Having Kids Makes You Happy

I just had my best friend visiting me and we had this discussion about my My husband and myself not wanting to have children. ( ecspecially my husband) My friend has two girls my God children whom I love and would do anything for..But my friend thinks my husband is selfish because he does not wan children. I always thought that I did but over the last few weeks I have decided that it is not work all that is envolved..from breastfeeding (ouch) to changing poop..to mad dashes to the hospitals to whinning all day and all night from teething..to rebellious 7 year olds . Temper tantrums..falling out..kids throwing up..fevers..crying all the time ..NO WAY NO HOW . My husband and I are happy to be childless. Thank you God for the peace and tranquility know as childlessness.

My husband and I raised 9 kids. It didn't cost a million dollars, although they went to private religious schools. I am a high school teacher and my husband is a diabled veteran. My kids all worked for extras and put themselves through college by working (with occasional shopping trips in my cupboards). Now I am down to one at home witha few summer drop-ins. Nothing can come close to joy I feel when they stand under the marriage canopy as responsible, competant caring adults. Sure-we had our moments when things were awful and we were truely frightened for their futures, but they pulled through with flying colors. You can be happy in a straight line, but to be joyful, you must ride the rollercoaster down and then up higher to appreciate the view from the top.

I can definitely see both sides of the arguments. I have one child that is 12 years old. I do enjoy being a parent, but it is very hard work. Once you have children, your life does not belong to "you" anymore. You have to always put your children before youself. I can see how some people would choose to not have any children. I am definitely looking forward to my child growing up, so I can have more freedom to come and go as I please. Now that I see how hard it is being a parent, I am not sure if I want to have anymore kids.

Of course having kids doesn't make you happy. How selfish of us to assume that the purpose of having children is to make "us" happy. You have children because you need to give something TO them, not gain something FROM them. The fact that we frequently gain so much is not the point.

Having and raising children is damn hard work, and on a day-to-day basis, can be difficult, frustrating and mind-numbingly boring. It can also be rewarding, fulfilling, and heart-stoppingly joyful - frequently at the same time.

But happiness is in the eye of the beholder, and there are plenty of unhappy parents around (take a walk through the foster care system and see how many children are there because no one wants them), and plenty of happy folks without children.

Happiness or unhappiness doesn't come from kids of lack thereof - it comes from within. Or at least, it should.

My hasband and I tried to have kids and weren't able to. After several miscarriages and failed invitro attempts, we had to accept that God has a different plan for us. We are neither "tragic" or "selfish." In so many ways, we are truly blessed and choice to count our blessings rather than focus on what we don't have. To think there are such strong stereotypes against us is truly sad. For those of you with kids that think there is something wrong with people like us because we don't have them, you are truly missing out. We spoil our nieces, nephews, and friend's children rotten and have a blast doing so. Perhaps before you judge so quickly and harshly, you should take the time to get to know people and thier story. Additionally, you should have a heart. Not everybody gets what they want. How you choose to deal with that can add substantial character to who you are.

My mom used to say that the term "happiness" was overused. She said that short-term feelings like contentment and fun were not "happiness" - that those feelings are like weather, while actual happiness was like climate. I think this story conflates those concepts somewhat, and may not really be talking about genuine happiness. Children changed our marriage, and led to some dissatisfaction, particularly on the part of my stay-at-home wife. Far too late, I recently made some adjustments to my own habits, to be more helpful and supportive, and not just rely on my status as sole breadwinner to get me out of chores around the house. As a result, the "weather" of our marriage is sunnier, but I think our "climate" has been pretty balmy since having kids - we are constantly entertained by them, proud of their accomplishments, interested in their activities and energized by their excitement. I would be a much emptier person were I not a Dad, and I think even with all the isolation and frustration, my wife would say the same. I also echo the position of others here who applaud the decision not to have kids. We did because we've always wanted to - to those who don't like kids but feel obligated by some external force to have them, I urge you to reconsider. You do no one a service by bringing yet more unwanted children into the world (remember: pro-choice IS pro-life!!).

Single, love to party, did not want kids and got pregnant at 32. I have been a mother for 2 years now and it is very stressful, but I am happier now then I have ever been. Parents are under consist stress to raise a happy, stable and success adult. Parents are always on the lookout, maybe a little paranoid for the safely of their children from the monsters of the world. I would have to agree with the author of the article. Is the glass half full(positive) or half empty(negative)? You can choose to live your life with or without kids, either way, you deiced how it will effect your life.

Single, love to party, did not want kids and got pregnant at 32. I have been a mother for 2 years now and it is very stressful, but I am happier now then I have ever been. Parents are under consist stress to raise a happy, stable and success adult. Parents are always on the lookout, maybe a little paranoid for the safely of their children from the monsters of the world. I would have to agree with the author of the article. Is the glass half full(positive) or half empty(negative)? You can choose to live your life with or without kids, either way, you deiced how it will effect your life.

what i can say is that is very sad not to think of having it with someone you lovethe most, my is daniel villagra

what i can say is that is very sad not to think of having it with someone you lovethe most, my is daniel villagra

I raised 9 children and the rewards come when you see them fulfilling their positive potential. To see them helping others, doing the right thing, married and raising their own families- that is where the happiness lies. By the way, I don't think I've spent a million dollarsraising them, although I sent them to religious schools. They all worked for extras growing up, and paid for college by working and scholarships- along with a little shopping in my cupboards. I am a high school teacher and my husband is a diabled vet. We had our tribulations, but nothing can match the joy I feel as each stands under the wedding canopy and begins life as a decent, competent, responsible, caring adult.

