Adulthood means financial independence. So why do so many of my peers still live off their parents?
Comment: Though it expresses an interesting sentiment, this article is both poorly written and hugely self-important. There are many reasons that people find themselves in the situations they do, and it is improper for the author to impugn people of whom she knows very little.
Comment: Well-written article Melody. Money is always an emotional issue for people and you seem to have hit alot of buttons expressing your viewpoint. Kudos to your parents for helping you when you needed it and kudos to you for launching yourself independently when know you needed to.
Comment: Example comment:
"I barfed a little while reading this, from the text and the photo."
Comment: This article totally ignores several huge factors that could cause young professionals to need assistance, even if they were to take the author's suggestion and live in a suburb. for one thign, the near-universal demand by employers for a college education and the rising costs of that education leaves many young people with debts that have payments higher than what people pay in rent in most parts of the country. The author admits her parents covered her there, which is precisely why she isn't struggling now. Then there's the fact that our society has gone from one where a single income used to be enough to support a family and now people struggle with two incomes. She doesn't acknowledge that the average middle-class salary when compared to inflation hasn't risen in 15 years. She ignores the fact that starting salaries are stagnant. Graduate school is more commonplace, meaning competition for jobs that aren't even high paying is fierce, and people are getting their start in the world at a later age. I find her experience with spoiled young people to be a narrow-minded one, and not representative of the people I know who have been less privileged and had less luck than her. They now need help getting on their feet and are not being irresponsible with the assistance provided.
Comment: This article totally ignores several huge factors that could cause young professionals to need assistance, even if they were to take the author's suggestion and live in a suburb. for one thign, the near-universal demand by employers for a college education and the rising costs of that education leaves many young people with debts that have payments higher than what people pay in rent in most parts of the country. The author admits her parents covered her there, which is precisely why she isn't struggling now. Then there's the fact that our society has gone from one where a single income used to be enough to support a family and now people struggle with two incomes. She doesn't acknowledge that the average middle-class salary when compared to inflation hasn't risen in 15 years. She ignores the fact that starting salaries are stagnant. Graduate school is more commonplace, meaning competition for jobs that aren't even high paying is fierce, and people are getting their start in the world at a later age. I find her experience of spoiled kids to be a narrow one, and not representative of the people i know who have been less privileged and had less luck than her, who now need help getting on their feet and are not being irresponsible with the assistance provided.
Comment: This really gave a one-sided view of a much largers issue. I was pretty annoyed to think that people who live in other parts of the country or around the world would assume that this is the kind of life that I or my fellow NYC area friends are living. The casual assumption that anyone in the 20's or 30's in the NYC area who is struggling or getting help from their parents is doing so only because they spend money on too many luxury goods only shows that Ms. Serifino has not had much exposure beyond the college bubble.
When one speaks people in their 20's and 30's even in much cheaper markets, one realizes that the problem in NYC is simply an intensified version of the afroementioned larger issue---that of the cost of living in the US going up while starting wages are not. This means that even the college-educated and privlidge young professional can not expect to purchase a home by the time they are 30 or to afford to start a family. As anyone who has ever held a salaried postion knows, your starting salary in a postion is what determines every subsiquent raise, so if starting salaries are not increasing with the cost of living, then no matter how frugally one lives, there is really not room for "getting ahead" financially.
I am not going to pass judgement on Ms. Serifino's own lifestyle or those of her friends with trust funds and frankly it's just not the point. The point is that the scary prediction that generation X and Y will be the first to not do better than their parents is coming true. In every financial disappointment I have personally faced, this is what it finally comes down to. I have asked tax advisors, smart investors, and simply those in generations ahead of me, and what really comes to light is that until salaries catch up with costs, there just is not much to be done, but save, skrimp, sometimes go into debt, borrow, and look for ways to do something fun for free or wait for the sale.
Comment: I hope I can someday provide the independence my parents afforded me growing up. There were eight children, dad wasn't educated and worked minimum paying jobs. Not because he wanted, but that is all that was offered to people without a high school diploma. We were given only the very basic needs to survive. If we were interested in higher education, well, like everything else, we were on our own.
My oldest brother is now a phd and associate professor at a well known university, second oldest has his masters and works for the US state department in asian commerce. Third oldest holds a masters degree and works in Washington DC in veterans affairs. Fouth oldest died tragically while attending state college after 4 years in the US Marine Corp. Fifth oldest is a sargeant on a police department in suburban Chicago. Myself, a certified engineer. Seventh youngest, assist HR manager of a large Chicago suburb. The baby, is an engineer with 20 years service on the Chicago Fire Dept. That was accomplished by knowing there was nothing being handed out because there wasn't ever anything handed out. I think my folks feel pretty good with the outcome. I would if I were them.
Comment: Hey Newsweek --
What's the journalistic ethics of commenting on your own article using an alias? Check out hampton302 -- maybe is, maybe isn't -- just saying.
Comment: I barfed a little while reading this, from the text and the photo. A safety net is a safety net, and I am so tired of hearing the privileged kids with the medium-sized parental safety nets complain about the kids' with extra-large models.
Comment: I moved to San Francisco at 22 after college. I thought it was just normal to live poor your first year out of school :shrug. My parents believe their job was to make sure I was a self supporting adult - not a comfortable adult who doesn't earn a desired lifestyle.
Some comments in here state it is so hard to afford things when you are first out of school with lack of jobs and consumer prices...that may be true, but I did it and you find a way to make it work. (Cali was in a major recession when I first moved there). Many many of us did it, and did without many frivolous things to do so. That is part of being an adult anyway - separating want from need - and choosing needs first - that is part of being a grown up.
I find it hard to believe it is so much harder than before. My net pay was $800 and my rent was $425 and I lived in a v. expensive city. I managed. I also look fondly on those days when I had such great experiences - I dont look back and think about material things I didnt have.
There is an exception though IMO: I would always pay for my kids' health insurance if they didnt have it through work, since an individual plan is out of reach to many healthy working adults. I wish my parents had subsidized that I suppose, and that is the only thing I would have accepted from them.
I dont get it really; financing your educated adult children's lives seems just weird to me, minus gifts for bdays and xmas or loans for extreme emergencies.
The biggest gift my parents ever gave me was the ability to attend a state university without any loan debt. From many of the comments here, I should not have accepted that. I find that odd I guess, since that is the norm for the majority people I know. A college fund was opened when I was born and was budgeted for four years of schooling. I'd do the same for my kids. That to me is "normal". Giving money to adults to finance their wants after providing an education is not.
Comment: I agree totally with this article. It has meant so much more to me to pay for my own university education and not accept any money from my parents. Sure, I'm not wealthy, but I feel confident knowing that I am completely independent. I, like Ms. Serafino, have many friends that receive money from their parents or have their entire education paid for, and it's wrong. Like she says, how are we ever supposed to gain financial independence if we're still in our twenties and haven't cut the apron strings yet?
