A Serious Undertaking

I think that for what the funeral directors, embalmers and employees have to go through they have every right to charge what they do. My husband is a funeral director and embalmer, most of the time he is out all night and then works all day and this will go for 4-5 days straight like that. They miss out on their family events have to let loved ones down all the time because they have to go on a call or meet witha family etc. etc. Then when the services start are kept out late because people stay at the funeral home. Time and services are in those prices that they quote, people need to realize that. Remember there is always two ways to look at things,

I have been appaled to see how little the funeral undustry is regulated. The insurance commission of the state will tell you there are regulations set in place in 2002. Not so. I just lost a friend who had a pre-arranged funeral and learned upon his death that the funeral home that was in business since 1898 in Ensley and
Bessemer, AL went out of business in 2004. I had to pay for his funeral out of pocket. i am told my only recourse is to hire an attorney, Don't think so , as the owner filed bankruptcy.I do think it is our local newspapers responsibility to make this known, to no avail. They do not seem to think it is very important. Everyone considering a pre-need funeral must do some homework and hope for the best because they can sure get away with your money with no consequences.

There's another longer article, by the same author, about the death-care industry up at www.thestranger.com.

There's another story up about the funeral business, by the same author, at www.thestranger.com.

There was a very thought-provoking documentary put out in 2003 entitled *A Family Undertaking* regarding the subject of home funerals. I viewed it through Netflix's instant download, but a DVD is also available. Look at your local library or video store also. I'd prefer this option, but hubby and kids won't agree. www.ehomebody.com/blog

Posted by: dorry@circleoflifeceremonies.com
Comment: I am proud to say I am a Funeral Celebrant colleague of Donna Belk mentioned in the beginning of this article. Besides, her training as a life-cycle ceremonies specialist she is also an expert on home funerals. My comment is about what funeral celebrancy offers. Celebrancy is a 30 year Australian tradition which places special attention on personalizing the experience of ceremony with words and rituals. We create funeral and memorial services for the families that choose to work with us in a way that is meaningful and significant for them. We spend hours meeting with the family and then handcraft the service with the prayers and readings which honor and celebrate their loved one's life, personality, beliefs, wishes and most of all their truth. The family sees every word beforehand and enters this threshold (where hardly anyone wants to find themself) with support, comfort and understanding. After the last words are spoken, I believe the family and friends depart in a space that allows the next stage of mourning and grieving to begin -- but with a sense of care and comfort surrounding them. The Celebrant Foundation & Institute has educated and certified over 400 celebrants throughout North America. The training is demanding and the curriculum is excellent. We appreciate the opportunity to serve and collaborate with funeral homes, or to officiate where-ever the family desires. We feel it's important for all of us to engage in this conversation about death and dying: funeral homes, the deathcare industry, caregivers, hospice, babyboomers, seniors, the home funeral movement and the funeral alliances. As in any industry, most perform their jobs with dignity and integrity. As funeral celebrants, we are dedicated to providing funeral celebrant services to any and all who resonate . www.celebrantusa.org

I worked in the mortuary industry for two years as an apprentice funeral director and embalmer. Like any competitive industry, it brings the faithful and unfaithful. It pays to do your homework and find out which mortuary in your home town is not owned by one of the "big fours" mentioned in the article. I advise that you go with a family owned business for best results. But even then there are the unfaithful, so do your home work and listen to other people in your community for recommendations. By state law, you have the right to go in to a mortuary and pick up a printed price list, no obligations. Consult with your state mortuary board and find out what is mandated by your state law in regards to embalming and other funeral professional services. I know that for Oregon and Washington, emalming is not required by state law unless there will be a open casket for {public} viewing. For obtaining a casket, yes, there are many alternatives to purchasing a high priced one from the morturary. Costco sells burial and cremations containers at reasonable prices. When my father passed on, my brother and I built his casket. There are individuals out there that build beautiful hand made wooden caskets between 700 hundred dollars on up. Again, do your homework and find out what is available. Even go visit several mortuaries in your home town and talk with funeral directors to see what is repetitive and what stands out as peciluar. I know for many that is unthinkable due to the nature of talking death and the business, but this is reality. And it is important to know what is a neccessity and what is optional so you don't get taken advantaged. I like the article in the fact that it brings awareness, but it exagerates in some places. One option to save cost on your funeral or loved one is to purchase a Pre-Plan Funeral. This allows you to purchase a funeral package at todays prices and that price is secured at your time of death. So please, I would like for everyone to have a pleasant experience in a rather difficult time; do your homework and be educated so you are prepared and in turn can educate others.

