Having Kids Makes You Happy

I'm tremendously happy without children, and could not pursue my full-time career as a climate change scientist or my numerous hobbies if I had kids. With all the carbon reductions I'm responsible for, I am doing far greater good for the planet than I would by simply being a mom, plus I'm giving the breeders more opportunities to overpopulate and destroy future standards-of-living and biodiversity.

The grumpiest people I know have NO kids and never wanted any. They are so self absorbed, they have no concept of reality. Now, it is a totally different situation if they have no kids, but wanted them but cannot because of medical reasons. It is also totally different if they have them but NEVER wanted any. You can't lump everyone in "All or None' categories. You also can't go by peoples own definition of 'happy" when they answer their own questions on a form without long term observations from an unbiased person. This is a typical BOGUS pyschoanalytical study!!

one more thing that's driving me nuts about the comments here - what's up with the name calling?? breeders? crotchfruit? if your parents were "breeders" then you childless by choice crotchfruit wouldn't have to worry about making any decisions, you wouldn't exist. And selfish? tragic? freaks? These are responsible people who are self aware enough to realize they do not want to commit to raising children and so intelligently, they refrain from doing so. Something those "parents" we see in the news for abusing their unwanted children or abandoning them should have thought about to begin with. I can't believe the righteousness and name calling on both sides. Let's all agree to GROW UP!

I do have kids (two actually) and am married. I can understand how some may witness a diminishing quality of life when parenting. Depends on the marriage really! But I can see how the "me" life is drastically reduced but that is replaced with a sense of purpose, therefore a life of "giving" increases. Where as, I use to be more free and casual, I now feel my days are filled with routine, mediating between squabbling siblings and saying things over and over and over. I miss "our" life and yearn for free time, but I vividly remember being childless and yearning for that family. We get joy out of reliving our childhood through them.

So, yes, they (the media) do paint a picture for us... that having a family is this fairytale, when in reality, it's very challenging. It's also fabulous, but it's still very, very challenging!

We believe that we have the best of both worlds. We manage to find time to go out and experience the things we'd like to experience and on the same token, come home to innocent gestures, hugs and kisses, as well as, screaming fits and an empty checkbook!

I also like to think that the sacrifices I make now for them will be replaced with a fulfilment later in our lives. But I'll post on that when I'm 60.

What may work for one may not work for another, that is why we are all given choices. There is no wrong answer here!

At 51 I have never had children. I always wondered if I had made a mistake not having any. Would I regret not having children and grandchildren when I'm very old?

I have friends that have been through the trials and tribulations. A couple of them said they wouldn't have had children if they knew ahead of time what they were going to go through. One of my friends only gets along with her children now they're grown and out of the house.

Two years ago I married my husband who has 2 teenagers still at home. I have also been taking care of my granddaughter from another one of my husband's sons. While all three children bring joy and some pain; I can honestly say I do not regret not having children

Camaro, you have to have a judgment against those mothers for child support. You don't automatically get child support. Then if they don't pay they can go to jail. There is no difference between deadbeat mothers and deadbeat fathers.

So, no I do not agree with your rantings.

Being a father of 5, I completely understand and agree with this article. Parenting is not very easy and we don't get to do a lot of the stuff we want to do. Oh well. That's the choice parents made. Is it the right choice? That depends on who you are and what you want.

Being childless absolutely has advantages, like sleeping in and going out whenever you darn well please. It's a good life and can be totally sasitifying.

I'm glad I'm a parent, though. Having kids is unlike any other experience in life and changes you. Emotions never ran as strong for me as they started to when I had my first daughter. Children are wonderful, yet stressful; adorable, yet messy; talkative, yet unable to get their point across when you're in a hurry.

If you want kids, have kids. If you don't want them, don't have them. It's not a difficult thing to understand for anybody.

I have no issue with those who choose to have children and I would hope for the same respect by those people. I just think it is interesting to note that most studies have concluded that the smartest people's in our society are choosing not to have children in deferrence to their careers. If this is the case then those of society who choose to not have children must be doing something right.

I am a 41 year old women and I have been married for 12 years. My husband and I have a very fulfilling married life and social life. We measure our accomplishments by what we have achieved together as a couple as well as seperately. I feel that being that trying to be a good and unselfish person to my husband, family, friends and strangers (charity work) is what gives value to my life. As for not being able to love as deeply I will have to disagree. If my husband (or family member) needed a kidney due to an illness I wouldn't hesitate to give them mine even with all the risks involved. This is how I measure the value in my own life. We CHOOSE not to have kids and it was our descision and ours alone. So please do not feel sorry for us like we are missing out on something, there are pro's and con's to both. What it really comes down to is can you make yourself happy first? I know we can:) Much love, A & D

I do have kids (two actually) and am married. I can understand how some may witness a diminishing quality of life when parenting. The "me" life is drastically reduced but that is replaced with a sense of purpose, therefore the "giving" life increases. Where as, I use to be more free and casual, I now feel my days are filled with routine, mediating between squabbling siblings and saying things over and over and over. I miss "our" life and yearn for free time, but I vividly remember being childless and yearning for that family. We get joy out of reliving my childhood through them.