Comment: I agree with the Ms. Serafino, it is important to get out on your own, be financially independent, and learn to live on a budget. That being said, I think Ms. Serafino is selling our generation short. I am 23 and financially independent from my parents. They put me through college and helped me learn about managing money by setting me up with a credit card when I was 20. I did not go on spending sprees, and using the card taught me to keep track of my expenses. I used to the card for necessities only because I believe my parents were doing enough by paying for school. Since I graduated, my credit card has been completely in my name and I pay all of the bills. I don't live in Manhattan; I live outside because it is cheaper. I keep a budget and mange to save a little money each month. Similarly, all of my friends from college are independent from their parent's purse strings. Ms. Serafino's friends are not great examples of our generation, and perhaps she should think about looking outside her social circle for examples of what???s normal. If she looks beyond her friends she detailed for this article, Ms. Serafino will find her habits are not unusual. I think that Ms. Serafino, my friends, and I are a better representative sample of our generation.
Comment: A college education is what you make of it. I know plenty of people that attended well-respected private institutions and ended up doing nothing more than working part-time hoping their resume surfaces among the countless others in the same position looking for jobs. 75% of the college experience does not come from the classroom but from the social experience and personal growth. That being said, graduating from a private institution by no means garauntees immediate and lucrative job placement...being well-rounded, mature and driven contributes just as much, if not more. Many people put themselves through college and that is to be commended as not everyone has to live with the burden of debt on that level at such a young age. At the same time, are private OR publicly schooled young adults supposed to apologize for their parents' success and ability to provide a college education for their children? Of course not. Anyone who suggests otherwise is blinded by bitterness and insecurity. When it comes down to it, this well-written and insightful article brings to light a discussion that I'm sure we have all had amongst friends or coworkers, etc. at one point or another. This is strictly a opinion peice written by Melody and clearly many of you have missed that simple point. Personal attacks on the author merely serve to 'stroke' your own ego (not to name names but I AM talkign to you Kreskin) so think twice before accusing someone of something you are guilty of yourself.
All in all, very well written and throughtful article, keep up the good work! Go QU Football!!!
Comment: .
Comment: I feel sorry for the twenty-something year olds, with college degrees and (I hope) jobs who expect their parents to subsidize their living. It is their parents to blame for the prolonged childhood. They are doing nothing but disservice to their own children. At some point, the poor things will have to take a responsibility for their own lives, but they will be ill-prepared to do so. At some point, their parents would want to get a phone call from their child not because he/she needs her debt to be paid off, but because he/she really cares about them. I doubt it would happen. My son had a credit card handed to him when he was 17, but with the instructions to use it responsibly. HIs summer and on-campus jobs paid his tuition, not because I could not afford, but becuase he needed to learn that money does not grow on trees. At age of 22, a graduate student and fully self-sufficient (to the best of his means), he is a mature man, fully responsible for his own decisions. Will I step forward if he really needs the money? I sure will, but for now, he buys his cloth at Ross and cooks his meals to avoid debt. I am very proud of him.
Comment: Bravo, excellent article, Melody! You seem to have really hit a nerve out there.
First of all many people have completely missed the point of this piece and the population that Ms. Serafino is referring to. That population would be young 20 somethings with good jobs, decent pay, college-educated (private or not) living in NYC (or other large cities) who live way beyond their means at the expense of their parents. Ms. Serafino does not include those people putting themselves through college, paying off student loans or suffering adversity.
Now these are the facts:
1. Ms. Serafino's parents would not be considered 'wealthy'..just comfortable. Donald Trump is wealthy. Certainly there is no 'silver spoon' here and no living beyond their means. Her parents have just been wise with their finances. Education has been a priority.
2. There is NO trust fund.
3. There is NO wealthy uncle. There is only an old, 4th floor walk up that is decidedly a very basic apartment.
4. While living for 3 months in that apartment (vs. the streets) waiting for her apartment to become available, Ms. Serafino completely supported herself and saved toward her own rent. To this day, her parents have not given her a dime.
5. From her early weeks in NYC, Ms. Serafino has also saved for retirement (how many 30 or 40 somethings can say that?)
6. No Ms. Serafino does not have a 'posh' job. She started with low pay for NYC.
7. She is not 'upper crust' only upper middle class (neither are her friends...this is just her point)
8. She acquired her job COMPLETELY on her own, knocking on doors.
9. Yes, Ms. Serafino did attend private school. Is this a crime? More than 50% of those students who attend private school (highs school and college) receive financial aid. There is no correlation between private school and making it on your own after college. This is up to the individual.
10. Volunteer work has been part of Ms. Serafino's life since middle school (many hours worth). Currently she spends her time and money as a mentor through the Family Center.
11. Ms. Serafino has paid for all non essentials since her *** years with money from jobs and babysitting.
12. She applied for and received some small merit based scholarships to help pay for her college education.
As for you Kreskin you should be ashamed of yourself. You have a Ph.D and yet you cannot seem to comprehend the thesis of this article. You also make many uninformed wild assumptions. So what is YOUR reality? What do you do for a job? You seem to spend large amounts of time commenting online. Why do you have such a chip on your shoulder? If you don't like the subject matter, I challenge you to write something and get it published in a national magazine. Then we can all comment on it.
This was an op-ed piece that Newsweek felt was worthy of publication (of the the many hundreds they receive each month). The original article was significantly edited to fit the page. Can we blame Ms. S
Comment: You seem to know a LOT about Ms. Serafino. You know her volunteering and babysitting activities since middle school. You describe the apartment like someone who's seen it. You know which scholarships she applied for, and which ones she won. You know how she had to wait for an apartment. You know that she saves for retirement. That's a lot of mundane details, over a long span of time.
hampton302, it kinda sounds like you ARE Ms. Serafino. Maybe I'm wrong, but you can see how I got there.
Also, quoting your article:
"a three-month stint living rent-free in an uncle's Tribeca apartment"
conflicts with your last statement: "While living for 3 months in that apartment (vs. the streets) waiting for her apartment to become available, Ms. Serafino completely supported herself"
I think you're right. Your uncle doesn't have to be rich. He could be a renter, too. But if you're living rent-free with him, I wouldn't say that's completely supporting yourself.
Comment: As a twentysomething woman, I find a lot of things within this article that I agree and disagree with. While others feel that she is not making broad claims on this topic to the twentysomething community, I strongly disagree with this. Going to my parents for financial help does not make me less of an adult. I agree that most twentysomethings are not financially savvy but when the focus of her article is on her catty and spoiled friends, it's tough to see where she is focusing only on one portion of this group.
Comment: I was personally offended and pissed off when I read this. As a twentysomething woman living in Chicago, I can pay my own rent, utilities and food/shopping bills with no help from my parents. It doesn't make me less of an adult to ask for help when things like medical expenses come up. To make broad generalizations about twentysomething men/women like Ms. Serafino is absolutely unfair. Maybe she just has catty and spoiled friends, who should not be labeled as the "symbol" of twentysomethings in this country.
