Having Kids Makes You Happy

It is difficult. There are sleepless nights. There is an added stress. BUT there is no better natural high than when your child says I love you. Learns something new and shares with you their excitement. There is no greater love or enjoyment in the world than "a bundle of joy." That phrase is definately correct. I have lived well without kids. I live better with them. Studies are great for debate, but the missing variable that cannot be explained in any study is that those without kids, can never know if they are more happy without them. They have never experienced a bundle of joy.

When I get older I want to be surrounded by family. Children, Grandchildren, Great grandchildren. I am married to the love of my life, and couldn't imagine not creating a family with him. Not having a family around would make me sad...personally.

My husband and I are childless by choice. Setting aside all of the comments about being selfish etc., it always amazes me that parents want to paint our decision as an 'easy one.' How easy do you suppose it is to constantly be judged--looked upon as though we are crazy, selfish or unfeeling (just take a look at many of these postings)? Do you suppose it's easy when many of our friends stopped calling us once they become parents because we are (seemingly) no longer worthy of their friendship simply because we cannot commiserate over diaper changes, ear infections, soccer games and saving for college? ???This despite our repeated (discrete) assurances and demonstrations that we really DO like their children and we really DON'T mind having them join us when we visit. For us it comes down to this, we simply are not compelled to have kids. We love kids and spend time spoiling our nieces and nephews; one does not have to give birth to a child to have an impact on a child, so that's what we are compelled to do....simple (and easy) as that.

It is as simple as this. If you don't have at least one child you have selected yourself for extinction. Your genes will not exist in the next generation. So, to all those people who have chosen to end their line of life that goes back till the beginning of life itself, I thank you, my children thank you, and my children???s children will thank you. Your choice has left more resources and more opportunities for my off spring. In our society it seems that the most educated and sometimes successful people seem their genes are not worthy to make it to the next generation while the least educated have the most offspring. In my mind this pseudo intellectualism is a form of natural selection. When post graduate students become extinct the high school dropouts will rule the world. If you saw a lion in the jungle that didn't care if drop his seed into a fertile female you would probably pity the poor beast, just as I pity those humans who have made the same choice.

Now that I have a child, I feel that overwhelming love and joy and I wouldn't give it back, not in a million years, however, we WANTED to have kids and having him was absolutely our CHOICE just the same as those who choose NOT to have children. I think that if they've decided truly in their hearts they would rather not travel that very challenging and complicated path in life, then they have made a wise decision for themselves and the kids that would have been. Like I said, I love my son and I am now pregnant with my second child, but I can definitely testify to being less satisfied in my marriage at times, and generally feeling sad because I can't be as spontaneous as I would like to be...I can totally support those who choose not to have kids. For me, my heart just yearned for children and even now as I struggle through the terrible two's ("terrible" is a VERY light way of putting it!), I have chosen to have another little one because I am a mom...that's just me...and I am no more special nor stronger or smarter and certainly not happier than people without kids.

So, lay off ladyfja, Dave in NM. I don't know where you got "bitter", but maybe you could share whatever happy pills you're on that make you blind to the struggles of parenting others foresee and smartly make the decision to avoid if that is what they chose not to tackle.

My husband and I went through the agony of fertility issues and finally had our first child 2 years ago. I have to say that I am glad someone finally said these things. When going through the stage of not having a child I felt I was missing out on something and I also like people expected us to have kids. While I love LOVE LOVE my daughter- I am in no hurry to have any more children. Frankly, I miss my husband. Our world revolves around our child and I'm not saying that is a bad thing- it is just different. I think it is about time we start being honest with ourselves and each other about just how much you LOSE in addition to the tremendous GAIN that comes with having children. Saying it is hard work and quite possibly not for everyone takes courage and it doesn't make us bad parents.

If you want kids, and are able to have them, you will probably be happy. Likewise, if you don't really want kids you will probably be happier without them. Why must everything be a competition? Live and let live, it's a free country, different strokes for different folks, yada yada. I think it might be more accurate to widen the observations in this article and conject that those who live their lives the way they want to live it are happier than those who live their lives to conform to some external societal or family expectations. There is no one "right way" for humans to live.

