Subsidized in the City

I am so glad to hear that a twenty-something thinks this way! As a thirty-something I am disgusted by the sense of entitlement my younger sibiling, as well as my husbands younger sibilings seem to have regarding financial support from parents. From the time I was 12 I bought the majority of my clothes with my babysitting money . When I entered college I was lucky enough to have parents that could afford to pay my rent and tuition, however books, utilities, etc. were my responsibility. This meant that I had to work 2-3 jobs every summer and often a job during the school year. There have been many times when finances were tight for me, but I am so glad my parents taught me the value of budgeting and financial independence early in life.

When I was in my early 20's, my parents supported me until I moved in with my boyfriend, whom they disapproved of. At the time, I was very upset when they cut me off, especially because they were still helping out my older sister. In hindsight, it was the BEST thing they could've done for me. It forced me to assume responsibility (financial and otherwise) for my own life. On the other hand, my sister (who is now 44) continues to rely on my dad for financial help. That is partially due to her mental health issues, but I also believe it is also because she has never had to do it. Parents, if you are reading this article and/or board, cut your kids off!! They will be thankful for it in the long run. If you've done your job right, the kids will be fine.

Good for you! I feel the same way about being able to take care of my self; it's what I worked so hard to accomplish while working to get an education and then a good job.
A friend of mine who is 23 years old recently had to spend 4 days living at my house because her parents kicked her out of their house. Not only that, but she arrived with no car either (that took that away as well)! I was embarrassed for her but she seemed to think this was no big deal and would just go back home in a couple of days, apologize, and continue letting Mommy and Daddy take care of her. If I were her, I'd have been ashamed. But she was too proud of the expensives clothes and purses they bought her for it to dawn on her how pathetic it was that she had absolutely no control over her own "adult" life. Its things like this that make me grateful every day that I own my own condo (at 23!) and my own car. No one but me calls the shots and that is worth WAY more than Mommy and Daddy's credit cards.

She has the right perspecitve, but it becomes askewed when she criticizes her peers, and it makes her look immature, pompus and slightly bitter. Her judging others would be like if I judged her for not being responsible for paying her own student loans. I have a 25 yr old son, whom I do not believe has asked me for money since 16 yrs of age, made too much as a senior in HIGH SCHL for me to claim him on my taxes as a dependent, and his paying his own student loans, but works so hard he hasn't had time to reflect how great of a young person he is, nor is he so high on his own indepence he's had for almost 10 yrs already that he feels the need to look down on his friends that are still attached to parents. FRIENDS don't do that, so in her financial indepence maybe she could now fill her humility bank a bit and be nicer to those that still like her.

Well, reading about Melody is very refreshing, but reading about all of her friends and acquaintances just reminds me of one of the basic problems in today's society - children being spoiled by their parents, resulting in a feeling of entitlement and a complete lack of personal responsibility. This is why so many adults are in debt and can't manage their own finances, and why so many teens and young adults walk around acting like the world owes them something.
I am a 32 year old woman and have been financially independent for 10 years. Yes, my parents paid for my education, both private school and college (undergraduate only, I paid for grad school), but this was in service of a greater good. They value education a great deal and knew that by giving me (and my brother) a good education, we would be better prepared to do well in life and have stable careers. I lived with my parents for 3 years after graduating from college, but I paid room and board to them each month, while paying for my own car and insurance, as well as all of my other expenses (cell phone, food, personal care items, clothing, etc.). This allowed me the opportunity to save money so I was then able to get my own apartment for a couple of years and then buy a condo that I have owned for almost 4 years now. I have absolutely no debt (except my mortgage which doesn't really count as "debt"), my car is paid for, and I pay my credit card off in full every month. My parents taught me how to be responsible with my money. They provided for my needs while I was growing up without spoiling me. I am forever grateful for what they have done for me. Thankfully, I met a guy whose parents raised him in a similar fashion, so he too has no debt, owns his own condo, has a nice car that is paid for, and he has a healthy, responsible view of money. We will continue this positive pattern of money management with our own children as well, all the while hoping other parents are smart enough to do the same!

It's interesting that there are no comments from the other side of the coin.
I wonder if this article is getting to the right people, the PARENTS of the 20somethings, or better yet the 30somethings.

Can we make this article required reading for parents before they bring their babies home from the hospital?