Comment: This article is a huge ego stroking waste of space!! The bottom line is, MS. SERAFINO WOULD NOT BE WHERE SHE IS TODAY if it wasn't for HER PARENTS PAYING FOR HER ENTIRE F-ING EDUCATION and NURSING HER ON A SILVER SPOON. SHE'S AN EGOTISTIC HYPOCRITE!!! I highly DOUBT SHE COULD MAKE IT "ON HER OWN" IN NYC if she came from the background of someone LESS FORTUNATE (90% of the US population). This is NOT REALITY and yes people who had to PAY THEIR OWN WAY (a large portion of people who attend college) ARE P*SSED OFF at someone who had her entire education PAID IN FULL by her PARENTS (and most likely still recieving a stipend to some degree) trying to dish out advice!!! Don't try to write us off as bitter or jealous because we won't swallow this PIECE OF SHITE ARTICLE without question. She believes that ANYONE can make it on their own in NYC, if they just give up the "SUPERFLOUS" spending!!! She is COMPLETELY OUT OF TOUCH and the fact that this article is appearing in Newsweek is indeed her OFFERING HER ADVICE TO MORE THAN JUST HER ELITIST FRIENDS, but to everyone who subscribes to it. If she wasn't attempting to STROKE HER EGO, she would have just done an intervention with her fellow SILVER SPOONERS!!! Yes, PEOPLE ARE P*SSED that this is trying to be passed off as LEGITIMATE JOURNALISM!!! To everyone defending her...BUY A F-ING CLUE!!! And just because we're opposed to Ms. Serafino's views DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE'RE DEFENDING HER FRIENDS nor STILL RECIEVING $$$ FROM OUR PARENTS. It just means that we REALLY had to MAKE IT ON OUR OWN!!!!
Comment: Hmmm... And what of the people driving costs up by buying homes that they will see one week out of the year as it is on Cape Cod, my home town. I am not envious of the rich, I am disgusted. I think you ought to be ashamed of the fact that you own enough property to house a thousand people and yet they remain empty year-in and year-out. There are families, hard-working, decent people, living in their cars because they cannot afford the rent where they work in the same country that we regularly see people buying thousand dollar shoes. For shame! I am all for being proud of your accomplishments, but I hope that, being as most high paying jobs benefit no one but the person working them, you practice altruism and spread your wealth around.
Comment: I was the 5th child of 8 children. I was doing lunch dishes standing on a stool by the age of five, taking out the trash bag, dusting, setting and clearing the dishes and sweeping the dinning room after dinner. We all did household chores regardless of gender . We had a daily maid who came during the week, until I was around eight. By the time I was 10, I was sewing, doing chores and odd jobs for neighbors, trimming bushes and mowing lawns for extra money. By 12, I had a paper route and by 13, I added babysitting. In jr high school my allowance was $ 0.50 a week and in high school it was $1.00. If I wanted to get ahead in life I learned early that I had to work. I graduated from high school and started community college, I was 16. I worked at a convience/deli store. At 17, I sang in a working band on the weekends and rented a one bedroom apt with a friend whose father paid her half. I only lived there on the weekends and always came back to a mess. By 19, I had saved enough money to move to Los Angeles and a state university. I got a job working 37hrs a week. When I was 22, I lost my job so I went to the job/housing board at the university and looked for a live-in maid or nanny position. I took a position with an older couple who wanted housework 15hrs for a guest house. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. My mother told me she raised me to have a maid not to be a maid. I got a part time job working as a personal assistant for a jazz musician. He left the details at my discretion of priority. When school started the next fall I worked for him whenever I wanted. All my friends thought I was from a rich, because of the neighborhood I lived in, the convertible sports car I drove, my wardrobe plus I was a full time college student. The next year when I was 23, I graduated with a 3.85 GPA and a BA degree in Art. I went to Europe, for a year my base was in Paris and I lived in a international women's hotel. I went to the Louvre Museum every Sunday because it was free. I studied the old masters paintings and classical world sculpture up close and personal. I came back to the USA on a charter flight I got for $300. The US inspection officer asked me how it felt to be back at home? I said fantastic because only the achieveing top 20% of the students in France would be allowed to go on to the next year of University. I got my Masters Degree at 27, and I was sure proud of all I had acheived in 9 years. I got a live-in house manager position on a hugh estate. A few years later I took care of my elderly parents, because I could afford not to work at a paying position. Now I work for a billionaire as his executive estate manager. He owns homes and factories all over world and I travel with him on his private 727, and make sure all the details of his life are taken care of. It is a highly demanding position but I love it, plus it pays over 200K a year with a clothing allowance and no living expenses.
Comment: This generation (born between 1980 and 1995 or so) IS CALLED THE "BOOMERANG GENERATION", as in no time in America's history have so many kids RETURNED HOME after college, needing some form of their parents support....
WHY? No jobs! or Full-time Jobs with WAGES SO LOW that the HIGHEST HOUSING COSTS ARE UNAFFORDABLE unless mom and dad help out or at least guarantor the loan. Why all THIS HOUSING/JOB COMPETITION? **************IMMIGRATION, both legal and illegal, causes higher housing costs and more
JOB COMPETITION.
WELCOME TO THE FUTURE OF AMERICA. We've added 150 million immigrants and their children to our society in the past 50 years, and wonder why are cities are so expensive and jobs so hard to get. Then blame the kids when they can't find work (substantial decent work) or pay the rent.
Some can, some can't.
Comment: SINGLE PARENT HOMES... "Mommy Doesn't Like To Work".... "Daddy Took Off"... "We're poor and have 5 kids" (bright idea!)... Affirmative Action...
CLASS RESENTMENT. Daddy drives a BMW but refuses to save money for me to go to college- so I guess I'll just take it out on the kid who's parents are RESPONSIBLE and save for their children.
Comment: GEEZ! i'm reading these comments and i'm just disgusted. I'm Nigerian living in the US and yes mummy and daddy paid for my education, and holidays and all the fun stuff in the US and all i had to do was sit in college and study HARD to get an engineering degree (and I currently work at a job I got all by myself - thank you very much). I appreciate their help, and I definitely did not have a sense of entiltlement it just so happened that God blessed us and I am truly grateful... but, I digress, to all you CRY BABIES who had to pay for your education with government provided loans and are now spreading bitterness all over this thread check this - POOR KIDS CAN'T EVEN GET LOANS TO GO TO COLLEGE IN NIGERIA... imagine the amount of smart people just wasting away, living under brudges, without a fair chance to better themselves and their society...
so PLEASE pay off your student loans and count yourselves lucky u have a roof over your head and government programs to assisst you.
life is not fair, some are born rich, some are born poor and more importantly some people people make their own money from scratch.
