You Need to Fall to Rise

Paris would survive the ordeal. But from that point on we would no longer enable him in any way. And after a five-year battle, complete with relapses, alienation, hitting his "bottom," a final trip to rehab, family therapy and sheer determination on his part, Paris is now a sober young man.

He looks great, and his passion for life grows daily. He is playing his music with newfound power and precision. He is dedicated to his 12-step program, and working with the MusiCares Foundation, which provides recovery for the music community, in Los Angeles. He has launched a new venture called Sober Soldiers, whose goal is to provide drug-free companionship for recovering musicians.

The most important component of Paris's recovery is his own desire for and commitment to his sobriety. But I believe that another integral part of the recovery puzzle is the unending support of family. Even through the worst of times, Paris always had our love. We never stopped believing that he would find his own way home. On July 4 of this year, he will have been sober for two years.

It is no coincidence that the new REO Speedwagon CD is titled "Find Your Own Way Home." I wrote the songs during the journey through, and emergence from, the darkest, yet most fulfilling, chapter of my life. Perhaps the emotional centerpiece of the album is this simple lyric: "I needed to fall, and come back stronger. I needed to crawl, to find my way." I believe we all need to fall, and allow our children to fall, as well. Falling is inevitable. It is an essential leg of the journey to adulthood. Only through falling do we learn how to rise back up.

I now have a second shot at parenthood, through my 11-year-old daughter, Holly, and my 8-year-old twins, Josh and Shane. I hope that other parents can benefit, as I have, from the lessons of Paris's and my story. In sharing this struggle, my son has shown amazing courage. As in the song I have sung to audiences thousands of times now, he was tired of the same old story, and he finally turned some pages to start a new chapter. He now serves as a fine example to his little sister and brothers. And I have my son back.

© 2008