A Plea for My Daughter

I am very glad that Newsweek has given food allergies more coverage. This problem is serious and is not going away. It was refreshing to read the authors description - 'peanut allergies are like mutual funds, past performance is no guarantee of future results'' because it perfectly describes the complexity of a food allergy reaction. Peanuts are not the only 'mutual funds' in the food allergy world, any food can be life threatening and show different results each time.
Taking care of a child with food allergies is a life altering adjustiment for everyone who is in contact with the child. A parent of a child or teen with food allergies is on alert every minute of every day just in case. It is stressful enough dealing with food manufactureres, restaurants, grocery stores, birthday parties, and the list goes on. Recently my son had a food allergic reaction to a supposed 'all beef' hot dog at a baseball game and it turned out the hot dog contained non fat dry milk. We spend the next 5 hours in the hospital monitoring him in case of a secondary reaction. Luckily he only vomited but last time (4 years ago) his throat began to close. Many people do not know that after ingesting a life threating food allergen there is a good possibility of a secondary reaction called a 'biphasic' reaction which is usually worse than the first and can be fatal. It takes approximately 6 hours to know whether the biphasic will occur.
The people who abuse, neglect, and deny the rights and needs of a food allergic child or adult are without question bullies with the intent to cause harm and possibly death. Those are the people who lack compassion and conscientiousness for their fellow man, woman, or child.

Rebecca - thank you so very much for this article! My daughter has a severe nut allergy, and we found out the scary way. She is only 3, and I can't tell you how nerve wracking it was to send her to preschool. The teachers in her classroom have been great about keeping a peanut nut free zone. However, this weekend, one of the parents had planned peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for our end of year picnic! A very thoughtful friend in the parent group quickly discussed with her how big a risk that was - imagine, 20 preschoolers and their toddler siblings running wild through the park with peanut butter all over their hands and faces - my worst nightmare. I consider myself a laid-back mom, and so I always have pangs when going to someone's house and quizzing them on the contents of their well-cooked meal. But it IS worth it . . . I'm not risking my daughter's health over anything. As for the comment below on "overmedicating" - there is no medication for a peanut allergy currenlty. The only prevention is abstinence, and the only medication is an EPI pen. I never, ever want to use our EPI pen. That said, we DO eat out, get ice cream, go to the bakery, etc . . . we evaluate the ingredients, and hope that by teaching our daughter how to ask the right questions, she will be better prepared when she's old enough for elementary school, overnites, etc. You need to do what makes you most comfortable. Good luck!

Before you tell your daughter that she can never go to a donut shop again, get a second opinion. If you say she's been fine all these years and has sat next to her brother playing in peanut butter, it might very well be a false diagnosis. I was tested for allergies a few years ago and was diagnosed with allergies to numerous items that have never bothered me over my 30 years. Our society tends to overmedicate children from their earliest years. Before you ruin your family's life, do yourself a favor and go see another doctor.

I am a preschool teacher who has been "inconvenienced " (as some people want to call it) by dealing with student food allergies. I hope those who complain about being "inconvenienced" never witness a child going into anaphylactic shock. I WOULD MUCH RATHER BE INCONVENIENCED/OVEPROTECTIVE THAN WITNESS A CHILD STRUGGLING TO STAY ALIVE!!! Thanks for the info about the online support group...I'll pass along the information.

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My cousin has the same kind of allergies and more. Some of them he has grown out of -- he can now eat eggs -- but he will probably be peanut and tree nut allergic the rest of his life. He carries an epipen wherever he goes but his parents are raising him to be a normal kid with one sensitivity. He was at my sister's house for a picnic one year and he particpated with the other kids in shucking a big box of corn, having a hugely good time of it. He is one peanut away from death but he is also a kid wifh a life. His parents are careful, they share information with the school and other parents but they also help him relate. He is free to be a brat if he needs to be and not be a hothouse flower. That little girl will eventually have to take responsibility for her own health but she can if her parents let her.

What a moving and beautifully written column. I have to say, of all the My Turns I have read over the years, this one has made me think more than most. It is so thoughtful, thought provoking and perceptive. Well done.

This could be our story as well. My son's peanut allergy was also discovered by chance. We were looking for his dairy allergy. We have encountered those people that refuse to "get it", refuse to go out of their way to keep my child safe. Those are the kind that possibly will never understand, even if it happens to them. Please, please join other parents like yourself at www.kidswithfoodallergies.org. The group is my lifeline on hard days and in the early days really helped me figure out my son's allergy and how to live with it.

Carre (parent of a child with food allergies and a child with food intolerances)

I have a niece with strong case of this allergy and there have been a few close calls. The randomness of it is the scary part. The number of objects and places peanut oils may be either by people ill informed, lazy or multitasking so much they just missed it this once another words by people just being human makes possible contact so random. I do worry about the scars all this necessary fear and caution will have on her.

Please, come visit http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org for the best online support group around, with regards to kids with food allergies, Lydia and mom are quite welcome, and will <SO> fit <RIGHT> in.

This exact story could be written by our over 10,000 members... truly.

Jason (Volunteer at KFA)

It's always disturbing when your child is ill. As parents we fix it - chicken soup, ginger ale, antibiotics. We make it all better. When your child is diagnosed with a chronic disease like asthma or allergies that may be potentially life threatening, you can't fix it. After the shock wears off, you learn to protect them ---then you teach them to protect themselves. It's not easy for a nine year old to tell a teacher "No, I cannot make pine cone bird feeders using peanut butter and seeds!".

The more educated we are as a parent, the healthier our kids will be, even with asthma and/or food allergies. There is a great magazette, Anaphylaxis: A Guide for You and Me that you can download for free from the Mothers of Asthmatics at www.breatherville.org/farmersmarket/ Good luck and don't be afraid to let people know about threats to your child's wellbeing! ShirleyJVal

I think what this mom is experiencing is that her and her daughters lives will never be the same. they will not be able to just go out and grab a bite to eat with out having to question the ingredients of the food, what it was cooked in and cross contamination issues in the kitchen. She used to be on the side of food allergies and now she is the one with the child with the allergy. She is thinking of the thoughts that she thought when the other child had the allergy. I have 2 sons 9 and 10 who are anaphylactic to all dairy anbd egg products. They have carried an epi-pen with them their whole lives and they know how to use it. When you have a child with a food allergy your life is not your own. You constantly worry about them and what they are eating or might eat. You feel bad when they other kids are eating things and your child is left out. I have had numerous ER visits because of cross contamination in a restaurant or an ingredient that wasn't listed on the box. It is not a fun experience watching your child struggle to get a breath just because he ate something with dairy or egg in it. You have to worry about your child and what others are eating around them, what they might offer your child to eat etc... You should try walking in a Food Allergeric Parents step for a day and you will thank God that your child does not have food allergies!