I completely understand how you feel, my Mom and Stepdad are closer now finally and I know that time is not in their favor. Things are at least a little better now since I got them out of a nursing home and found a home care giver for them. I friend of mine had told me about being able to find senior / elder care that would come to your house, but I had no idea how easy it was to find. I went to the site she mentioned http://findinghomecare.com and was very pleased with the results. I know feel less guilty and better about the quality of thier lives, now that I have a trained specialized care giver. They have helped me add a registered nurse now as well, as their needs progress. Anyway, I just feel better/happier knowing I am doing the right thing and that they are close to my home and of course close to my heart. If anyone is needing help, I would sure check them out, they seem nice, professional and eager to help me in finding homecare.
Bringing Home Mom and Dad
I knew it was the right time for my parents to move closer to me. But I had no idea how to prepare for it.
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I hadn't been pregnant in 20 years, but this was planned just as my previous pregnancies had been. For no logical reason, I woke up one day and knew that it was correct; my entire being knew it was precisely the right time. Of course, the clarity was subtly infiltrated with uncertainties and fears as soon as the decision was made.
When I woke up that morning a little more than a year ago, I knew it was time to ask my parents to move closer to me. By closer, I mean 1,300 miles closer—all the way from suburban Philadelphia to Lincoln, Neb. The logistics, both geographically and culturally, were overwhelming. The distance between the East Coast and the Midwest had never seemed so vast.
I'm 55 years old. The last time I lived less than 100 miles from my parents, I was 18. But reports from the East kept telling me they were not able to keep up the house—the house they had moved into when I was 3 months old. Assorted ailments were making their day-to-day life harder to sustain. Where the clarity of my decision came from remains a mystery. I suspect that my parents felt the same. How and why they knew it was time to sell the house and move from their carefully delineated lives was a flash of certainty for them as well.
So I waited for their house to get cleared out and sold. I knew the delivery would be easier than labor. (Thank God for small blessings.) While my parents faced a multitude of decisions, I merely waited, sure that I wanted this change and terrified of what would become of my own life.
At the beginning of this "pregnancy," just as at the beginning of all my pregnancies, I read. When I was pregnant with my children, it was a challenge to narrow down the volumes of advice. Every week of pregnancy and virtually every hour of labor were clearly outlined. This time, however, I looked in vain for books that explained how to move your parents halfway across the country and settle them into a new life. What would the first week be like? What were the progressive stages we would all go through? The necessary information just didn't seem to exist.
So instead, I turned to the Web site of the local agency on aging. In place of Lamaze, a friend who works with the elderly shared her knowledge and experience. I listened to all the stories of my friends who have aging parents nearby, just as I had eagerly questioned all my friends who had already started families. Everyone seemed to be stumbling along without any real answers.
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