I feel the author on her point, all over the world the rich stick together and I am happy and proud of her for accomplishing all that she has even with the silver spoon in her mouth... afterall, a lot of trust fund babies end up as druggies or worse still in sex tapes
- Kemi
Comment: Your tone is a little harsh for my liking, but I agree with you in substance. I think many in America forget to put their lives into global and historical context. It is simply a matter of fact that anyone who has received a higher education should count themselves among the world's fortunate. Certainly, some of us have it easier than others, but life, let alone happiness, is not a given and we fail to count our blessings at the peril of our own souls.
Comment: To "newsfreak"...
Why should I support you if your parent's aren't providng enough...that is what "social" programs are me supporting you with my hard earned money through taxation. You think your pay check doesn't go far enough now...imagine how much less it will cover when Obama and his Marxist cronies take 50%+ to pay for all your "social" programs. If your job doesn't support your lifestyle no matter how thrifty - you have two choices get thriftier or get another job whether its a second job or a higher paying job. Quit whining and pay your own bills all of them...like I do!
How ironic that an article about finical independence features ads for the social program let the government (your fellow citizen) pay your way "Socialist Messiah" himself !
Comment: This problem is not new. My father had an allowance from his mother's small pension until he was 30 years old and she passed away. This decision made him the worst manager of money that I can image. I hear stories of him buying his first boat with his school loans. At the age of 54, he still rents a house, because he does not have the credit to buy. At 26, I am the most ficiely independent women you can imagine. My mother and I are very close. We have split everything 50/50 since I graduated from college. This includes vacations, diners out, entertainment and buying presents for family members I pushed myself to graduate from a private college 3 years with a 3.98 GPA to prevent the accumulation of additional school loans. The wisdom in my house (which I qualified for myself and paid my first mortgaged pmt on my 25th birthday) is your children will act as old as you treat them. The longer you treat them like spoiled children that are unable to take care of themselves, the longer they will act like children.
We have learned a good way to spot these 'adults' is if they have never offered to pay for a dinner out with their parents unless it was a special day. We are creating a generation that no independent man or woman wants to marry.
Comment: This problem is not new. My father had an allowance from his mother's small pension until he was 30 years-old and she passed away. These decision made him the worst manager of money that I can image. I hear stories of him buying his first boat with his school loans. At the age of 54, he still rents a house, because he does not have the credit to buy. At 26, I am the most ficiely independent women you can imagine. My mother and I are very close. We have split everything 50/50 since I graduated from college. This inclues vacations, diners out, entertainment and buying presents for family members I pushed myself to graduate from a private college 3 years with a 3.98 GPA to prevent the accumulation of additional school loans. The wisdom in my house (which I qualified for myself and paid my first mortage pmt on my 25th birthday) is your children will act as old as you treat them. The longer you treat them like spoiled children that are unable to take care of themselves, the longer they will act like children.
We have learned a good way to spot these 'adults' is if they have never offered to pay for a dinner out with their parents unless it was a special day. We are creating a generation that no independent man or woman wants to marry.
Comment: Uh, yeah. What the hell are parents doing? I had to do a blog about this phenomenon. Too much to say.
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&Mytoken=FF63DDD3-C731-4BCA-A0AF19C1D76D1EA363979982
Comment: Our 3 boys have paid their own rent from their sophomore year of college till graduation. They pay rent, living expenses and books and we pay tuition. They also paid for books their freshmen year when in the dorm. They knew they would have to work part time if they wanted to live with friends on campus in an apartment, and they knew that they could live at home for free since school is only 1/2 hr away. They have taken pride in their accomplishment of managing school and work to be able to live away to live on campus. They have seen friends who have had everything handed to them and seen how they don't appreciate what they have been given. They know we would never leave them destitute, but their pride helps drive them to not let that happen. Educaton beyond high school and support from parents is a privelege and I can see why it's easy for some people to rely on the parents when they have bailed them out continuosly. our 2 oldest have graduated and and are working, and the last one is starting his jr. year. People need to take responsibility for themselves at some point, but as long as they rely on the parents to always bail them out, they are set up for failure.
Comment: I thought that this was a fabulous article! I feel that all too often children take their parents for granted after college.
One of my best friends asked her parents to pay over half of her rent this month, simply because she didn't want to work the hours required at her part time job to make enough money to pay it herself - and she's 23. She???s not looking for a full time job, and she has no issues with asking her parents to foot the bill, even though her parents are in no financial position to be taking on more responsibility. I personally don't understand how you can justify that to yourself, why put that extra stress on your parents?
I'm not trying to be on a soap box, but I am thankful that I had to work 3 jobs to put myself through college. Yes, my parents could have paid my tuition and not given it a second thought, but they wanted me to learn the value of money and to feel the accomplishment of doing it on my own. I know that if I ever needed any anything my parents would have helped me. However I feel a great sense of pride knowing that I can do it myself, and I wouldn???t ask my parents to pay for anything.
If you???re old enough to live on your own, then you???re old enough to financially support yourself; even if that means working multiple jobs or jobs that you???re overqualified for.
Comment: The last sentence of my comment should be: "Ms Serafino, I am realistic, I am responsible, I am just not rich." All of which is true.
Comment: If you are walking around wearing prada or driving around in a BMW, no way in hell you should be taking handouts from anyone. Get your priorities straight!
Comment: I was not so lucky! Sink or Swim was my motto. I moved to AZ when I was 18 and went to college full time, worked full time and paid all my bills. Just out of college I moved San Francisco I lived on my own in an apartment for $1,450 plus other expenses. I was just turning 23. I am 26 now married and we do it on our own.... the way it should be. Sure sometimes when I was in big trouble Dad helped but he did not need to do it every month nor every other month. I had decent jobs but when I first started college I was making $7.50, so its not as if I had a fantastic paying job.
Comment: I moved to NY after college and only earned $22,000 in 1992. It never entered my mind to ask my parents for money. I paid off my student loans and lived in poverty. I had lots of roommates and lived in Queens. Did I have fun? Yes! My parents didn't have any financial resources, but they did love me. I'm able to manage money better than any of my friends and I am thankful I grew up the way I did. It's hard not to give my kids everything now, but I know it's for the better. No question about that in my mind.
Comment: I'm with YOU! I moved to Chicago from Dallas expecting the same lifestyle I was accustomed to. I attended DePaul University and lived on Lake Shore and Belmont...not cheap. I quickly learned the value of a dollar and the taste of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup (after rent and bills were paid). That experience taught me humility. I now am back in Dallas, and drive a BMW and own some Prada, which I bought on Ebay at a bargain. Another thing Chicagoians taught me, how to spot a bargain. By the way, I lived thier for ten years and never asked my parents for one dime. I will forever be grateful for the experience and also found out what it was to be loved for the person I am and not for what I have...now that's priceless!
