Slicing Up Assets in Advance

If the "Big Conversation" doesn't go well, read up on how to have a "difficult" or "crucial" conversation (strongly recommended!) and find a knowledgeable and skilled family mediator who can guide you through these talks. Good family lawyers should be used for consulting, advising, and reviewing final documents to ensure that all critical issues are addressed and agreements are enforceable. rina@transformingconflictllc.com

One of the most unpleasant experiences in my life (by far) was negotiating my pre-nup. Because that is exactly what it is--a negotiation and anticipation of negative events. I'm a firm believer in contracts and pre-nups but I was unprepared for how awful I would feel during the discussion of the terms. You were totally right when you said it was embarrassing. For whatever reason, it just feels bad. In the end you've got to have 'em but it is really unpleasant getting to the end.

I face similar issues, but don't understand your strong feelings about leaving a motherlode to your children. I want my children to be taken care of, but I'm not obsessed with the idea that they should get "everything." Why should they? I believe it was Warren Buffett who said that large inheritances give children a dis-incentive to create their own success. Or perhaps it's because I'm from a large family and expect my own parents' bequests to be limited and split seven ways. That's fine with me. Whether I'm dead or alive, I don't think handing my children large gobs of cash is the best thing that I can do for them. And if I love the person I'm married to - second spouse or not - what's so wrong with that person inheriting as well? I feel very much in the minority with this opinion as I hear a lot of people talking about those "greedy" second spouses... If they're so "greedy", why are we marrying them in the first place?

Happy new wedding!!!

enjoyed it - thanks for the info, and congratulations on finding love again, and both of you being financially secure! sounds heavenly

I hear the Vera Wang weddding site that is going to be launched this month is going to pretty cool and stylish