The Popularity Gap

Perhaps no period of life is more fraught with obsessive worries about popularity, social hierarchies and reputations than that treacherous, three-year period known as middle school. The social anxieties of adolescence have driven plotlines from "The Wonder Years" to "Hannah Montana" where teens and pre-teens spend entire hours and episodes agonizing over what their peers think. Figuring out whether you'll end up being a cool prom king or queen bee--or the kid who eats alone in the cafeteria--is an integral part of becoming a teenager.

Turns out, it doesn't necessarily matter. Whether or not your high class voted you "most popular," teenagers who perceive themselves as well liked are just as socially successful over time as the kids who actually are part of the in-crowd, according to a new study in the May-June issue of Child Development. In fact, the overlap between the kids who believe they're popular and those who are deemed popular by their peers is pretty small. "Certainly there's a subset that feels good about themselves and is also popular, but that isn't the majority," says Kathleen Boykin McElhaney, a research associate in psychology at University of Virginia who conducted the study. Her findings add to a growing body of research suggesting that our perception of how we fit into the social world is just as important--if not more important--than our real-life position in the social world.

The researchers asked 164 students at a public middle school to tackle a nerve-wracking question: how well liked were they among their class? McElhaney gauged the students' popularity within the class with assessments from the teenagers' peers, asking them who they would "most like to spend time with on a Saturday night." She also had close friends rate the subjects' aggression and hostility, saying whether statements like "is mean to others" applied to the teen in question. The study began with a group of 13-year-olds; McElhaney checked back in with them a year later to gauge whether each teen was doing better or worse socially. "We were measuring their aggression and hostility, along with a peer rating of whether people want to hang out with the teen," she explains.

Half of her finding wasn't particularly surprising: the popular kids fare great socially, with their peers becoming more interested in hanging out with them over the year. But the teenagers who felt good about their place on the social ladder did just as well; they became less hostile and their peers became more interested in spending Saturday night with them even if they weren't ranked as particularly well liked.

"If you're popular, sure, you do well, but the same is true if you felt that you were socially accepted," says McElhaney. "And if you look at both of those effects together--popularity and self-perceived social acceptance, we found that either one was OK."

The one group of teenagers who did not fare well socially were those who did not perceive themselves as well liked and were not ranked as popular by their peers. These kids were viewed as more hostile toward their peers as the year went on and they were less sought out by their classmates over time. "They're not at all on the radar screen," says McElhaney. "They don't see themselves as accepted and that's where it's most problematic, when you don't have either that popularity or sense that you're well liked."