How can you experience true unconditional love if you don't have children? People who do not have kids have NO idea what being a parent is, and since they have NO children cannot voice their opinions on the feelings parents have for their children. Yes, unfortunatly there are bad parents in this world, but for those of us who adore our children, happiness is just one word we can use to express the way we feel about having kids. As for the world and the dangers that we are faced with, life is an evolutionary process, I couldn't imagine people not having children because of the possibility of war, destruction, crime, etc. These are things that have been happening since the beginning of time. You should never be afraid to live and to give life! God said that he knew us before we were born. There is a purpose and a place for each and every one of us. If you have true faith, your life with children or without children, will be filled with happiness!

I guess if you don't have children by choice, you might be happier. What about those that want children but can't have them. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that I am not happy being childless, not even one iota. I think perhaps the problem for these "not as happy parents", might be that it came too easy for them to become parents. They have no appreciation for the gifts that have been bestowed upon them.

My husband and I had decided we didn't want children before we'd even met, so that was huge plus for both of us. I prefer to consider myself child-free rather than childless. We absolultely adore our nieces and newphews as well as chlidren of our close friends. I feel that we are able to better love the children around us since we don't have any. We are extremly happy & content (14 yrs marriage) and have our own version of kids in two parrots and two dogs.

I think that your decision to have or not to have children is completely up to you. Weather you live happy without them or with them is entirely up to you. I respect the childless group hating being stereotyped, for we should all learn to accept and respect others' decisions and choices. I also think that this group needs to have more respect the future of this world-our kids-and not express about them as some burden to society for we the parents provide for them and also pay taxes.

This is a subject close to my heart and all the comments posted here are familiar. I knew from a young age that I never wanted kids. I'm 59 now and so am not getting the question "how many kids do you have" but am getting the "how many grandkids do you have". I long ago started replying that we are "childless by choice " to ward off the sympathetic looks and the offers of adoption information. Many times that comment alone brings conversation to a halt with women who dont know me well. Many times I've heard that it is a selfish choice to make. My hubby and I have been very happy for 32 years now and I've never regretted not having kids. I too think it is wrong to judge people who make this choice...as it is wrong to judge people who bring kids into this world. Good grief, where would we be if we all made the choice I made? Let's all just make our own choices and let others do the same.

At first I could not believe this article, but I can understand. However, after 10 childless years of marriage and travelling half-way around the world to adopt our two daughters (yes, we got to pick the gender) we obviously and definately wanted our children - then and now (it will be 11 years this October). I would choose spending time with my children over almost anything. Whether it is playing a game, helping with homework and projects, trying new hair and clothing styles, reading, watching one of their movies, going to the opera or a Disney On Ice production, splashing in the pool, taking walks, supervising chores, etc. I enjoy being with them. I am often rightly accused by them and their friends as being silly or crazy but that is fine with me as they also know the limits and when I am not playing or joking around. I think children should know that their parents enjoy them - not just love them. I think they need to see us having a good time without drinking and express different emotions without using inappropriate language. If not, will they want to grow up and become adults? Will they know how to enjoy life without drinking, smoking, or other inappropriate behaviors? Will they know how to effectively express ideas and feelings in the adult world? We have friends and lots of family members who share these same values so they get lots of role models and reinforcement for such behavior. My daughters are typical pre-teen girls. Yes, they get mouthy, sassy and have an "attitude" at times but this is a normal stage of development. Each stage has elements that are different yet enjoyable so I have always liked parenting know ing that the undesirable phases (like dirty diapers, etc.) would also pass as they grew.

I think those that do not want children are wise to know themselves and it is probably best that they don't. Just like not everyone is meant to be married, not every couple is meant to have children. However, I wish that those who do and have chosen to have children will take a look at it and make sure they do something everyday to just enjoy them. There are no guarantees that they will still be here tomorrow or that you will be here.

May God bless all of us.