Subsidized in the City

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  • Posted By: user1818 @ 07/23/2008 1:18:13 PM

    You are a hypocrite. Your parents have funded your entire education. You are in the position you are in now through your parent's gratuities, yet you denounce your peers for accepting gratuities from their parents. Your logic is flawed and your judgements are pathetic.

    • Posted By: steve c.. @ 07/23/2008 2:00:13 PM

      I completely agree with you, user1818, Melody does come off as a bit judgemental toward her peers after accepting large tuition checks year after year. My parents may help out with a grocery bill now and then, I only wish they funded a $100,000+, 10 year school bill at a private university!

  • Posted By: steve c.. @ 07/23/2008 1:49:24 PM

    I suck my own dick, and I do it a lot.

    Steve C.

  • Posted By: steve c. @ 07/23/2008 1:35:56 PM

    I agree with you Melody. My parents did help with my tuition. But I payed all of my living expenses and student loans. I would not be independent if I accepted money from my parents.

  • Posted By: steve c. @ 07/23/2008 1:35:09 PM

    I agree with you Melody. My parents did help with my tuition. But I payed all of my living expenses and student loans. I would not be independent if I accepted money from my parents.

  • Posted By: steve c. @ 07/23/2008 1:33:04 PM

    I completely agree with you Melody. My parents did help me with tuition. But I paid all my living expenses, and students loans. I would not be independent if I accepted money from them.

    Steve C

  • Posted By: larearick @ 07/23/2008 11:42:32 AM

    I completely agree with the premise of this article. I share the same situation with the author - I am a financially independent New Yorker, who observes many of my friends living off of their parent's money. In addition to the individual Generation Y'ers, I believe a lot of the problem lies in the hands of the parents (my parents made it very CLEAR to me that I was to be independent once I completed college). There is no pride in relying on your parents to take care of you - you're not an adult until you can exist on your own without Mommy and Daddy's hands to guide you.

  • Posted By: dibdabbler @ 07/22/2008 7:46:21 PM

    First, hats off to you, Ms. Serafino. I listened to your interview with Neil Conan on NPR, and it was refreshing to hear another twentysomething who sees the importance of obtaining financial independence upon entering the working world.
    To those who found this piece elitist: It is extremely presumptive to claim that Ms. Serafino's parents are wealthy or that she has a trust fund because she attended a private college. I know plenty of students at private colleges, including myself, whose parents are not rich. It is both wrong and ignorant to lump all those who received a private education into one distinct group. An education is a prudent financial investment. Gucci purses are not. Smart parents knows that spending $200,000 for a good education will greatly increase their child???s own financial security later on down the road. It is wrong to condemn Serafino for having parents who paid her tuition bills; there is a notable difference between a financed education and a financed high-end lifestyle. Serafino understands and appreciates this difference, and that is the point she is trying to make: parents should be there financially for their children when it is needed, assuming they can be, but when it comes to superfluous, needless expenses, a young person needs to foot the bill herself if she wishes to call herself a responsible adult.

  • Posted By: Clarissa1982 @ 07/23/2008 9:34:13 AM

    I feel just like you! I'm 26 and since 23 I'm financially independent. And by that time I was raising my 2-years-old daughter completely on my own!!! Whereas a friend of mine who had no kids and lived with his parents still had fights at home because "papa won't give me spending money enough", I was able to save some and sometimes I would even lend some to him... (Sorry for any mispellings, I haven't written a word in English for a long time, it's not my native language... I'm Brazilian).

  • Posted By: Clarissa1982 @ 07/23/2008 9:33:47 AM

    I feel just like you! I'm 26 and since 23 I'm financially independent. And by that time I was raising my 2-years-old daughter completely on my own!!! Whereas a friend of mine who had no kids and lived with his parents still had fights at home because "papa won't give me spending money enough", I was able to save some and sometimes I would even lend some to him... (Sorry for any mispellings, I haven't written a word in English for a long time, it's not my native language... I'm Brazilian).