I can not imagine my life with out my kids. The hard part- the worry. I worry about them and want the best for them- my love has never known this love until I had kids. Don't get me wrong, I love my family very much and my friends, but the love I feel for my children can never be described. If I ever lost a child I would be devastated as they are the best part of my life. I think everyone is different and for some this choice beings tremendous happiness. For others not having kids means happiness and that is okay too. I am a single mother to a six year old and ten year old and even as a single mother they bring more happiness and I can not compare that to anything. Do I get upset at times or stressed? Yep I do but that is part of being human and it doesn't change my love for my children and I still feel so blessed and happy to have them. I also get stressed with freinds and family - it is natural. I was born to be a mother though. I was the little girl who played Barbies and mine always had six kids so I knew from the time I was a small girl that I would be having kids. Having kids is part of my happiness. There is a love there that is like nothing you will have ever felt.
To people who decide not to have kids- good for them because that means that they are following their path in life as well.
I don't think condemning people with or with out kids is productive. I think it is illogical as it helps nothing but to further anger on each side.
Good luck to you all- kids or no kids

Look at statistics on CHILD ABUSE and neglect and mothers who are in treatment for depression (it's not a coincedence or a "chemical imbalance") if you really think most parents are honestly "happy." I'm a young, educated, world traveling, volunteer work doing woman in a long term relationship with a like minded man and we serve more people childFREE than concentrating on our own AND we have time and lots of money for an exciting social life. THAT'S OUR PURPOSE.

If couples choose not to have children, what's wrong with that? Having a child is not for everyone, and kudos to those who realize parenting is not for them instead of feeling obligated to birth an unwanted and resented child. I see absolutely nothing wrong with childless couples, and for those who have children and feel unfulfilled, I pity you. You ought to count your blessings and focus more on what you do have instead of kvetching about lost "me" time and tantrums. Take a look around you, some are not so fortunate, in all aspects of life.

As for me, I waited until I was 29 to have my son, because in my early 20's, I did not want children. Now, I can truly say having my child was indeed the best thing that's ever happened to me, and even now as he enters the "terrible two's" with tantrums and the like, I still feel much happier and overall satisfied with life. But that's ME, not everyone else. Not everyone wants to be parents, and that's fine. To be honest, I've seen far too many who shouldn't be but unfortunately are, and that is far worse.

Her studies do not "shake the foundations" of what we have come to believe. If any person thought having a child was easy and would make them happy - they were a clueless, self-centered idiot! You don't have children to "make you happy." You have them because this is what you would like in your life. Of course you will be tired, ready to rip your hair out, and spending money like there's no tomorrow. BUT every study is only as good as the questions asked! Did this study ask any questions about the benefits of having children? It sounds to me like it just missed many intangible factors. Too bad we live in a world that so devalues children and being a parent. No wonder parents are so unhappy!

Reading the article I realized a couple of things, the first that it's all probably true, especially the part when they say that kids were more desired in the past, but I think they got the reasons wrong, I think that in past times the reasons of happines were totaly opposed of those we have now, in current days people have come to think that hapiness is directly linked with pleasure and the power of avoid risk or responsibities; while for the last two generations hapiness had more to do with struggling, hard work and more important with making other people happy.

My girlfriend, she's cray about he 1-year old nephew, haven't seen that before, but anytime he stays at her home the little guy spoils her sleep completely but sometime she told me that when he falls sleep next to her it worth the lack of sleep and much more, I know she'd die for the him if necessary, in short: She loves him, and that very love makes her happy.

When we base our hapiness in ourselves rather than in other people, even the smallest think can make us very unhappy.

I'm a new stay-at-home mom - my son is 11months old. We had a hard time getting pregnant...it took us several years, so when we finally had my son I thought everything would be blissful. But, I struggled with post-partum depression and had a hard time getting use to my new life as a stay-at-home mom. So, in the beginning it wasn't the bliss I thought it was going to be, and I felt so guilty because we had finally been blessed with a baby. BUT, after working through things and adusting to a new life I can honestly say my son does bring so much hapiness and fulfillment. In fact, my feelings of happiness and contentment out-weighs the not-so-great moments. And that is exactly what they are..."moments." Everything else is so meaningful and fulfilling that you can't help but feel happy and content with that.

So, I don't think the article fully captures both sides. Nobody really knows what it takes to be a parent until in the situation, so I think there are always going to be struggles, adjustments, frustrations...but I think that is part of our growth as a parent. I think there is opposition in all the things we do in this life...including parenting.

Sure I miss being able to travel when we want or go out when we want or having sex when we want, but my husband and I both agree now that we've had a taste of parenthood WE WOULDN'T WANT TO CHANGE A THING.