Having Kids Makes You Happy

The article doesn't really consider the long-term joys of children and grandchildren, just the immediate sacrifice. As such, it is a worthless inquiry. The author might just as well have asked, "Is it fun to save for retirement?" Well . . . no, it isn't. But that doesn't mean it isn't worthwhile in the long run. You could easily interview people who will tell you how unpleasant it is to sacrifice now to save for retirement later. You could point out all of the things people could buy now, instead of saving for retirement. What a waste of paper that would be.

I am very sorry for couples who have the health and ability to support a family, yet deliberately choose not to have children so that they can enjoy their own selfish pursuits. They don't realize that they are giving up one of the only true joys in life now, and relinquishing all family enjoyment in their old age. They will never know the happiness of seeing a child take his first step , the proud moment of seeing a daughter graduate from college, the joy of a sloppy kiss from a grandchild, or the satisfaction of leaving a legacy through your posterity. Who will visit them in the nursing home? Who will morn when they are gone? They may be having fun now, but their future is bleak and lonely.

"As for everyone minding their own business, that's nonsense. Our decisions to have or not have children are directly impacting everyone's future. Unless you do not care about the future, it is very much everyone's business, at least enough so that an opinion should be voiced."

I've got news for you.... child-free people have been around for a long time, and have not affected or impaired the continuation of the species. There will always be people having children, so don't worry about the human race if a few of us choose not to have children. Besides, I married a man with 4 kids, so I have a close enough experience to parenting.

Nor is there an over-population problem, as the other extreme keeps talking about. This country couldn't even get enough people to do Hands Across America because of all the unpopulated areas in the midwest.

As I said, live your lives minding your own business and don't worry about what some stranger on a message board thinks of your decisions. Your choices are not for everyone.

hear hear user432. cause clearly you "guru" are teaching your own kids good things like telling people they should have been left in a dumpster. did you ever stop and think that maybe the world is such a bad place because of people like you? that maybe you don't know everything and shouldn't be preaching to others? "the rest of us can be content with a few more people to serve us" you are twisted and sick. no wonder you hold these opinions.. you clearly think extremely highly of yourself. I hope your kids hate you.

I agree with those who think that Guru's comments are skewed.

"I'm sure that pandas used that same logic... You're dense."

I think the assumption that pandas are capable of logic and made conscious decisions not to have children marks a more dense mind than mine. When did pandas start using birth control? In fact, is the extinction of any prior species linked to birth control or even lack of sex?

If having kids will bring me to your level of intelligence, I'll pass.

And I also find the concept that you can't be smart unless you have kids as highly offensive to infertile couples.

Sorry, my last post was a reply to Guru. It didn't get attached to my original post where I mentioned many well-known selfless childfree people such as Mother Theresa and Ophra Winfrey who were/are childfree by choice but devoted their lives to helping people. Guru responded they were selfish and lazy because they were childfree.

i don't think we should be focusing on whether a child makes you 7% less happy. (what exactly would 7% less happiness feel like, anyway? would i notice the difference between 5% and 7%, or 7% and 10%?) what i would like to see is a world in which i am not regarded as a child-hating, non-woman freak/serial killer because i choose to be childless (or childfree). in order to avoid contempt, and once even violence, from coworkers and acquaintances, i have to tell people that i am infertile. admitting to being willfully without child is an invitation to abuse in this country. just for the record: i love children. i ask to babysit my neices and nephews, i smile and wave to stranger's babies, and coo over baby pictures just like everyone else. i do not have a selfish need to "keep my figure", i am not "afraid of the pain", and my husband is not an abuser. these are just a small sample of the responses i get from people, but god forbid i ask someone why they would actually want 6 children, or children spaced a year apart, etc. there's a lid for every pot, as they say, so let's just assume that people have good reasons for the decisions they make and leave it at that.

The term "childless" implies something of value is missing. This is conclusory. The more appropriate term is "child-free."

Parenting is not easy by any means, but it is very beautiful. The many sacrifices parents make deserve our appreciation. Certainly, our current social conditions raise additional challenges for parents. It is difficult to balance careers with family time. However, parents devoting themselves selflessly to their families even in the most difficult times is extremely rewarding and beautiful.

this article is ridiculous. it completely misses the point that having kids is not about making YOURSELF happy. it's about putting OTHER PEOPLE'S needs before your own. it's about sacrifice and yeah you're going to be tired and you won't get to what YOU want to do most of the time. the message of this article is basically: oh no, people actually have to make sacrifices when they have kids?!?! that doesn't sound very fun! i wanted my whole entire life to be about me me ME. i want to make ME happy! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!"

I am a 47 year old mother of 3 kids, ages 9, 11 and 13. They are by far the greatest stressor in my life with rewards being far and few between. For those brave enough to not have kids, the term "childfree" is a much better description than "childless". Kudos.

So sorry to read this article. Once again, it confirms the "it's all about me" mentality in our culture. Children are a lot of work, stress and sometimes just a royal pain in the neck. Yes, I do have a couple teenagers right now, and am pregnant with #6. My scope is much bigger then the here and now though. These people who are happily married and want none to do with those nasty, dirty little kids..I have a question for you. What will you do when you are aged and your spouse dies? Your parents are gone, and if you had any siblings, they could be gone too? What then? I have observed and seen both ways. I knew an elderly couple who were childless and so in love. They were high school sweethearts in the 30's and married. Had a wonderful marriage, one of the best I've ever seen. But when the wife died, leaving the husband old and alone it was terrible. He had NO ONE. They happened to be our neighbor while I was growing up and my mother (a mother of 5 by the way) took him under her wing, fed him dinner every night and helped care for him while he was sick. While this was very nice of her, we still were not family and I'm sad to say it was not the same for him as family would have been. It was really sad to see how lonely he was. On the other hand, my mother and my husband's g-ma both came from large families. What a difference. There's always family around. My husband's g-ma is 88 years old. Her husband died at 51. She still has siblings and the love of her three children and all of us grandkids. At 88 she still has a rich and full, and joyful life. You see, it's NOT all about the here and now, and it's not even all about "ME". We're all here for each other. When our focus becomes so self centered, yes, you can have happiness, but how lasting in the wake of changing circumstances? I look at all the work I put into my children as an investment for the future. They will have each other when we are dead and gone. (My husband absolutely LOVE our siblings and are so thankful to have them, how RICH we are!!!) I KNOW our parents are thankful to have us children, since one has parkinson's and another has had many struggles with brain tumors. What would our parents do at this point without us?? WE are returning the investment they put into us when we were young. LIFE is important and each person is special. When we reject the gift of children because they are "expensive" or because they are an "inconvenience". How sad. Children are a gift from God. We need to wake up and acknowledge that fact, and quit focusing so much on what WE think will make us happy.

I think that there is pressure b/c misery loves company. Why should anyone be: free, rich, happy, well rested? I'm not! It's not as if they can recant, the parents. They are in it for the long haul, whether ofr not the marriage survives. Even divorced parents are linked by that indissoluble bond custody and child support. I say, parents, you made your bed, so sleep in it. And quit your whining.

I think it's not all black and white. Sure, kids can make life hectic and expensive, but there are so many moments that are experienced in raising children that the childless will never have. In my opinion, it's worth it to skate over the hardsihps. No one ever said child raising is easy. That doesn't make it a bad thing as a whole. Plus, having kids in your life makes life a little more exciting. You never know what they're going to bring into your life.

Some people are so self centered..they miss the point. Raising children is the future....The only future. It is the only job that is really important.... I have a very succesful business life, participate in the community, help where I can, but the greatest accomplishment in my life is the raising on my children. They are the future, and that is what matters most.