Comment: Ms. Serafino, you are either a gifted prodigy earning a queen's salary or myopic beyond hope. I am 41, I own my own home, a (used) car, and, other than my mortgage have no debt. I shop at dollar stores and thrift shops, buy generic, use Vonage, pick up pennies on the street, and rarely use my credit card, preferring cash instead. Now, you would think I am a financially secure, and totally independent man, wrong. Despite all this, I receive $300 a month from my "mommy and daddy" to pay my housing development's coop fees, and my parents helped me with the down payment, which I do hope to pay back one day if/when ever I should sell my house. My parents knew that a house is the best investment you can have, and that is one reason they helped my out. Why do I need their help? There are many answers. To start, I am a US civil servant, and although my salary is adequate, it simply does not go far enough. I, like everyone have indulgences, but beyond that, there is another major reason for my parents' help: savings and retirement and benefits. The US simply does not provide a social safety net that other industrialized nations do. I contribute a substantial chunk (15% is recommended, I try to contribute more) for retirement. My goal is to live in retirement comfortably, not lavishly. Social Security alone simply will not cut it. Ms. Serafino, wanna work till you are 80?
Another reason for my parents' help: health insurance. The US again has no national health insurance, the burden lies on individual employees. The costs of healthcare are skyrocketing, and needless to say health insurance is absolutely, positively vital in case of illness or injury. Uninsured patients here receive substandard care, or no care at all. In the US, the lack of health insurance kills 20,000 people per year, yes, per year. Being a government employee guarantees me health insurance, that unlike in the private sector CANNOT be canceled. This fact alone keeps me in my job, as opposed to pursuing a possibly more lucrative job in the private sector. My parents' help keeps me insured. Ms. Serafino, do you have adequate health insurance? If you need a major operation will it be covered? In many cases it won???t be.
Ms. Serafino, you are wondering: do I, a 41 year-old man enjoy this situation of a monthly allowance from my parents? The answer is flat out no. I would love to be able to pay entirely for my house, but simply cannot now. Our generations' salaries have not kept up with the economic realities we live in. Ours is the first to do so. Hopefully one day I will be able to totally finance my house myself. My father is a retired university professor, with adequate savings, and very happy to help me out. Unless I marry (not likely) a gifted high powered executive like my sister did (she is a housewife with two daughters) it will be necessary for me to receive this help from my parents. Ms. Serafino, I am responsible, I am realistic, I am jus
Comment: Ms. Serafino, you are either a gifted prodigy earning a queen's salary or myopic beyond hope. I am 41, I own my own home, a (used) car, and, other than my mortgage have no debt. I shop at dollar stores and thrift shops, buy generic, use Vonage, pick up pennies on the street, and rarely use my credit card, preferring cash instead. Now, you would think I am a financially secure, and totally independent man, wrong. Despite all this, I receive $300 a month from my "mommy and daddy" to pay my housing development's coop fees, and my parents helped me with the down payment, which I do hope to pay back one day if/when ever I should sell my house. My parents knew that a house is the best investment you can have, and that is one reason they helped my out. Why do I need their help? There are many answers. To start, I am a US civil servant, and although my salary is adequate, it simply does not go far enough. I, like everyone have indulgences, but beyond that, there is another major reason for my parents' help: savings and retirement and benefits. The US simply does not provide a social safety net that other industrialized nations do. I contribute a substantial chunk (15% is recommended, I try to contribute more) for retirement. My goal is to live in retirement comfortably, not lavishly. Social Security alone simply will not cut it. Ms. Serafino, wanna work till you are 80?
Another reason for my parents' help: health insurance. The US again has no national health insurance, the burden lies on individual employees. The costs of healthcare are skyrocketing, and needless to say health insurance is absolutely, positively vital in case of illness or injury. Uninsured patients here receive substandard care, or no care at all. In the US, the lack of health insurance kills 20,000 people per year, yes, per year. Being a government employee guarantees me health insurance, that unlike in the private sector CANNOT be canceled. This fact alone keeps me in my job, as opposed to pursuing a possibly more lucrative job in the private sector. My parents' help keeps me insured. Ms. Serafino, do you have adequate health insurance? If you need a major operation will it be covered? In many cases it won???t be.
Ms. Serafino, you are wondering: do I, a 41 year-old man enjoy this situation of a monthly allowance from my parents? The answer is flat out no. I would love to be able to pay entirely for my house, but simply cannot now. Our generations' salaries have not kept up with the economic realities we live in. Ours is the first to do so. Hopefully one day I will be able to totally finance my house myself. My father is a retired university professor, with adequate savings, and very happy to help me out. Unless I marry (not likely) a gifted high powered executive like my sister did (she is a housewife with two daughters) it will be necessary for me to receive this help from my parents. Ms. Serafino, I am responsible, I am realistic, I am jus
Comment: There is alot to be said for living independly, both socially and financially. i pay my own mortgage, tons of school loans, and for everything that i purchase. we should all remember, however, that total independence is only possible and desireable for very few people. humans are social beings and society and much of life is based on us helping each other. those kids that are being criticized for taking "hand-outs" in order to wear designer labels may likely be the ones that take care of their parents later in life, rather than simply making nursing home/assisted living arrangements. MAybe if I did not have to work while I was in school and pay rent, I could have made the right connections and landed that perfect job, which in turn would lead to a better standard of living. Are we becoming so insecure that financial independence and the resulting pride from accomplishing that goal surpasses the happiness and fullfillment of a higher standard of living and actually fulfilling our responsibilities to each other and ourselves? I 'm not saying that we should be partying 24/7, driving BMWs, and wearing Prada while not doing much of anything else. As long as you are working dilegently at something worthwhile, what's wrong with a bit of help from parents or anyone who is willing? As long as we also help those parents and friends when they need it, I don't see anything wrong. I'd have no problem if anyone wanted to buy me a pair of seven jeans this weekend.
Comment: I totally agree with the article. I have been financially self sufficient for years. I put my way through school working multiple jobs while enduring full 18 credit semesters in order to finish early and start a career. Meanwhile. I watched many friends get full financial help from their parents. Not to say that there's a bit of jealousy there (hello! Everything seems easier when mom and pop are forking the benny's over!) , you cant put a price tag on financial freedom. I can proudly say that I've earned everything I have (which may not be as much as my friends have, but atleast I know its all mine). In a nutshell, this is your life. Your parents have shelled out enough of their money for eighteen years. It's time to become an adult and make a life for yourself- Do you really want to look back on your life and have doubts that you didnt 100% make your own way in this city? You are fully capable of making your own now! If you cant afford the New York City lifestyle yet, get over it. You cant always get what you want. Move to Brooklyn or Jersey City until you can work your way into the city!
If you want to make an omelette, you have to crack a few eggs, things arent always going to go perfectly- that's life. Enjoy the mess!
