A Brother’s Keeper

With all the violence and death you saw in Iraq, most people would be surprised you would come back to your job at Fort Logan.
At first I didn't want to come back. I really didn't. When I arrived back in Colorado, it took me at least two, three months to decide whether I'd come back or not. I was going through a lot of issues. I didn't want to talk to people. I became a hermit. I stayed indoors. I wouldn't venture outside for a brief time. I would never drive around. It took me a while to get out, back into society. Honestly, I was thinking about suicide.

What saved you?
My fiancée. My family. I had the support of my family. They were there. They encouraged me to seek therapy, which I did. That helped. Then I decided I needed to get to a place where I can get comfortable. And that was back at the cemetery. After two, three months, I was feeling a sense of calmness. I wasn't having those [suicidal] feelings. Now I have a purpose. This is what I want to do.

This was a place of healing for you.
It was. It's the comfort I needed ever since I got back. I think if I had never returned to the cemetery, I would have never had the closure I have now. It can be hard sometimes. It brings back some memories. But I take such pride. Coming back, I cherish life so much more. I know I'm alive. I'm still here. I appreciate life everyday. I'm just lucky.

But you've now decided to leave the cemetery, moving to Alabama with your fiancée. Are you nervous to leave this sense of comfort?
Yeah, I am. I'm leaving Memorial Day weekend. But I'm at the point where I'm ready to move on to the next step. I'm feeling good about it. I'm ready for the next chapter in my life.

Alonzo's story is included in Jim Sheeler's new book, "Final Salute." For more information about soldiers who have died in Iraq, see the Rocky Mountain News 2006 Pulitzer Prize-winning story . To assist families who've lost loved ones in military service, visit TAPS .

© 2008