How astounding people are to make comments filled with judgement and vitriol, when they speak from no personal experience! My 4th child, a boy, was diagnosed with anaphylaxis to peanuts and tree nuts at 7 months. A Skin Prick Test was not even considerded safe.My older 3 kids were fine, peanut butter had been part of their normal diet . OUR lives were turned upside down. The point is: no one chooses to make this health issue the problem of anyone else, but there is no choice! In the case of extreme, fatal allergy - and he has seen more than one specialist - it is not sufficient for the person suffering from the allergy to avoid the product in question. ANY contact is enough to cause an anaphylactic reaction. - The smell of a school mate's peanut butter sandwich, the remainder on a surface or hand, the vapour that escapes when a packet of nuts is opened (hence the panic on a 'plane). The merest trace will cause him to stop breathing, and it will be a very quiet and perhaps unnoticed death.
So as moms, we ask for some consideration. At 11, he is wise and responsible beyond his years. Sadly, he does depend on the consideration of people around him. In the main, I have found his peer group to be far more tolerant than their parents. All I can say to all the nay- sayers out there who think our caution is much ado about nothing, there but by the grace of God go you - and those you love. Allergies can strike at any time.
An allergy that is severe cannot be compared to diabetes, debilitating though the latter may be. You can 'manage' diabetes, if you don't get to the extreme allergy sufferer in time, he/she will die.The worst sufferers are not 'lucky' enough to itch, vomit, swell, break out in hives. The simply stop breathing. You cannot over-react to that possibility. Those of us involved and who really understand, pray each day for some medical breakthrough.
Oh, and by the way, there IS a difference between a fish allergy and a shellfish allergy......
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A Plea for My Daughter
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Or not. She could break out in hives, or throw up. There's simply no way to know. In a way, that complicates matters. Although death by peanut is a real possibility, it is a relatively rare one. And people are reluctant to be inconvenienced to prevent an event they don't really believe will happen anyway. While scouring the Internet to learn about my daughter's condition, I came across a screed by a man furious at being denied peanuts on airline flights because of those whiny allergic people. Some readers commented on his selfishness. But several others cheered him on, suggesting ways he might "get back at" the whiners by surreptitiously exposing them to peanuts.
I've never met someone willing to express such malice to my face. But I have seen parents roll their eyes when another parent stands up at back-to-school night and begins, "My child has a nut allergy ..." A few months ago, I myself groaned inwardly when I learned that the one classmate my daughter wanted at her birthday party was the one with a food allergy. I thought it odd that the girl's family ate quietly in a different area of the restaurant where we held the party. Now I know why: they wanted to be nearby with an EpiPen, just in case. They didn't know me and didn't want to put me in the position of having to ensure their child's safety.
I don't want to ask that of other parents, either. I don't want to ask them to deny their children their favorite treats because my child can't be near peanuts. I don't want them rolling their eyes at me, or, God forbid, at my child. I hate to ask for their help, but I will, because I cannot keep my daughter safe by myself.
King lives in Farmington Hills, Mich.
© 2008
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