Comment: My 3 sons have paid their own rent in college from their sophomore year till graduaton. We pay the tuition and they pay their rent, books and living expenses. They knew they needed to get part time jobs to be able to meet their finacial needs, and they know that we would neverleave them totally straped. They have learned to manage theri time well between study and work and have actually taken a pride in themselves for thei accomplishments. Two of them have graduated and are working and the third one is starting his jr. year. They knew they could live at home, because Ohio State is 1/2 hr away, but chose to live with friends on campus. They look at their friends whose parents have paid for everything, and see how they don't appreciate what they have been given and are proud in themselves for shouldering part of the financial load. Remember, education is not a "given" after high school, it is a privelege to have access to further eduacation. So for those who are used to having everything handed to them on a silver plate, it's easy to see how they continue to rely on parents to bail them out evenafter school. My boys know we would never leave them destitute, but their pride also lets them know they need to assume responsibility for their own being too.
Comment: Unbelievable, I have lived on my own since the age of 18, supporting myself and now my family. I had cousins growing up that were very well off and up until my cousins 50th bday were getting any where from 50 to 75 thousand dollars a year to support their own families. Unbelieveable I may not have much monetarily but one thing I do have a Pride!!!
Comment: Did this "PRIVATE SCHOOL GIRL" AUTHOR GET HER JOB THROUGH ***CONNECTIONS? Some of us move out to the cheapest neighborhoods in Brooklyn and still need help with rent when we can't find work. 3 roommates, still need help! This girl is an ELITEST who assumes everyone lives in manhattan and buys DESIGNER clothes. Try dumpster diving for furniture and shopping at "Conways"- the inner city Walmart. theneee then
Comment: This issue is certainly not something that just came about as these folks enter "City-life". From early childhood these parents did not teach & their children did not learn personal responsibilty. So, continuing to pay rent & sponsor shopping is simply continuing the same behavior patterns on both sides. Very similar to parents not teaching personal responsibility & now going to job interviews with their children and calling college deans when the gpa doesnt make everyone feel good.
So, until the parents find thier own self-respect, they will continue to live vicariously through their children.
Comment: She seems to TAKE FOR GRANTED THE FACT SHE HAS A *FULL-TIME JOB THAT ALLOWS HER TO PAY HER OWN RENT, in this horrible, ultra-competitive economy college grads are entering. Try job-hunting for 6 months. Try learning a "good interview" means nothing. Try repeating internships with college students. Try lowering the bar, and working a blue-collar job, only to find when you show up people thing your nuts.
Comment: The whole time our daughters were in high school, my husband and I told them that we would "help" them do what they wanted to do after graduation. College, technical school, etc. But, we were not paying for it. Both girls worked hard in high school and got athletic and academic scholarships that covered their educations. We contributed to car payments, medical expensese, clothing, etc. After graduating from a very academic private university, my oldest daughter wanted to live and work in the Dallas area, but she took a job closer to home and saved her money. After six months she had saved enough money to move to Dallas. She has now accepted a job there. We helped with the move, and cosigned on her apartment and bills. But, it seems in her circle of friends, that her father and I have a bad reputation for not paying for everything. I like to think that both my daughters take pride in what they have accomplished, because I am certainly proud of them!
Comment: Do I sense jealousy? Why is it anyone else's business what other's parents choose to do? There may or may not come a time where these people have to learn to fend for themselves, but it doesn't bother me. I'm glad that I don't have to depend on my parents to support me, but I don't really care if one of my friends do. That's their loss.
Comment: Making your own way is the characteristic of a "slef-actualized" individual. Continuing reliance on parents, with parents blessing or not, indicates lack of maturity. The age of the "dependent" will determine how close to being a true "dead-beat" a dependent is.
Comment: It's good to know that there are people like you still in the world, and very sad to know that there are people so out of touch with reality that not only do they lack an iota of financial independence, they are completely devoid of financial understanding. How can someone who has never felt an opportunity cost understand the value of a dollar - or even of their own time.
In response to your friend that said that she would just get a loan from her parents or a husband - I was instructed many times growing up to never marry someone with such a diluted sense of money. If I were to marry such a person I would become the new 'daddy.' My money would be squandered with the same disregard with which she used her parents money. The big difference would be that I'm not as well off as her parents probably are. To her parents she is a nuisance to me she would be the cause of financial ruin.
Comment: No wonder so few people have a strong work ethic--why bother with hard work when mom and dad will be there to pick up the pieces? What about mom's and dad's retirement? Why would you take that away from them? It is not your parent's responsibility to pay for your college or your rent when you move out. Parents are only required to house, feed and clothe you until your 18th birthday. Then it's your turn to step up to the plate and make your own way. You can put yourself through college--you don't even have to have huge loans to do it. You just have to be smart and pro-active instead of relying on mom and dad or even worse some husband you don't even have yet...
Comment: OK, so you live in New York with a lot of fancy rich kids who seem to get everything they want. That doesn't mean you can criticize every young person who still receives help from their parents. Since leaving college I have had to rely on my parents a great deal more than I expected when in school and NOT because I wanted to or because I didn't want to give up some sophisticated lifestyle. At first I did live on my own and worked hard to pay off all the credit card debt I had accrued, and I was proud of myself. Then I got laid off when my job was outsourced to Mexico. 6 months of unemployment followed by two years of temp work left me with very little financially. If my parents hadn't helped, I could seriously be on the street. For a while I felt guilty and spoiled that they were being so generous, but then I realized that a lot of the people I knew who were "financially independent" had spouses or boyfriends/girlfriends that they lived with and shared responsibilities with. I stopped feeling guilty. The idea that children should go straight from the nest to independent living is a very recent and American idea, and I think an unrealistic one. For me now, I'm going to graduate school to improve my situation and get out of my parents pocket, and I have a permanent job that should see me through. By the way, I got this job by volunteering my butt off for the organization while waiting for an opening. I have and do work hard, but I need help. And I do feel very appreciative and blessed that my parents are so willing and able to help. I'm tired of of other people's judgment.
Comment: I don't think the author has any objections to people in your situation receiving help from parents. He offers several examples of people who receive most of their support from parents and have to desire to change that.
Comment: There's nothing wrong with parents helping their kids get through college, but parents need to know if their child is studying and not partying. School is serious biz and a supporting parent has every right to know what their child is up to. It's easy to be careless and take things for granted when you're getting a free ride.
Comment: I also wonder what is Generation Y learning? I was not born to a family with money or connections, but I do not any money from my parents. After attending college I had to make my own way. I had to find a place to live, start paying loans back, and was unemployeed in my field. I had to work 3 full time jobs and prayed that I would not get sick and miss a day. At one point I even put groceries on a credit card, but I never-never
asked my parents for THEIR money and I never stopped investing for my future even if it was only $3 a week. After 3 years of working hard, I finally climbed out of the dark hole of college cost and I appreciate a 40 hour work week. My parents are very proud of me and I am happy that they have 0 debt. They own 3 new cars and their home. They can actually stop working when they retire and not work part time to cover my expenses for me.
