Having Kids Makes You Happy

Wow. Who did these researchers talk to? My mom has three daughter- I am the youngest and I just turned 26, my middle sister is turning 36 this year, and my oldest sister is 39. My two sisters are the product of my mom's first marriage and they were adopted by my father, but I am my father's only biological child.

My mother, who is a Vice President at a large PBM (Pharmaceutical Benefit Manager) says that her children have been the joy of her life. Although we all took different paths in life- my oldest sister is a housewife with four kids; my middle sister is a working single mom (by choice), and I am a lawyer getting married next year- my mom says that she loves us equally and cannot imagine never having children. She is very proud of all of us and she says that we make her extremely happy.

As far as my dad, he says that I am the "love of his life" and he puts me on the highest pedestal. My dad was ecstatic at being a dad- my mom says that he cried hysterically when I was born, and since Day One he has be happy to put me first in his life. He is EXTREMELY proud of me, brags about me all the time, and wants me to be happy all the time. He can't stand to see me upset and will do whatever he can to make me smile. I honestly believe that I am his favorite person in the world (he is certainly one of mine). If my dad saw this article he would think it was ridiculous. He wanted more kids after me, the only reason my parents didn't have more kids was that my mom already had two from a prior marriage and didn't want to have any more.

Of course, I don't have kids yet, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about... however, for now, I want at least three kids... and I will have them starting in 2010, since I'm getting married in 2009.

Good God! What a lot of venom you people direct toward childless couples. We're self-absorbed, selfish, scared of commitment, social security parasites, dooming the human race to destruction through not reproducing, pretentious, and the worst of all ... LIBERAL !!!! Ooooo!
My wife & I tried for several years to have a kid or adopt one. After miscarriages, thousands spent on fertilization failures, and two very painful failed adoption experiences we finally said 'Screw it ! There's gotta be a way to find happiness & fulfillment in our lives besides creating or acquiring a child." We made that decision several years ago & have no regrets.
Self-absorbed? We've gone through a particular kind of pain & loss that fertile people can't relate to & have no right to judge.
Selfish? Our childless freedom has given us the opportunity to move across country to assist in caretaking for a terminally ill family member.
Social security parasites? Aha! You the reason YOU had kids is so you can mooch off THEM when you're old. Who's the parasite NOW?
Destroying the human race? Our non-contribution of 2.3 kids will be MORE than offset by all those Quiverfull families having 10 or 12 kids. As a matter of fact, with global population closing in on 7 billion, I wish MORE people opted for no children.
Liberal? Why, yes I am. What's THAT got to do with it?
I've seen plenty of parents with lousy relationships with their kids. I've seen parents' hearts broken through the loss of a child. Not all of you are the Brady Bunch. Children are, more often than not, a wonderful thing to their parents, but children are no guarantee of happiness or fulfillment. The only true way to find happiness & fulfullment is to find it within yourself.

I wholeheartedly agree with this article. I have a 2 year old and 4 month old, and I can tell you I am not happy spending my days with them. I am staying at home because daycare costs outweigh my earning potential, and I am depressed, tired, angry and so ready to get out of the house. I have to say my marriage is worse than before kids. My attitude and outlook on life is lower, and I do not like myself after kids. I love my two kids with all of my heart and would never give them up now that I have them, but if I really knew what parenthood was all about (I'm an only child, mind you), I may never have had children--ever.

children are a pain in the butt. But, good children, grow up to take care of their beloved parents who brought them into the world. You might be enjoying your child free life in your 20s through your middle ages. But, Trust me, when you are 70-80 years old with no one to take care of you, you will be depressed as hell as you wither away in a nursery home. I've worked at a nursing home, and it is depressing to see the elderly have no one come visit them or take care of them. When i get a stable job, i'm going to take care of my parents and make sure that their last years are filled with happy memories. That is the least i can do to pay back for their unconditional love :)

To each his (or her) own. I agree with BDaDDy's comments that there are different types of happiness, some fleeting, some more substantial and lasting. As for me, I get both. Nothing makes me happier than when I'm traveling for work and I get a chance to look at pictures of my 3 kids and think about how fortunate I am that when I get home, all three will join in a resounding chorus of, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!". Or, times like just last night when I spent the evening playing on a blanket in our living room (the blanket was our boat and my 3 were characters from the latest Indiana Jones movie - my 2-year-old got to be Indiana).