I worked in the mortuary industry for two years as an apprentice funeral director and embalmer. Like any competitive industry, it brings the faithful and unfaithful. It pays to do your homework and find out which mortuary in your home town is not owned by one of the "big fours" mentioned in the article. I advise that you go with a family owned business for best results. But even then there are the unfaithful, so do your home work and listen to other people in your community for recommendations. By state law, you have the right to go in to a mortuary and pick up a printed price list, no obligations. Consult with your state mortuary board and find out what is mandated by your state law in regards to embalming and other funeral professional services. I know that for Oregon and Washington, emalming is not required by state law unless there will be a open casket for {public} viewing. For obtaining a casket, yes, there are many alternatives to purchasing a high priced one from the morturary. Costco sells burial and cremations containers at reasonable prices. When my father passed on, my brother and I built his casket. There are individuals out there that build beautiful hand made wooden caskets between 700 hundred dollars on up. Again, do your homework and find out what is available. Even go visit several mortuaries in your home town and talk with funeral directors to see what is repetitive and what stands out as peciluar. I know for many that is unthinkable due to the nature of talking death and the business, but this is reality. And it is important to know what is a neccessity and what is optional so you don't get taken advantaged. I like the article in the fact that it brings awareness, but it exagerates in some places. One option to save cost on your funeral or loved one is to purchase a Pre-Plan Funeral. This allows you to purchase a funeral package at todays prices and that price is secured at your time of death. So please, I would like for everyone to have a pleasant experience in a rather difficult time; do your homework and be educated so you are prepared and in turn can educate others.

I recently read a great article that said that we, as a society, have been uncomfortable around the subject of death for a long time. For something that is absolutely certain in life, it's important to try to find comfort and peace around this topic, since there's no escaping it.. Shine On Brightly is a new company that offers beautiful objects to help us celebrate the spirit of those whom we have loved. For a comforting, aesthetically wonderful experience, visit www.shineonbrightly.com

In Response to yugrac...These Funeral Folks who helped with your father in law took advantage. Many Funeral Directors and others are working very hard to change things. The truth is known by the general public and it will change

Make your wishes known. For me it will be cremation, I have told my family I dont want people parading past my dead body saying i look good when I am dead.
I am delighted that there are people out there who are willing to save me from myself. I dont know how i came up with anything on my own.

Yeah, I'm really sure that there's going to be a huge change in this totally corrupt and despicable industry! What a joke. There's always some group of "activists" that are gonna change the world, but it just keeps changing for the worse.

Nins - your comments have no relevance to the discussion of people who have no need of health care, but have moved to another level. Regardless of the merit of your argument, it is in appropriate for this discussion. Thank you

Funeral homes do a lot more than most people realize. ???They want full-time pay for part-time work.??? Really? Do you realize that funeral directors are on-call 24/7, work holidays, weekends, and have virtually no chance at family vacations? They have no unions to protect them, and unless they work for big companies, usually have no benefits. They do this all for YOU???to be available to you in your time of need, when you have all those questions that you never thought you???d have to deal with.

Or how about this: do you even know how to fill out and file for a death certificate in your hometown? Do you want to spend your time and fuel getting a doctor to sign it? What if he goes on vacation the day after death? What if the health department rejects the causes of death because they are not in line with the CDC and you have to do the whole process over again? What are you going to do then? Wait with the dead body in your living room?

Or how about if your dad or husband dies unexpectedly, say in a car accident? Are you going to go pick them up at 3am and bring them back home? Do you think the police does this for you? Do you think your local morgue (in a hospital) or coroner is going to keep that body in its cooler for free until you decide what to do?