So, yes, they (the media) do paint a picture for us... that having a family is this fairytale, when in reality, it's very challenging.

I like to think now that I have the best of both worlds. We manage to find time to go out and experience the things I'd like to experience and on the same token, come home to innocent gestures, hugs and kisses, as well as, screaming fits and an empty checkbook!

I also like to think that the sacrifices I make now for them will be replaced with a fulfilment later in our lives. But I'll post on that when I'm 60.

What may work for one may not work for another, that is why we are all given choices. There is no wrong answer here!

We have a neighbor (and we have known others) that we feel society is blessed that they never reproduced!

i dont want children, i dont have children. you want children, you have children. my choise your choise.

I am a 41 year old women and married for the last 12 years. My husband and I are very much in love and can have children but chose not too. We have a fullfilling social life with wonderful friends. I choose to get my fulfillment by being a quality person to my friends, family and even people who I don't know (charity work). I judge my accomplishments according to what my husband and I have achieved as a couple and seperately. If he needed a kidney from me due to illness I wouldn't hesitate to give it to him even with all the risks involved. That is how I define love, happiness and fulfillment. To each their own, and don't "feel sorry" for those who CHOOSE not to be parents...we are capible of loving just as deeply :) Sincerly, Angie

Who ever said having kids made you happier?? I am 30 and have two children, but growing up I was never told or given the impression that having kids made you happier. I was always warned by my parents that children are expensive and a lot of work. In fact, before having my first child I talked it over with my husband carefully. We did like the idea of having a child of our own but not to be "happier" (I was already happy), we wanted to experience the joy of parenthood. Some may say parenthood doesn't bring you joy, only pain but in my personnel experience it has brought much more joy than pain. Yes, there has been some growing pains and I am sure I'll see more. Most people don't look to be happier by having children but instead to attain the title of a mom or dad and experience the happiness it can bring. I never looked at a childless couple and thought of them as unhappy. In fact, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have more money, less clutter in the house and more freedom. Then I think about what life would be like without my children and its simply unbearable, and that IS the truth.

Perhaps this is true for those who don't want children, but from experience, I can tell you it does not apply to those that do. Perhaps all those "not as happy parents" were able to become parents way too easily and are unable to appreciate the wonderful gift with which they have been blessed.

I'm not sure if having kids will make me happier, I am just glad that my husband and I have made the conscious decision to wait a couple years before we do. I think the reason people with kids MIGHT be unhappy is because they got pregnant when they were unprepared, and had kids too early. You need to spend time as a couple before taking on such an endeavor. The biggest problem with society is people having kids they can't afford and letting everyone else pick up the tab, parents or not.

I think that your decision to have or not to have children is completely up to you. Weather you live happy without them or with them is entirely up to you. I respect the childless group hating being stereotyped, for we should all learn to accept and respect others' decisions and choices. I also think that this group needs to have more respect the future of this world-our kids-and not express about them as some burden to society for we the parents provide for them and also pay taxes.

please spell check people - especially you camaro98541
what you had to say was touching but difficult to understand with the mis-spelled words

I went to my little sis's skating party without my six year old son who hates noise and anything different from the norm and people looked at me like I was evil. Well let me say I actually had FUN at my little sis's birthday for the first time in years. Do I have cute pictures of my six year old. Nope. But we were both happier with my son staying home. I did ask him if he would like to go, b/c as a parent I would take him to make him happy. He didn't want to and it completely worked out. I have to say that the findings of this survey don't really surprise me and I don't consider it that shocking. I have only one child and the amount of energy and patience it takes to raise him on a day to day basis can easily become exhausting and even overwhelmng if you toss in an illness for either one of us. And boy is it awful on those more common than you would like occasions where we are both sick! I agree; however, that yes my life definilty has more meaning than it did without him and that I love and adore himwith all of my being. SO I don't mind the "percentage points of happiness" that I loose by choosing to be a mother. I would gladly give up more of them for another child to love and take care of. Anyone who has children understands that it is a self-sacrifiing path of life. But one well worth it when you look at the result: a well-adjusted child who grows into a well adjusted adult who will also love you forever. At least I think that is what we are all going for.