I'm pretty "rock-steady" in the emotions department but I've been known to shed a tear or two as well. Like when my daughter, again just yesterday, explained how she came to know God hears her prayers (she's seven). Oh, I can't forget about Saturday when my wife and kids dragged me to a small, local parade. I was blown away to watch my kids who were franticly chasing the candy that was thrown out, turn to share their haul with other kids (some that they didn't even know) that were a little slower in snatching candy for themselves. That's just a small percent of the joys I experienced just this weekend. Can you believe I get to live like that everyday? Sometimes I can't believe it.

So, for me - you bet! My kids aren't my only source of happiness but they sure are my favorite source. I realize not everyone gets the same joy and happiness from being around those of the perpetual snotty nose (yes, I do have to admit that in spite of being great kids, there does seem to be an inordinate amount of snot sometimes). That's okay - no one says that to be a good person you have to find happiness in your kids. For that matter no one says you have to even like them. It's too bad that there are so many kids whose parents don't find joy in everything they do.

I'll make a deal with anyone in that category. If you feel like you'd be happier without your kids (and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that), send them my way. I'd be HAPPY to have them!

richwebb_2@comcast.net

If surveys were of an honest degree of fair opinion, this would be acceptable. We all have an opinion, I do not agree with the artical nor care for someone who has thoughts written in press to destoy family. remember they write hamfull things to recieve reaction...

And I also think that it's a very, very personal decision. It's WAY better for all parties if a couple decides NOT to have kids and then later changes their minds...rather than the other way around. All one needs to do is read a local newspaper to know that MANY people have children who have NO idea of how to take care of them...

There is no perfect answer. Only the one that makes sense to the 2 people involved.

The premise of the question, "Do kids make you happier?", shows the selfish attitude that we have. It insinuates that the entire purpose of life is to make ourselves happy. Nowhere in the article did I read anything about giving another human being a chance at life as being a factor in bearing children. We need to realize that life is not all about us all the time. Having children may not make your life more enjoyable, but it gives another person a chance to experience life. I wish we could get over the ???what???s best for me is best??? attitude.

Are you kidding me? Not having kids is the best decision I've ever made! I travel around the world, I can get up and go whenever I want, do anything I want, I'm well educated, and very well grounded. Why do people have this "myth" that children are suppose to complete you? That's as foolish as saying marriage is supposed to complete you. I can get a dog, and have a less expensive, more loyal companion than either a child or a spouse. I love the kids around me, my friends and family-I spoil the heck out of them, and it's great!
At the end of the day, they go home to their chaos, and I'm left in the peace, quiet, comfort, and cleanliness of my home. It's a great life! It's selfish that's for sure. But so what? Who is anyone to tell you how to live your own life. Besides that, by not breeding, I'm certainly doing my part for Global Warming. I think people who don't produce more people should get some kind of tax break, or something! We deserve a lot more than sympathy, which is actually hillarious to me, considering that the people I know who are childless are always healthy, wealthy, and happy.

Maybe our life style needs to change. I think in general Americans base their happyness on what material posessions they have or don't have. Also think of the happiness that grandchildren bring which I hear is even greater than your own children. It maybe how we raise our children that is resulting in our own sorrow when we reap what we sow in poor parenting in this day and age.

This study doesn't take into account the benefits of having children, like having family to be there for you in your old age, or to give you grandkids to spoil when you are older and have nothing better to do. They help give life purpose.