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What generally happens when bipolar kids hit puberty?
David Miklowitz: "As you go up the age ladder, the symptoms tend to resemble those in adults more and more. When the kid becomes a teenager, the episodes are characterized by mixed symptoms, rapid cycling, psychosis, and severe irritability. ... The big issue in adolescence is that all kids strive for independence. They try to define themselves separately from their parents. If they have a psychiatric illness, that tends to derail them socially—they fall behind their peers. Other kids shun them or make up rumors, and they get isolated. Some of them aren't really ready for the developmental tasks of adolescence. By age 18 many kids feel ready to take on the world, but a lot of these kids don't. The other big worry is that adolescence is often the first time that kids go off their medications. They get to be 12 or 13 and say, 'I don't really have to do this." It can become a weapon against their parents. I worked with a kid who started leaving lithium tablets all over the house—on the table, behind the toilet, under his mother's pillow. This was his way of saying, 'look what I can do.'"
How can parents cope if they are struggling with some of the same behavioral issues that affect their kids?

David Miklowitz: "That comes up all the time. It's a very multifaceted problem. If the parent is unstable, the kid's going to be unstable. One of the issues is whether we can get the parents into the proper treatment if they also have a disorder. They may not have even been diagnosed. We also tell them they have to be better communicators with their kids than their neighbors. They have to learn skills that go beyond the normal. We try to get them to be a role model for the kid."

John Weisz, president and CEO, Judge Baker Children's Center, Boston: "We're not the parents. We're secondary. We do know specific parenting skills that can help, but if there are particular skills parents don't want to use, we respect that. Still, parent training is very helpful to so many of the families we serve. When children have significant behavioral or emotional problems, their parents need general parenting skills, but pushed to a much higher level than the norm. Sometimes a parent may feel 'if the therapist wants to see me, uh oh, that must mean I'm the problem.' That's not our view at all; we just want to support the parents in building special skills for the special challenges their kids face."

© 2008

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Member Comments

  • Posted By: B*UR*SLF @ 05/28/2008 11:10:03 AM

    I want to second the recommendation made on 5/20 for familes of children to utilize National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI). In my opinion, this is THE most important organization for family members to find. Their web address is: www.nami.org Their primary objectives are to support families and consumers, to provide education and training about mental illness, and to advocate for their family members who have mental health diagnoses. There is a wealth of information, training and support for families and you will be able to locate a NAMI group near you, no matter where you live. Please, for the sake of your children and yourself, get in touch with this organization. You will find help there. KKS, LCSW, Missouri, I work with children and adults with serious and persistent mental health disorders. .

  • Posted By: taswolf @ 05/25/2008 9:23:13 AM

    My son is turning 25 in August. We have just been told within the last year that he is bipolar. As a child we heard cronic adhd and ocd. Went through the motions of ritalin, adderall, luvox. Had all the school issues and still things became worst. He also has downs syndrome and is a twin. His sister is married now almost 3 years and getting her masters. We had two other children after the twins. Everyone else fine. No other family history. We were also told the one twin factor of downs was a freak thing and Gods will. Things happen for a reason right. The seizures start almost 3 years ago. He was on abilify at the time. Even then was never told he had bipolar. He's been to 4 different physiciatric centers in two states. He's actually in one now waiting to be transfered to another. Throughout this whole process my whole mental status has deteriorated and faith slowly weakens. No one has offered any support groups, just handed out a pamphlet on coping with bipolar. What a joke. In January we moved him into a group home because he was becoming to violent at home. He's now on 8 medications, all of which have some sort of side effect from blood pressure or blood sugars, tremors and incontinence. It's a very scary world and you really do feel like your in it alone. Reading all of this info has helped more than my 4 months in therapy. If anyone has any more info or input I would love to keep reading on. At least now I feel like I'm doing something.

  • Posted By: JeanGenie @ 05/24/2008 11:24:15 PM

    Hang in there moms. They didn't diagose me with bipolar disorder until I was in my 30's. When I think back to being a kid and all the energy it took to deal with the highs and lows. My mother didn't have a clue what to do with me, which only frightened me more. Hang in there you guys. Love is still the best med. There is only so much you can do a day at a time. I know they overdiagnose this disorder, but they are also helping a lot of kids too. I wish I could have been medicated as a kid. They just didnt do it back then.

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COVER STORY: HEALTH

Bipolar disorder is a mystery and a subject of medical debate. But for the Blakes, it's just reality.