Having Kids Makes You Happy

This article is great. In today's society where women are getting pregnant younger and younger thinking that a child is going to equal happiness because it's a little "bundle of joy" that will love them, this article clearly balances that out. And yeah, in a majority of cases, the women are the ones who decide they want children far quicker than the men do. We have girls who can't even drive but they're having children... having to rely almost wholly on their family to support them. What kind of message does that send to the child growing up? Moreso, what does that do for the father - if he even knows? Even better - couples who are together and have a rocky relationship and in a desperate attempt for commitment and happiness is 'accidentally' getting pregnant. You're not just having an impact on your own life - you're having an impact on your child's and the father's. I didn't know forcing responsibility on not only you but your significant other could be viewed as caring about the child.

Selfish for not having children? Right. Because admitting that you're not ready - emotionally, financially, mentally - or may never be ready is incredibly selfish since you happen to not follow what the rest of society thinks is their ticket to ultimate happiness. Because feeling that there are other things that you may want to do in your life aside from having children makes you a TERRIBLE person.

Couples in long-term relationships or even married that don't have kids by choice - I applaud you. You're not letting society push you to something that you don't want to do. It's as though there's segregation happening in society - suddenly you're looked down upon if you don't have kids (hey, that's what a lot of these "happy parents" seem to think). That's absolutely ridiculous. Everyone can make their own choices. Just because you chose to have kids doesn't mean you have to snob your nose at those who don't.

There's so many children in the world already that are left with no parents, no family, no home even. If you want children so bad, to raise and nurture and cherish the moments while they grow up, stop being selfish and adopt. PREPOSTEROUS! You say? Then maybe you don't want children for the reasons you're really trying to preach and push.

By the way, suphi, genius.

I don't think either group should have to justify their reasons for having kids or not having kids. It really saddens me that I hear phrases like "selfish and materialistic" being given to people who choose not to have kids. And, its just as bad to hear people who want kids as "breeders". Give me a break. Everyone has the right to make a choice and no one has the right to judge. I just find it funny. You can't win. If you have no kids, then you are selfish. But if you have ten kids, then you need to stop because you are out of control and are a breeder. The bad thing is that the same people calling a childless person selfish will also call someone with ten kids a breeder. Get over it. We have no right to judge each other's choices. As far as children and happiness go, I don't think they can make an accurate study. Happiness is based on so many more factors than whether or not you have children. I guarantee that there are childless people and parents out there that are thrilled with their lives. And, there are probably also childless people and parents who are both miserable. This whole article and argument is stupid.

I don't think either group should have to justify their reasons for having kids or not having kids. It really saddens me that I hear phrases like "selfish and materialistic" being given to people who choose not to have kids. And, its just as bad to hear people who want kids as "breeders". Give me a break. Everyone has the right to make a choice and no one has the right to judge. I just find it funny. You can't win. If you have no kids, then you are selfish. But if you have ten kids, then you need to stop because you are out of control and are a breeder. The bad thing is that the same people calling a childless person selfish will also call someone with ten kids a breeder. Get over it. We have no right to judge each other's choices. As far as children and happiness go, I don't think they can make an accurate study. Happiness is based on so many more factors than whether or not you have children. I guarantee that there are childless people and parents out there that are thrilled with their lives. And, there are probably also childless people and parents who are both miserable. This whole article and argument is stupid.

You know, I don't think that was the point at all. Of course parenthood is hard but yet incredibly rewarding.. ..if it wasn't why would anyone have them? But my goodness, is there really something wrong with you if you chose not to do so? Refer to earlier in this article where there is talk about the family who chose to have no children, but yet everyone on the block always had something to say about it. This is real life! I will be 26yrs old in the next couple of weeks. I for one do enjoy kids, and for the record, the rodent comparison is a bit harsh wouldn't you say? I mean, I think I found that comparison almost as ridiculous as you apparently found this article. The point is, ever since I was about 20, all I ever heard was "How many kids do you want? By when do you want to have kids? You need to settle down already and have kids." Really, do I? I guess I missed the memo where I'm suppose to live my life to appease everyone else. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with my decision to not have children. Not everyone makes a great parent, and I'm sure many of you would agree unfortunately there are many people out there who never should've become parents. My mother was the most motherly person on the face of the earth. She had 3 children, but would've had 6 if she could have. Now both she and my father are foster parents to 3 little boys, ages 5-11. Guess, what? I love spending time with these boys, but do I feel like I need to become a mother? I'm afraid it was never a desire of mine. I think the point to this article, was to tell everyone who has children to stop constantly chiming in with your two cents over what people like me have to do in order to "make our lives complete". That is what depresses me, not that I don't have kids, but everyone else trying to make me feel back because I don't. I'm not saying that is what you guys have done, I'm just merely saying that is what I believe the point to this article is.

I think that this article is very informative. I also agree that kids are for some and not for others. Think of all the children that are born to couples who have no intention of starting a family or end up with single parents within a short period of time and get neglected. I can't believe the hypocracy of some of the comments I am reading that disagree with the choice to not have children. This world is definitely not in any shortage of new population. Our population is growning at an alarming rate. I mean, think about all the new drivers that are hitting the roads every year. New babies are causing more global warming, how about that? I am pro-choice in this article. Don't look down on people who choose not to have kids.

