Having Kids Makes You Happy

Like any difficult, tough, back-breaking, heart-wrenching, soul-searing journey, just the satisfaction of reaching the end may have to be reward enough. That's how I see raising my two daughters. Please think twice about having children if you believe that it will be a fun, joyful experience for you. I have never worked harder and sacrificed more than I did for my daughters - all without a great of gratefulness on their part. I enjoy seeing how my daughters have turned into strong young women and am glad that we have been able to rise above past history to become friends. (Your children will always find some area where you failed as a parent; and I can guarantee you that they will break your heart like no other person in the world can.) I don't think that everyone should have to be a parent - that having children is a requirement to becoming a better or more "grown up" person. Frankly, if more women were really aware and honest about the sacrifices it takes to be a mother, children would become an option instead of an assumption. Would I do it over if I had a choice? I'm glad I don't have to make that decision. If I knew then what I know now, I'm not sure I would have taken that first step. There's a special hell only parents can feel when their children are old enough to make their own decisions and you can't save them from themselves. I spent almost a year not knowing if my youngest daughter was dead or alive due to her drug addiction and refusal to go to rehab. If you think you can prevent this because you'll be a better mom, have at it. You'll need that kind of naiveness to get through each and every day. I am grateful that my daughter turned her life around (which doesn't always happen) and has given me the greatest blessing associated with having kids - my grandson. Again, it's hard to say that the journey was all worth it because of my grandson, but I'll take the good times when they're offered. k3w84321@yahoo.com

I think this is more because of unrealistic expectations than reality itself.

No one's prom or wedding or marriage or sex life or children or job will ever match the skewed picture that Hollywood presents as reality. And I speak as a very satisfied, happily married, career woman and mother of 2.

I have a great husband and wonderful children. I have few if any regrets about any decisions I've ever made...BUT even I find myself periodically comparing myself (to my detriment) with, say, Angelina Jolie or Heidi Klum...THEY never look tired or agravated...

Like I always say...have you ever seen a hollywood sex scene with a wet spot?

I dont agree or disagree. I am happier with children, my best friend is happier without them. I have always been family oriented since I was born pretty much. It was a given that I would grow up and have a family. I am a stay at home mother to two children now and am happily married. I am honestly happy. My best friend has always been career oriented and is very successful in what she does, she is truly happy without kids and with her life. So I think it's the type of person you are Not if you have kids or not.

How exactly do you measure happiness? Isn't it all about perspective? This article could have a completely different spin on it if written by someone who measures happiness in a different way.

At the end of a hard day, my daughter can put on a smile on my face in an instant. I can't say that about a whole lot in my pre-child days. So yeah, I'm happier now than I was before her. Do I think that's the same for everyone? Of course not - that would be very presumptuous of me.

I don't see why everyone is getting so upset about this article. Having or not having children is up to each person - just because someone made a different choice than me doesn't make them wrong, just different. They know their life a lot more than I do. Yes, from my perspective I think people who don't have kids are missing out. But I'm sure those who are childless think the same of me. It's not worth getting upset over something that is all about our own lives and choices!

as a parent of two children I will admit I have wondered what it would be like if my wife and i decided not to have children. things would definitely be a lot easier that's for sure. I would be free to do basically whatever I wanted, succumb to any whim, act on any notion. that kind of freedom can be intoxicating. I mean, how cool would it be to fly off to some far flung destination for a long weekend just because we felt like it? And then I think, how often would we do that, honestly? How fulfilling would it be? I'll never know. However I can tell you how amazing it feels to see your child take her first steps, speak her first words or bring home her first A+ on a test. That kind of feeling comes from nowhere else. I don't care how many trips you take, how many raises you get, there is no greater feeling in the world than seeing your child accomplish, even the smallest of tasks. For me my children give a sense of purpose and direction I have never had in life. And for those of you who think bringing a child into this world is cruel and selfish, sometimes I can almost agree with you. But honestly, if not our children, who else can change the world?

as a parent of two children I will admit I have wondered what it would be like if my wife and i decided not to have children. things would definitely be a lot easier that's for sure. I would be free to do basically whatever I wanted, succumb to any whim, act on any notion. that kind of freedom can be intoxicating. I mean, how cool would it be to fly off to some far flung destination for a long weekend just because we felt like it? And then I think, how often would we do that, honestly? How fulfilling would it be? I'll never know. However I can tell you how amazing it feels to see your child take her first steps, speak her first words or bring home her first A+ on a test. That kind of feeling comes from nowhere else. I don't care how many trips you take, how many raises you get, there is no greater feeling in the world than seeing your child accomplish, even the smallest of tasks. For me my children give a sense of purpose and direction I have never had in life. And for those of you who think bringing a child into this world is cruel and selfish, sometimes I can almost agree with you. But honestly, if not our children, who else can change the world?