I also know the other side. My cousin who is only 2 yrs. younger expects his parents to pay for everything. He does not know what it is to work a full time job and has zero appreciation for anything. His parents even sold their dream home to buy a home for his wife and kids. They buy the groceries, gas, day care, and utilities. And I wonder---why do they need gas and day care when neither of them work,. They will never be able to stop working and I wonder what will happen when they die. Who will take care of him then? How will they survive, it will be such a shock to even try to pay bills let alone balance a check book.
I see this as a treand in this generation. They have never been taught to do without until it is earned. They need to understand that their parents did not have the new cars, all the latest electronics, and a new house when they where fresh out of college (or when they went straight to work out of high school). They had to earn them and they had to do it on their own. Why then are they not teaching their children the same? How are they ever going to be adults?
Comment: I am 25 and my parents have offered some financial assistance to me and my brother over the years, but they centennially didn???t go overboard.
My parents made business deals with us. Like??? 1st My parents paid my car insurance while I was in high school as long as I was on the honor roll, if I didn???t make the honor roll I had to pay it myself. But once I finished high school that deal was gone, I started paying it myself. 2nd when I started college they offered me a deal that if I graduated with a 3.0 or above they would pay ½ of my student loans, which they did. I am sure over those years I raided a few hundred dollars worth of food from their house, but what college student didn???t?
However, now that I am 25 I am an adult and thus do not get any money from my parents anymore. I recently decided to go back to school. I wish my parents would offer me help with my tuition. I pay all of my own bills. Sure I still get a few handouts from my parents on occasion (for example their old bedroom set) but they do not give me hard cash. Even when I had $8k in medical bills last winter, I paid them all myself.
If these parents are subsidizing their kids lifestyles then they are only hurting them in the long run.
I have a friend who is 27. Since high school her parent have paid for her car, rent, clothes, gas, and are now paying ½ of her mortgage and her utilities. But in giving all of this money they hold total control over her. They have access to her checking, credit card accounts, and regularly ask her why she bought something or why is there a credit card charge for a bar on a weekday. Whenever she does something they don???t like, they threaten her with selling her house or car or whatever.
When comparing my friends life to mine, I would like all the free stuff, but I am much happier controlling my own life.
Comment: Parental support after graduation was never an option for me. But because they're well off, people tend to assume I'll be living off of Daddy's credit cards until I'm 30. Every time I stop to look at a gorgeous dress in a shop window, without any intention of actually blowing a month's worth of food on it, my friends encourage me to buy it because "your parents will pay for it anyway." No, they won't. They might if I asked, but I was not raised to take advantage of generous people.
Comment: To richlrn: I see your point, but it's not just women who are living off of their parents. I know many males in NYC who are heavily subsidized by Mom and Dad, too.
I'm trying to make ends meet in the city as a young woman. For the year that I was a full-time grad student, I worked 3 part-time jobs and took out loans to make it work. My parents are extremely generous and I know that in a financial emergency, they will be my safety net But it's worth it to me to make mistakes, figure out how to budget, and try to do it on my own as much as possible. The money I borrowed from them to move when starting grad school--I paid that back in full once I started working again.
When times are rough (in terms of money) and I hear my mom trying to comfort me by saying, "You live in the most expensive city in the country; of course it's hard to make ends meet" I remind her that I made this choice in location. I could be living in a much more affordable place, but for various reasons I chose to live here. For that reason, I should be responsible for the resulting financial impact.
Comment: mmm
Comment: sorry, hit the button again my mistake
Comment: Your sermon doesn't tell the wholel story. Ms. Serafino. These parental remittances inflate rents, the higher rents attract more generous Mom'n'Dad subsidies, and the vicious cycle continues. It's another bubble fueled by idiots with too much money, and in this case, you're the victim. Welcome to my City.
Comment: It's so true about parents paying for everything and controlling your life still. I refuse to let that happen so I will not ask my parents for anything. I was even homeless for about 6 months partly because I didn't want their help and partly because they wouldn't help. The kicker though...my younger sister gets her rent paid, her utilities paid and her gas and insurance paid.
My parents tell me that they don't pay for anything however she works at a golf course part time for $12 an hour and has an $800 a month rent payment, cable, cable internet, a land line and a cell phone and she partys every weekend and sometimes during the week, she always has new clothes and hairstyles and the list goes on. I work a full-time job making twice what she does and I just got cable and internet after 4 years of not having it because I couldn't afford it. However I wouldn't trade my life with hers for anything...I love being financially independent from my parents and I can't wait until they can't support her anymore...she'll be homeless in a month!
Comment: I'm living that very same story only instead of my parents supporting me...which they never have (I was even homeless for about 6 months till I got my feet back on the ground)...they support my sister. They pay her rent, her utilities, and her gas and truck insurance. She pays for food and partying. They say they don't pay for anything except that she makes $12 an hour at a part time job at a golf course and lives in an apartment that costs about $800 a month in rent, plus she has a cell phone, land line, cable, cable internet and the list goes on.
I work for a consulting company making twice what she does full time and sometimes I still struggle to make ends meet. I can't wait until my parents can't support her anymore and she's on her own. She'll be homeless in a month.
Comment: Try being a financially responsible single guy trying to date these women whose parents are supporting them. They have no sense of reality or propriety and a huge self entitlement complex.
Comment: Yes too many kids live off mom and dad but this author has some kind of lifestyle that the average person does not. My parent (I only had 1) wasn't able to help out much in college so that meant loans and credit cards to get by. Now I'm paying all of that back and while she isn't paying all my rent she is helping out here and there when I have a copay or a car repair I have to pay for when I'm short on income.
And as for living in the city in some states that is where the employment is and with gas prices who can afford to drive? Thank god I chose to live in the city where the bus comes and gets me everyday no matter how much gas is.
Also the author needs to widen her scope. I live in the city because I am a minority and I want to see people that look like me and share the same lifestyle-these type of people are few and far between in the burbs where rent is lower. Lots of people are broke so whatever helps them get by is what helps them get by!
Besides like many kids I plan to look after my parent in her old age and I'm sure she will be glad she sent me a little cash every now and then for that kind of love and support in her older years.!!!!!
Comment: I was told, in the early stages of parenting, that a parent's goal is to raise healthy, responsible children who can survive on their own and be positive, contributing citizens when they leave your nest. Occassionally we need some support from someone in our lives, but paying for your child's rent/living expenses is just as bad as them still living with you after high school. It's not what's best for them and will teach them nothing but to remain immature and irresponsible for their own lives. To this self-centered generation in which Entitlement is what you expect from the rest of the world: "get over it, grow up and get a job. There is NO FREE LUNCH. We all worked for what we have, so should you!"
