Fatgirl Slim

You had a thin mother and a critical father. Did they make you want to eat more, not less, when they talked about weight?
I don't know. It's hard. My father would puff out his cheeks at the dinner table. Sometimes I'd just eat to spite him. I probably also ate in secrecy because I wasn't free to eat in front of them, in front of my father because he'd be critical. I'd find other ways to get food. I'd have it at school, in the cafeteria, when my parents weren't around. Again, that goes back to denial-denying me foods, I had to find a way to get them, so I'd cram them in after school, when they'd sell at some bake sale or whatever. That's what kids do if they know that's the only way they can get it.

When you were a kid, your legs' chafing together caused red itchy bumps that your mom called "chub rub," and boys at school called you "Moose." Was the name-calling the worst part about being overweight?
Yeah, that was the hardest part, was all the cruelty. It wasn't just name-calling. We'd play spin the bottle, and if the bottle landed on me, the guy would ask for a do-over. There you are trying so hard to fit in as an adolescent. Back then they didn't have stores where they had fashionable plus-size clothes. I'd have to wear clothes that were not cool and hip.

Were there positives to being overweight?
You have been chastised. It gives you empathy. But also, I'm not perfect. I'm human. But overall, whenever I see anyone being made fun of or given a hard time, I rush to their defense. I want to help them because I know how it feels.

You've said you're fed up with what you call "fatnalysis." Why?
People can analyze it to death. People can say you're fat because you're filling a void, or you eat for all these emotional reasons. I said I don't need to focus on this anymore. It doesn't matter why I'm fat. Let's fix it. I don't think fixing it involves searching into my past and analyzing every last reason why I like cheese. It's much more important for me to focus on my daily habits and what can I do to possibly change certain habits and give myself tools to get through whatever I have to get through. Especially as a child, you don't need to hear about it all the time. Focus on developing talents.

Would you recommend a fat camp to parents whose kids are overweight?
It depends. It should definitely be something the child wants to do. It also depends what kind of camp it is. Today the camps are quite different. I think they try to prepare the kids much better for once they leave camp, equipping them with skills instead of just sweating them and starving them. They give them journals, so they're in the habit of writing down what they eat ... They have a lot more control, as opposed to being told, "This is all you're allowed to eat." They're giving them choices.

What is the best way for parents to help an overweight child?
For starters, be a very good role model and don't just talk the talk. Don't keep [junk food] in the house. Be active with your child. Show them that you're in it together. It's the whole family that's getting involved, even the thin people in the family. You have to remember it's a health issue; it's not an aesthetic issue. I'd hate it when my own mother would say, "I'm not going to deprive your father and your sister of sweets just because you're heavy." If my children come to me and want tons of sweets, I'm going to say, "We all get one, out of fairness, and that's enough." It's about not rewarding your children with food, not always celebrating with food. I do think it's important to find other ways to comfort our children and ourselves, to work other ways of celebrating and rewarding.