Some people are happier with kids (Like me) and some people are happier without them (Like my best friend) I think it all depends on the person. I have been family oriented since I was born, so it was always a given that I would want kids of my own. I have 2 children and a very happy marriage. I'm a stay at home mother. To me life couldn't be better. My friend is very career oriented and is successfull to her life couldnt be better. It all depends on the person.

well, let me tell you. I am a father of 7 . I have full cousity of 5 of thous kids from 2 diferent mothers. these women fought for equal Rights. fine i have no problum with that.. But when am i going to get the child support . Bolth mothers shacked up with a guy and refuses to work. If it was me a ( MAN ) i would be in jail for not paying child suport !!!!! I LOVE kids they make me happy . My kids are little 13,10,8,6,5. I just got remaried ( to my babysitter) and we have a new born. It was hard to find a date when you have 5 kids. Wemon dont want responceability of someones eleses kids. BUT ( men ) dont have a problum with a weman with 5 kids. When ARE MEN going to get the EQUAL Rights ?? Tim ( nadaclu4u@hotmail.com ) or Myspace.com,( myaccordiscool ) 2 see pichures.

I have four children from 2 marriages. I adore my children and was born to be a mother. It is something I have wanted since I can remember. My older sister, on the other hand, has had no children and said she never had a maternal bone in her body. We are both very happy in our lives. I will always have my kids to lean on and she has a great group of friends and lots of nieces and nephews whom she adores!

To have or not to have is the couple???s rights. However if you want to check out the water; them become a foster parent and raise children that needs love, understanding, be a role model and someone that cares about their future. You may decide this is pretty neat and want have some of your own. You can make a difference in the lives of children and they don't have to be your own.

I think there is a spurious correlation here. I would be interested if these studies could be extended outside the US. I think the author gets it right on the money when she says that the overall stress (working outside the home, having no support family or otherwise etc) contributes to these feelings of being overwhelmed. I wonder if these findings would hold in societies where parents receive ample support such as maternity/paternity leave, support for childcare, reasonable school costs etc. I have a child and am expecting another, I also have a demanding career but manage to work flexible hours so I can also enjoy my child. Does this make me more stressed out? Yes! But do I regret having a child? No!!! All the stress gets wiped away when my child says something funny, masters a task he's been working on for days, or just gives me a big hug and kiss. If we had more support for parenting the everyday stresses would be less important.

To have or not to have is the couples rights. However if you want to cjeck out the water; them become a foster parent and raise children that needs love, understanding, be a role model and someone that cares about their future. You may decide this is pretty neat and want have some of your own. You can make a difference in the lives of children and they don't have to be your own.

Its amazing how intelligent people can spent so much time researching something like this. Everybody is different and we all have our own definition of how much happiness havies babies will bring us. And that includes the number of children too. The key is to have both spouses in agreement. Relationships will sour if both are not in agreement and that is the key. Everything else is irrelevant.

My husband adamantly did not want to have kids and I was ambivalent. I love him more than the thought of having kids so I said fine no problem. People just don't seem to understand that this is okay. He comes from a religious family and I guess there's something in the Bible telling us to go out and populate the Earth but hey it's 2008 now and we're pretty populated already thanks! Between health issues, hereditary issues and career changes, it just wasn't in the kids for us and that's okay. Me I like kids so my solution is to work with them. Hence the career change starting with grad school this fall. While I will be happier when I graduate and get my career going and can move, I am happy. That's not to say that people with kids aren't happy. I don't think the 2 should be compared, ever. I just find it gratifying that finally some research has shown that there's nothing wrong with not having kids. See we ARE normal!

Sure I have lost some of my freedom, but it has been replaced with unconditional love and unbelievable emotions I never knew I could obtain. My daughter has given me the gift of true bliss whenever I am around her. Even through the hard days she is my light. It is up to you if you want to have kids or not. Some people have always wanted to travel, I have always wanted to be a mom. I love seeing everyday through her eyes, its like seeing it for the first time again. Like when she notices the moon. The pure joy of being able to see that makes me think and I don't take things for granted as much anymore.

I have to agree that married people without kids are probably happier. I know my husband and I were. I love my kids who are now 20 & 22 but if I had to do it over again I think we would have chosen to remain childless. Sure there were wonderful times but once they got older & started school, it became less wonderful. Perhaps if my husband and I shared a parenting style it would have been less difficult but it's too late now. When you really think about it do people have children for the right reasons or just because it is expected of them?

I think it's ok for couples not to have children if they choose not to. Why bring them into the world and make your lives and theirs unhappy if they are not wanted. Not all adults are cut out to be parents, I think it's smart to know if you want children or not. There are too many orphans in the world already. Why make more.

NickiDrea-good luck sweetie. Just wait. You'll be eating those words...