I think that this article is very informative. I also agree that kids are for some and not for others. Think of all the children that are born to couples who have no intention of starting a family or end up with single parents within a short period of time and get neglected. I can't believe the hypocracy of some of the comments I am reading that disagree with the choice to not have children. This world is definitely not in any shortage of new population. Our population is growning at an alarming rate. I mean, think about all the new drivers that are hitting the roads every year. New babies are causing more global warming, how about that? I am pro-choice in this article. Don't look down on people who choose not to have kids.

My knee-jerk reaction is Of course you're not as "happy" as when you were single or newly-wed. Those periods of time were (for me) all about Me or all about just Me and My Spouse! Think of how "easy" your life was before a beloved pet. Now multiply that by well, pick a number. Sure you were "happier" because you could come and go as you pleased. Having children is not easy; however, I will continue to say that it is the very best thing I have done in my life. The joy is overwhelming at times. I think there are a lot of people out there that say "thank goodness this stage of childhood is over", be it infancy, toodlerhood, teenage years. But every parent I know always says "How I miss the ___ stage..." I know two childless couples -- one does not discuss their lack of children, but elludes that it was by their choice. The other is constantly battling with the fact that she could not have kids. Go figure. I'd love to ready the survey questions and how they were posed. Do I miss not being able to eat a meal at its proper temperature? Definitely. Do I miss not being able to sleep until 9:00a.m? You bet. Do I regret having children? Not for one moment. I once heard we have the first child for ourselves and the second for the first child. I believe that.

Good for Lorraine Ali for writing this. She has children, yet she's speakign up for the people who choose not to. In short, she's reminding us all that we CAN choose to have or not have children. Personally, I am pregnant and after having a previous miscarriage, scared to death that may be forced to be childless by my body. (not getting into the fertility/adoption options, that's a different conversation completely). Still, even though I fear being childless, I have the greatest respect for my friend who chose not to have children, or my cousin who had her tubes tied at 30 to avoid pregnancy. They made the decisions based on what they were mentally and emotionally capable of handling. I applaude them for that. It is way better tha incapable people pushing children out into the world that are ill-equipped to deal with life because Mom and Dad just didn't get how to raise them. To be honest I would even say my own mother should never have had children. She has a myriad of mental problems and hates children. Still she had kids because thats what she was 'supposed' to do. That meant we children had to suffer through horrible childhoods! Yes, i know it means I wouldn't be here at all, but thinking of everything we went through, I would never force a child to go through that. So all the bible-thumpers and 'you must have children to be complete' people I say this- should all of the insane/drug addicted/ criminals/ and various other dangerous personalities really be guilted in reproduction!!!!! If you say yes, then I will ask this, what about when the child molester down the block who has children? What about when he or she wants to take them to school? Welcome to America, where the freedom of speech doesn't give us freedom from hypocrites.

My knee-jerk reaction is Of course you're not as "happy" as when you were single or newly-wed. Those periods of time were (for me) all about Me or all about just Me and My Spouse! Think of how "easy" your life was before your favorite pet. Now multiply that by well, pick a number. Sure you were "happier" because you could come and go as you pleased. Having children is not easy; however, I will continue to say that it is the very best thing I have done in my life. The joy is overwhelming at times. I think there are a lot of people out there that say "thank goodness this stage of childhood is over", be it infancy, toodlerhood, teenage years. But every parent I know always says "How I miss the ___ stage..." I know two childless couples -- one does not discuss their lack of children, but elludes that it was by their choice. The other is constantly battling with the fact that she could not have kids. Go figure. I'd love to ready the survey questions and how they were posed. Do I miss not being able to eat a meal at its proper temperature? Definitely. Do I miss not being able to sleep until 9:00a.m? You bet. Do I regret having children? Not for one moment. I once heard we have the first child for ourselves and the second for the first child. I believe that.

What an interesting article. I have several comments about this. First of all the demographics for those with children and without tend to be very different. I'd say a far majority of those with children had them at a young age and are less happy with how they themselves have faired in life. Most of those without children have focused on their careers and livelihoods and are happier because they have succeeded as they see success. If you ask people like myself who focused solely on my career for many years before I had a child I am sure you would find a totally different response. My husband and I were married for 10 years focusing on ourselves, traveling, and working on our careers. We had decided to have children after 10 years and had a little boy last summer. It is true that you can not possibly understand this until you are one. Before we had him I was happy, I had happy days and non-so happy days, but now that I have him I have at least one point of absolute bliss EVERY SINGLE DAY! I know it sounds sappy, but it is true.

My second point, from a psychological researchers point of view, is: that I doubt that this study took into account cognitive dissonance that surely tells people without kids that they better be happy since they don't have kids and they have been socialized to think that they should.

I have a very close friend who loves martini's and does think about not wanting to give that up to have kids, however I find everytime that she is in love she wants kids and when she is single she doesn't. I think that when we CHOSE to have children it due to the love that we want to share.
Parents: enjoy your children and each other. Those without, love one another and be happy where you are and who you are. I do believe it takes a village to PROPERLY raise children and it is all our roles that help make this world better.