And let???s pretend for a moment - for the sake of simplicity - that you don???t want a ???viewing??? or visitation, that you don???t need any bathing, restoration, or special preparation of that person you love so much, pretend you just want a simple burial or cremation. Do you know how to secure a burial permit? Do you feel comfortable, in your time of grieving, to negotiate a time and date with your local cemetery? Are you going to place an obituary? Do you know the local paper???s submission deadline? Do you know where your local crematory is? Do you know how to prepare an authorization for cremation that the crematory will demand? Are you going to transport your mom or wife to the cemetery or to the crematory in your own car or truck?

Are you even the legal next of kin? What if you have sisters or brothers that don???t want the same disposition of your mom as you do? Did you know the crematory might legally be able to refuse to cremate? Then what are you going to do? Keep mom - again - in your living room on dry ice until you all come to an agreement?

These are only a few examples of what funeral homes and funeral directors know and do to make death easier to deal with FOR YOU. Unfortunately, the above examples are not exaggerations of the complexity of death???they just scratch the surface of what funeral homes deal with every day. I???m all for people being more educated and aware of their choices???but that must start with people truly understanding what funeral professionals do for them.

Did you know that if McCain is elected you will have to pay income tax on the value of the medical insurance that your employer gives you? Worse still, he is offering a tax break for people who pay their own insurance, BUT only $2,500 for individuals and $5,000 for families.

Let's say you have a family of four. Your insurance policy costs would be at least $1,500-2,500 per month under a self-pay plan, which cost more than employer group plans. So, you pay $18,000 -$30,000 per year for insurance, and you get to deduct only $5,000 of that. If you paid $25,000 for you insurance, you would be out of pocket $20,000 per year. This is FAR WORSE than the current system, where if you are self employed you can deduct 100% of you medical insurance costs.

So, if you're not self employed, you would stick with your Employer's plan. Employer plans for a family of four have a value of $900-$1,500 per month totaling 10,800-$18,000 per year. Surprise! On April 15th, you owe tax on all of that as INCOME to you. Say your bracket is 25%, and the value of your Employer medical plan is $14,000. You will OWE THE IRS an additional $3,500, and that's ON TOP of whatever monthly premium you already pay to your employer for your insurance.

Many analysts say that McCain's new rules would encourage employers to stop offering health benefits. If that happened, then far fewer Americans would be insured than are insured today, because what family of four can afford $18,000-$30,000 out of pocket per year for self-pay health insurance?

Furthermore, McCain's plan does not require insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions of people who self-pay their insurance. People under employer group plans have all of their pre-existing conditions covered. This is a hugely unfair aspect of the current system. Insurance companies can afford to cover the pre-existing conditions of the much larger pool of people with group insurance, but they refuse to pay the pre-existing conditions on the smaller pool of self-pay customers. They have been allowed to price gouge the self-pay customers, which is a form of market manipulation that should be illegal.

So let's say one of your kids had diabetes and you have high blood pressure, then your employer stops offering insurance. You now have to buy your own, but you and your child are INELIGIBLE due to pre-existing conditions. Oh, yeah, they will let you buy the insurance, but you can't use it for any pre-existing condition until you have paid on time every month for two years. And you know what happens at one year and 11 months? You get a letter saying your policy has been cancelled. I have many patients this has happened to.

McCain's plan SUCKS.

It does nothing to help middle class working Americans afford or obtain medical insurance. In fact, it makes the current system WORSE.

Let's separate fiction from fact. This harkens back to ancient Egypt. Fantasy trying to achieve a false reality of immortality. Embalming became popular during the Civil War so soldiers bodies could be returned to their homes for burial. My Mother, father and Grandparent's were brought back for the visitation and private family service to their home. That is what they wanted. I want green burial. I have watched an embalming. Desecration of a body. We are shamed into honoring our dead ones. Didn't they look natural? What beautiful flowers. How big is the tombstone. How many cars in the funeral procession. I ask: Did they die peacefully in their own beds? Do you realize they will return to dust even if it is delayed. Read "Tract" by William Carlos Williams. The body is a shell for the spirit that exists in all of us and makes us alive. Treat the human being's shell with respect, but do it naturally without increasing the carbon footprint for them or their loved ones. Return them to the earth and keep your memories to pass on to others. Village smithies and buggy whip manufacturers had to adapt to the marketplace. Perhaps some others need to adapt also to a greener, more realistic world.