We’re Bossy—And Proud of It

More wasted bandwidth. There is NO difference and neither can be defended when it involves verbal abuse or control. If it is defended, women will then discover, they are NO better than men in any manner of speaking. That being said, women should simply focus on themselves and leave the criticism of men to the Gods. Nobody died and left women boss.

Kathleen, definetly remind me very much of my ex wife, a ballbuster. Articles such as this, reinforces why I won't and basically refused to get remarried period. Another thing I worry and feared are for my nephews. That will most likely to encouter these future little dictators. ......posted by the Dark Knight

Hmmm. Kathleen, I was with you for a little bit, but on further thought I really must disagree. In my opinion (and raising boy/girl twins) bossiness IS a girl thing, just like aggressiveness is a boy thing. They are both undesirable traits, symptomatic of children who don't know other methods to get what they want, such as cooperation or persuasion. I have to agree with some other posters that encouraging this kind of behavior is a disservice: to boys AND girls.

I find overbearing, pompous control freaks who think it is their life mission to tell us all what to do completely obnoxious no matter what their gender affiliation. It is not a quality or trait in any person I want to be around at work or in my social life. Encouraging "bossiness" is an idiot's errand.

Assertivem

Oh good. I thought it was just me. As a high school teacher I have had the wonderful opportunity to work with students (male and female) who possessed highly sophisticated leadership skills and bossy was never one of them. In fact, bossy was the kiss-of-death for anyone trying to "lead" a group of teenagers. What these student leaders all had in common was the ability to listen and work WITH others, taking advantage of individual strengths and supporting weaknesses, quietly and WITHOUT ego. And, most importantly, in the end, the whole was much greater than the sum of its parts. I'm not sure if any of these students set out to be leaders, but everyone certainly wanted to follow.

Tolerating bossy behavior in any child is a bad idea, yet the author somehow seems to embrace it in the name of "equality".

How sickening; she certainly isn't doing her daughter any favors.

The footsoldiers in the gender wars are sending up flak barrages again I see. I fail to see where boys come in as ''assertive and confident''[a sweeping assertion that none of the authors back with facts,a de rigure tactic of the sides in these gender wars],when they are floating in Ritalin and other behavior-changing drugs that lend to neither condition being able to exist.More boys than girls are medicated. More boys than girls suffer from autism [a fact acknowlaged by both APAs]. Can such a linkage be made to decreasing numbers of boys entering college? Who knows? But playing fast and loose with facts while painting the world as though sufferagettes were still being hauled to jail in calaboose wagons is not lending itself to knowlage either. A ''Poor ''grade to the above piece.

"Bossy" is not a leadership style, it's just bullying, without the implication of physical violence (which is called bullying).

People don't like bossy men or bossy women, but we seldom apply the word "bossy" to men/boys because we usually apply the word "bully."

Assertiveness, on the other hand, is a leadership style, and is used effectively by both men and women. It is a way of stating one's needs without trampling on someone else's needs. Maybe the author is proud to be considered bossy, but most people wouldn't be.

But I disagree that we only ask girls to walk a "very fine line" - we ask both sexes to walk a fine line. As the parent of both a boy and a girl, it is obvious to me that we don't do a good job in this society of helping boys become assertive without being bullies AND we don't do a good job of helping girls be assertive without being bossy, or the other 'b' word.

Both girls AND boys need to be taught effective assertiveness skills - the shy ones who don't assert themselves enough, and the aggressive ones who assert themselves too much.

True leadership, regardless of gender, is always easy to recognize. It is even easier to recognize ineffective and bad leadership - we instantly know it when we see it. That we use different adjectives for girls vs. boy is irrelevant - bossy or bully, nobody likes 'em.

The term "BOSSY GIRL" only get girls in trouble, but yes a lot women show leadership skills even in early childhood years, most guys will tell you that. Teach them to be leaders withhout being bossy and they'll grow up to be real leaders, all the energy they waste trying to be bossy let them invest it in listening.

Nobody tells boys not to be bossy, because those with bossy personalities either beat down all the others or are themselves beaten down -- literally. Pretty quickly, everyone learns their place.

I'm all for the kind of equality Ms. Deveny propounds. Let girls fight each other like boys, until the dust settles and a leader emerges.

In fact, the head games that girls suffer are most often inflicted by other girls. I guess they don't want to play the leadership game the way boys do.

Yep