I think this is just plainly simple. Giving birth to a child or not is entirely an individual decision, and no one can argue that because each individual has different beliefs and purpose in life. The world would not be interesting to live in if all of us thought and did alike! ???

However, having said so, once you decide to give birth to a child, it is your responsibility to look after him/her. If you are not ready or don't want to be a parent, be honest with yourself. The worst mistake you can make is to give birth to a child, and then avoid your role as a parent because you feel tied down.

Those who have reared children, I salute you for bringing new citizens of the world and help sustain mankind. Those who have decided not to do so, I salute you for being honest with yourself and committing to your decision.

To each his own. We all have to find our own reason and purpose in life and it will be different for everyone. It's easy to get sidetracked into thinking your purpose in life is outside of you-- in kids, in success, etc. Even easier to be judgemental about other people's ways of lives rather than face your own. Articles like this are entertainment and you should ask yourself why it affects you so much that someone thinks you are less happy because you have kids. Who gets to decide who's happy or not? You! Is an article really able to cause you to think you made the wrong or right decision? If you are happy, you probably wouldn't let this article validate or unvalidate your decisions.
For those Oprah fans out there, Oprah claims she didn't have kids because there were so many to be taken care of that were already born. This is how she found her purpose.

I think this is just plainly simple. Every individual has different beliefs and purpose in life. Having a child or not is entirely a personal decision for a couple, and no one can argue on that because each of us is different. The world would not be interesting to live in if all of us thought and did alike! ???

However, having said so, once you decide to give birth to a child, it is your responsibility to look after him/her. If you are not ready or don't want to be a parent, be honest with yourself. The worst mistake you can make is to give birth to a child, and then avoid your role as a parent because you feel tied down.

Those who have reared children, I salute you for bringing new citizens of the world and help sustain mankind. Those who have decided not to do so, I salute you for being honest with yourself and committing to your decision.

Outrageous.

The article is your point of view. You have no right to judge True or False. Hey, if your parents had thought that way, you would not have been alive to write such a stupid, immature article and dare to give a judgement on it. After reading your article, I wish your parents had really thought that way.

Studies have shown that the personality of the people who write such articles denote extreme selfishness, low or no moral standards, highly materialistic in nature, and it is better that such people do not have children as they will raise them with the same selfish values.

OK, there are no such studies, I just made it up to make a point. You are quoting a lot of "studies" in your article. I can come up with a lot of studies which are ridiculous and are a sheer waste of money. There was a study (on which I do not how many millions of dollars were spent) which came to a conclusion that one should drink 8 glasses of water a day. My grand-father and many generations before him knew that. There was no need of spending millions of dollars to come out with that conclusion.

Children are the shape of the future. We all have a moral responsibility to bring up children with good moral values so that they can be better citizens of the world and make the world a better place to live when it is their turn to be adults. If all of us decide not to have children, it is the beginning of the end of thwe world. Your article is motivating people towards escapism. You are trying to tell them to escape from their duties towards life.

Instead of writing such immature articles just because you get some money, why don't you write articles about how to raise good kids, or how to make child-raising a happy experience rather than a painful one? Why don't you write articles which are aimed at betterment of society rather than destruction of society? Why don't you write articles which have constructive criticism rather than destructive criticism? Wake up, and try to listen to your conscience a little bit !!!!!

If you can't do any of the above, STOP WRITING !!!!!!



If you cannot help society, please do not poison it and destroy it by your utterly selfish and pervert values.

When will you people get it your cicumstances are not what puts joy in your life wether you have kids or not.
The whole world is fallen and cursed. Searching for happiness in your choices will decieve you for awhile but you will find out that it does not work, I pray that you find that out now before it is to late. Very few people on this actually know the truth. Anything outside of Christ will only make you happy for a little while then when you find out that it is not making you happy anymore you are going to look for something else. Nothing will bring you satisfaction until you put God first , let the Spirirt of God make this a reality to all who read it. There is a way that seems right to man but its end is in destruction- Proverbs. Don't deceive yourself any longer your heart is telling you this is true.

i agree with you Danny!! I think the world has become very selfish and all we think about is our own happiness, sleep, social life, and how much free time we have for ourselves. My parents have worked so hard for us and they've done so with a smile, and they're truly happy. I don't see my parents bickering about us or ever complaining about having kids, rather they always say that their life would be incomplete without us. My parents would work day and night shifts so that there was always a parent at home with us while we were growing up and sleep wasn't as important as it is these days. They wanted to spend time with us, take us out and friends didn't seem as important because we're their flesh and blood and the center of their universe. However, my parents always never ignored eachother either, there was an amazing balance of life. All that my brothers and i are today, is because of my wonderful and most precious parents. They put us through college and there was never an option of should i go or not, the importance of education was drilled into us and then medical school. They're proud of our achievements and now, it's our turn to take care of them unconditionally. It's all about unconditional love and they're still young, their positive outlook on life and simple living and high thinking mental state keeps them happy and full of life.