A Brother’s Keeper

Did you ever think you could end up in one of these graves?
Yeah, I did. In fact, I was supposed to go out that day Sgt. Lawton was killed. The night before … I made the decision not to go. But here's the crazy thing: when Sgt. Lawton was killed, they put us into radio silence. No communication with the outside world. I used to talk to my family on the Internet every night. That all stopped suddenly. But my name was on the [patrol] roster still. So when word got back to the States there was a casualty, my family was told it was me that was killed.

Oh my God. A casualty officer went to your family's house and notified your family?
This is before they got a handle on the casualty officers and informing families. It was during the beginning [of the war]. They were still trying to figure how to, you know, do it. So through the [battalion's] family support group, someone spread a rumor it was me. They told my fiancée. And she didn't know how to approach my mom.

How long did this go on for?
Three, four days.

Your family thought you were dead for three or four days?
Yeah. They thought it was me. At the time my mom was going blind, but as soon as my fiancée walked in the room, she knew something was wrong. She just passed out. So for three, four days they were waiting for someone to come to the house. So when communication finally opened up, my fiancée answered the phone, and it was, like, a total relief. She was there with my mom, and I told her to put Mom on the phone. I said, "It's me, Mom." There was crying. I said, "Calm down, Mom. Everything's fine. We're regrouping. I just couldn't call you. I'm alive. I'm fine." The way they are notifying [families] now, it's the proper way to do it.

Did you think about Fort Logan while in Iraq?
I wondered what was going on back here. Did they receive a KIA while I was gone? My job before I left was the headstone setter. And I was hoping they were doing it right.

What are people not understanding about what's going on out here, in Fort Logan?
They don't really realize the sacrifice a lot of these guys have made. People forget. The rest of society, they say they know about the war, but they don't really know what these families are going through. They are not in tune with what's going on. This war has gone on so long, people are sick and tired of hearing of it. I can understand people are concerned about the economy and jobs, and everyone has to survive, but a lot people have pushed the war back. We still have guys over there fighting.

There's Danny Dietz’s grave . [Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Danny P. Dietz, 25, was killed in Afghanistan on June 28, 2005]
Yeah. His mother comes out, like, twice a week. You always see someone out here, taking care of these graves, especially the mothers. They all come out, after these many years. I always tell myself, "Thank God my mom didn't have to go through that." It seems like the mothers always take the loss harder.