My husband and I were having this exact conversation last night. My parents could never afford to pay for my life after high school, so Ive made it through a B.S. and now partly through a Masters on my own. I see others around me, older even, who still have parents flipping the bills, not just for their rent or utilities, but giving them spending money if they "need" new cloths or somesuch. I find it ridiculous and am ashamed of my generation. We want to have it all, in fact, we insist on it, but dont want to actually work for it ourselves. Obviously there are a few who work hard to get things, such as the writer of this article, but it still points out a flaw in society at the moment, parents still supporting adults. Its one thing to help out when things are hard, we all know its tough to get established but....When the kids are 25,26,etc and still cant handle their own financial matters, even a little.... theres a serious problem.....

All I can say is Amen! Finally a young person, without the feeling of "entitlement." that most of this generation feels privy too. Melody, you should be proud of yourself! I don't even know you and I am proud of you! I can only hope your article will make some of these "spoiled brats" think!

Giving your adult children money and paying for their bills only makes them irresponsible. I've been completely financially independent since I was 22. I bought my own home when I was 25. It wasn't hard for me because my parents never gave me much money, so I already knew how to budget. I had jobs throughout high school and college to pay for all the things I wanted but didn't really need. Start young so your don't find yourself in ruins when you're an adult.

I have 3 children who have learned financial responsibility as they have grown up. They all pay for their own cell phones, CARS, car insurance AND college. It's amazing what can happen when a child is taught that you have to work and save to get things in life, instead of thinking that they're "owed it" by Mom and Dad. As the saying goes....."It's not how much money you make, it's HOW YOU SPEND IT!!!!!" :-)

How about an elderly mother who had to sell her house to pay off serious credit card debt and decided to move in with my only younger sibling/sister who is 41 married with one daughter. Mom is now remodeling my sister's entire house...total renovation...new kitchen...adding an upstairs for extra bedrooms, an in-ground swimming pool with pool house, and of course, a 1,200 sq ft "in-law suite" claiming that it is all
for "mom". My husband have owned our house for over 10 years...same as my sister. We have steady worked very hard to gradually renovate, upgrade and installed a fiberglass in-ground pool with pool/guest house in 2004. My mother dropped the "F" bomb on me when I questioned her plans & promises to my sister. What lesson does my sister & her husband learn in life? Be slack...look sad...pout...and mom will provide because in her words, "she deserves it." I have four beautiful teenage daughters who are observing the entire scenario and it is a negative life lesson that is teaching me how to not treat my girls. I could never do so much for one and not acknowledge the other. It is cruel at the very least.

I must admit that I took some time out of my busy day to peruse this article. I agree wholeheartedly. I live with my wonderful husband of 25 1/2 years in Marysville, OH where the grass is greener. We both work really hard, especially Gloyd, who works night and day for me. What a dear sweet man he is. Love him with all my heart, I do. LOL gotta run, work to do...

I am so glad that I took the time to read this article. I am 18 years old, living in an apartment with my boyfriend of 6 years. He is putting himself through school, managing a restaurant and is an active musician. I work 40-45 hours a week, and am going to be starting evening school in the fall. I'll be paying for it myself and recieving financial aid. I have a few friends that continue to live off of their parents salaries and quite frankly, it makes me a little disgusted. I can't stand hearing about how mommy and daddy just bought them all new furniture or took them shopping and bought whatever they wanted when I work hard for the small luxuries that I share with my boyfriend. I think if I can do it at 18, then these twenty-something college graduates should be able to keep their heads above water. It's called a budget, folks. Think about it.

I completely agree with her! I am 22, living on my own, working 2 jobs to pay for it, and loving every minute! Since I have moved out 2 years ago the most I have ever asked my mom to loan me was $30 for gas (which I paid back within the week) I have several friends still depending on their parents for financial support and it leaves me feeling sad for them. There is nothing more satisfying than making it on your own, I hope people can learn that someday soon.

From a Baby Boomer getting ready to pass the torch, Melody Serafino gets it!

"Why do so many of my peers still live off their parents?" Because they can. Congratulations on not taking advantage (after college, of course) of your own wealthy parents. Your friends are simply fortunate, and if they don't see the beauty of financial independence as you do, oh well. I'm glad Melody is proud of herself, but none of the issues she writes about are new, interesting, or important.