The Doctor Will See You Now

'We're much more likely to talk about our husbands' sexual inadequacies than our kids' sexual development.'

By Kathleen Deveny | NEWSWEEK

May 5, 2008 Issue

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Discuss

Posted By: pattireis @ 05/09/2008 12:47:58 PM

Comment: I had hoped the current crop of parents, to which I belong, would be bringing slightly healthier attitudes about sex to the table. But seeing these stories of all these ridiculous overreactions saddens me. How can any adult woman think a FOUR YEAR OLD is sexually harassing her????? On the other end of the spectrum is, as pointed out below, parents who will buy their 9-year-old girls padded bras and thongs. There is a balance in there somewhere ,people. Curiosity, be it sexual or scientific, should be applauded, not discouraged, though kids need to be taught gently to keep their hands to themselves (and off themselves in public). Key word being taught. They don't know any better, but they should never be made to feel ashamed for their natural tendency to explore. Shame does far worse damage in the long run.
Posted By: John Luma @ 05/08/2008 9:28:11 PM

Comment: You've hit many useful points here. I can tell you from firsthand experience, growing up in the '50s in a very repressed Catholic family, Americn society seems to be dividing over this issue of repression vs. free expression, traditional values vs. "do whatever you want." From my view, there are problems on both sides of this divide. Not accepting children's natural curiosity and sexuality is just stupid, but righteous parents who are not comfortable with their own feelings simply pile on the repression out of fear. And parents who allow all free expression are equally irresponsible, particularly when they ignore establishing standards of behavior based on self-respect, respect for others, and a reverance for life. To a great degree, we can point to our great institutional leaders -- corporate, religious, political, and the media -- for this schizophrenic mess. Religion doesn't seem to know how to make common-sense values relevant. Politicians seem to lack the ability to inspire a common ground. And business and the media will exploit any chance to titillate and sensationalize sexuality for profit, without the slightest regard for moral leadership. So, half our society is outraged, half is sleep-walking in disregard, with real emotional fears, repression and confusion the result. It's a cultural free-for-all, and millions of kids grow up to pay a destructive lifelong price for it.
Posted By: pamdixon @ 04/29/2008 2:45:20 PM

Comment: When my daughter at age five announced that when Jeremy sat next to her her "puddy" tingled. Some people have a higher sexual drive than others and there is no reason to ignore the fact that, hey, kids feel it too. I think the negative response from an innocent statementis far more damaging.
Posted By: leahbaustin @ 04/28/2008 9:53:39 PM

Comment: You are hilarious! Love it!!
Posted By: amaryllism @ 04/28/2008 2:44:08 PM

Comment: This is the end result of the sexualization of children in this country. my nine-year-old daughter wanted me to buy her thongs and padded bras the other day. i didn't even believe they sold such things for children until she brought me to the rack in the children's - CHILDREN'S- department. the truly disturbing thing is, you know stores wouldn't be selling those items unless parents were buying them. if you're the sort of parent who will buy a third grader a wonderbra and matching thong, it's probably not much of stretch to see a rapist in a naked three-year-old. (in case you were wondering, my nine-year-old has no extraneous padding over her breastless nipples, and her bottom is fully covered. and we had a very long talk about how women in real life are different from women in movies and on tv. and about how he is not a women yet. i think the wedgie i gave her was the most persuasive argument against the thong, though.)
- Posted By: summer4077 @ 04/29/2008 11:15:21
  
  Comment: I agree! I'm in my 20s and shop at stores like Forever 21, h&m, etc. These stores cater to mostly 20somethings--they are trendy and sometimes provocative. I can't tell you the number of times I've seen girls 12 and under in there...with their MOTHERS buying them short little skirts, skimpy halter tops, heels, etc. It's sad.
  I remember my generation not getting training bras (simple cotton half tank tops) until we were 11 or 12. Now you have stores marketing underwear with "juicy" and "flirty" on them to kids under 10! It's nuts!
  Kids imitate what they see. Until we take the oversexualized merchandise for children out of the stores, how can you expect them to NOT be curious?