Comment: If mom and dad are paying for you to live, than mom and dad have a say in HOW you live. I refuse to let anyone have that kind of control over me. The only decisions my parents make in my life are the side dishes for Thanksgiving dinner. That I can live with - imposition of morals and financial values, I cannot.
Comment: She hit the nail on the head with the statement about independence. If mom and dad are paying for you, mom and dad still have a say in how you spend their money. I refuse to let my parents have that kind of control over me and am content with my small house, small wardrobe, and ancient car with no air-conditioning. I'm 26 years old and refuse to let me parents have a say in my life. The only way I can justify this is by earning what I spend and only letting them on decisions as big as what sides to serve for Thanksgiving dinner.
Comment: I completely agree that they shouldn't be getting a allowance from mom & dad, even if they are divorced. I have to pay my bills so should they. I have a 22 year old stepson that expects us to keep giving him money every money, saying that his mom isn't getting the child support anymore so he should just get that money now. I don't think so. But yet he refuses to drink tap water & also critizes everyhting in our lives including the way we live.
Comment: I think half the problem is that we have muddied the waters between "wants" and "needs". You need food, clothes and shelter. You don't need an iPhone, Prada shoes or a NYC apartment with a doorman and an elevator. Those are excesses. In this day and age, excess is what has hurt our country's financial footing. Americans "need" bigger homes, bigger cars, and bigger flatscreens than the Jones next door.
Comment: The other side is...if your parents go through bankruptcy right when you enter college at age 18, you have to figure out how you're going to make it through without their help really fast. So I worked my butt off to have a bachelors and masters in 5.5 years, and now I'm an Environmental Scientist at 23 ...and making my own living...without a dime from Mom & Dad.
It makes me sad to think that young people refuse to "give up their lifestyle" when the true process of making a living is starting with little and hopefully ending with a lot.
Comment: If this person is as ignorant as she sounds, she damn well better keep her parents close by. She is at some point going to collide with reality and be completely lost!
Comment: You think she's ignorant because she wants to live her own life, on her own terms, without sucking off of Mom and Dad?? I pray that MY kids are so ignorant...
Comment: There are quite a few ignorant comments to be found on this page -almost none of which come from Miss Serafino. A critical intellect always begins with a sympathetic ear so as to fleche out an author's intent. It is the intellectually lazy who misread an author, attack their work outside the scope of its context, and then crown their drivel with absurdly assumptive ad hominem attacks.
Comment: It's true that there are far too many young people who rely heavily on mom and dad.
It's ridiculous how so many parents feel the need to baby their kids well into adulthood and in doing so, prevent their children from ever truly being independent, self-sufficient and ACCOUNTABLE for their spending/budgeting.
It's a huge reason as to what is so WRONG with our society today and it is exemplified even more when our government feels the need to "act" as parents who ALLOW such parasitic sponging to run rampant and then BAIL OUT those who are so deep in debt due to their own actions.
Completely unfair to those who truly do live within their personal financial means and don't sponge off of anyone.
Yeah, the message being sent is one that has absolutely NO accountability and encourages a generation to live like there is no tomorrow.
Rude awakenings are the result for many and for many others......an arrogant, self-centered attitude of expectations is the result and its THESE fools who become adults who have absolutely NO concept at frugality, thriftiness, budgeting and their impulsive buying habits.
It's ok though.....WE, as a nation are deep in debt and so are the people. It's obvious that there are those in society who feel they might as well spend and spend, sink in debt and mirror exactly what our government is sooooo good at!
They end up in debt or screaming for the government to bail them out if nobody else will anymore.
PATHETIC LOSERS who expect the world on a silver platter just handed to them for NOTHING!
PARASITES!
And to all those "supportive" parents who CHOOSE to fund your adult child's life........if you believe that it is such a good thing or that someday......you figure YOU will NEED your child's financial help in your "Golden Years" or help with your deteriorating health..........DON'T COUNT ON ANYTHING from your kids!
YOU will be tapped out......they will be tapped out and you WILL be seeking government assistance YOURSELVES!
Materialism, greed and "keeping up with the Jones's" way of living has GOT to STOP!
Great.......WE, the taxpayers.......HAVE to bail out YOU LOSER PARASITES and your adult children because YOU couldn't or wouldn't....say NO to your kids!
Comment: Reality... Reality NY is an expensive city. This country was built on loans and agreements with other people. KIng's and Queen's, politicians, dictators, you name it The United States more than likely had a lot of hands in the success of this nation. HELLO trillions of current debt that is owed by this country, to our selfs and others. Any of you people that say "no one has helped me " you are all ignorant. Some one taught you that work wthic youv got, some one said yes to your first credit card or first job. Was it some one who had a silver spoon in thier mouth...? maybe. Bottom line is.... What ever any one has to do to survive is the only answer. If a parent wants to pad a trust fund for their silver spooners thats their choice. Stop critisizing for what you did not have for that matter what you can not provide for your self. My mother is a single mom of 4 and helped me buy my first car with a 600.00 cintribution. Should I say Oh thats all youv helped with. NO of course not. What about all the taxes sha paid to public education that allowed me to go k-12 or the taxes she paid to get me a pell grant for the first two years of my college education. Final thought... stop being a bunch of baby winers about every little thing you do you and I'll do me what ever that takes and what ever is a "subsidy"
Comment: I grew up in a well-off family with parents that would have helped me out financially after college, had I asked. I never did and never would. Within two weeks of graduating I had my own apartment and I have paid every bill since. There were months and weeks where it was TIGHT and I ate off the dollar menu at McDonalds, but I made it work. Bottom line...if you are older than 22 and receiving any financial support from your parents, it is pathetic (outside of medical bills or emergencies). Speaking from real-life experience, struggling financially builds character and makes a child become an adult. I am considerably better off today because I went through tough times in my mid twenties...when with one phone call to my parents I could have fixed them, but chose not to.
Comment: While I think it's great that you are financially independent despite the fact that your parents would have been very willing and able to help you out, I'd be willing to bet that you had many advantages that led to your ability to be independent at this point. I'm 26 and financially independent, although it was a major struggle at times to get there, and I see my friends from well-off backgrounds who do not have student loans to worry about, they can drive a car their parents bought for them when they were in college, they didn't have to work during college to make ends meet, etc. I'm not trying to be hard on you, but I do think there's added pressure when you don't even have the *option* of having Mommy and Daddy make things all better. I knew I had to make it on my own or I was screwed, which maybe in retrospect was the best thing for me.
Comment: |The author's more sensible observations become a bit muddied when, at 25, she indulges in the following pronouncement: "Higher rents and the need for deeper pockets are part of the charm associated with city living, but urban pricing aside, it is possible to live in any city regardless of your age or income; it just takes a little budgeting and prioritizing." I take it she does not associate with longtime busine
