults they don't know. I know that when I was that age -- walking home from school by myself, etc., - I had an outrageously false sense of confidence about my abilities to handle a scary situation. The bottom liine is, you are a CHILD. You don't know one-tenth of what you think you know. And once you have your own precious children, you will feel sick at the risks you took when YOU were a child. And all this talk about the media over-hyping and statistical probabilities is ridiculous. What does it matter if the chances of something happening are one-in-a-million ... if your child turns out to be the one???

  • Posted By: lovable_nun @ 04/27/2008 11:38:09 PM

    Comment: whats the big deal? Your kids can be kidnapped waiting for you to pick them up from school. I caught public transportation when I was in the 3rd grade, my sister was in the fourth