  • Posted By: nicben @ 07/23/2008 9:05:58 AM

    I appreciate this article. It is extremely important for people to learn financial indepence. Such strong dependency on parents can stifle a persons growth and not allow them to make responsible decisions. It's okay to turn to your parents when you are in need, but people shouldn't abuse the crutches they have. I felt the writer of this article did a very nice job capturing this conflict and portrayed her opinion in an effective manner.

  • Posted By: nicben @ 07/23/2008 9:01:57 AM

    This article is great. It is extremely important for people to learn financial independence. Being dependent upon one's parents can stifle growth in a person. With the knowledge of having the parents as a crutch, people are more inclined to abuse that crutch and never learn how to make their own responsible decisions. I appreciate the author capturing this information and having a strong opinion on the matter.

  • Posted By: horndacy @ 07/22/2008 6:03:20 PM

    THANK YOU! I could not agree more! I loved the artical and because it didn't apply to me in any way, shape, or form, I didn't feel the need to go on the defense. I grew up in an extremely low-income environment, raised by a single mother and have been responsible for myself since I was 17 yrs. old. I put myself through 5 yrs. of college [a $200,000 education] with no help from my parents, as they could not provide it. I had jobs throughout my entire college career and was the only person I knew that was paying my own rent, car payment, books, tuition, etc. Even now that I've been out of college for a year, I still see my colleagues having their rent, car payments, and student loans paid for by their parents while they spend their money on clothes, eating out, and other material items. Not only am I fully responsible for my loans and all living expenses, but I also have a mortgage and contribute to my 401K. I don't know very many people who are 23 yrs. old that can say that. The individuals who have never had to stand on their own two feet will most likely fall at least once when their parents finally stop holding their hands. My mother regrets that she couldn't have 'helped' me more financially, but I tell her that I'm a much stronger person because I had to do it all myself and I thank her for that. Throwing money at your kids doesn't necessarily make them you a good parent, rather teaching your children to be strong, productive members of society will help them much more. You appreciate things a lot more when its your dime that pays for it, not Mommy and Daddy.

    • Posted By: all_ears @ 07/23/2008 8:27:19 AM

      I admire you and your story greatly. All moms and dads that are still footing the bills for their adult children can only worry that their love ones face competition from people like you. You deserve all the success that comes your way.

  • Posted By: Bill-01105 @ 07/21/2008 8:31:55 AM

    As a 50 year old guy living in the author's hometown, I feel that she's selling short the idea of taking out 'long-term' loans from Dad. I still do, and have no intention of paying him back. Now that I know that your Dad has some free cash from not handing it over to you, I'll hit him up tomorrow morning.

    • Posted By: madmadhu @ 07/23/2008 5:19:13 AM

      That's not fair and will count as inside information being misused. :)

  • Posted By: madmadhu @ 07/23/2008 4:52:11 AM

    This article is true not just for NYC but anywhere in the world. If you don't have it don't spend it. so what if you cannot pay exhorbitant rent or afford designer stuff. Big deal! Using your own money to live and not run back to mama and papa to fix everything with a check, that's adulthood. otherwise you are just an overgrown baby playing at being an adult.

  • Posted By: madmadhu @ 07/23/2008 4:46:46 AM

    I find this article to be relevant not just for NYC but anywhere else in the world. Young employed adults would do well to stay within their means. Whether it is the exhorbitant rent or designer ware. If you can't afford it, don't use it. Big deal! Don't go running back to mom and papa for the check to fix everything.

  • Posted By: Kait @ 07/22/2008 9:32:19 AM

    to Ron Paul For Pope: Thanks for completely missing the point. Ms. Serafino is only telling the truth about the voluminous existence of over-priviledged twenty-somethings in NYC, many of which happen to be her acquaintances (which you ignorantly blame her for?)

    Clearly Ms. Serafino states in her article that she is thankful to her parents for her private education and is indebted to them because of it, hence her financial independence and the MAJOR difference between herself and her snobby peers. But the problem is deeper here than just spoiled kids, which is why we cannot chalk the problem up to just that. The problem is rooted in materialism brought on by the American dream and trickled down through generations in which parents measure their success by how much they can give their children. Well doesn't that complicate things a little more?

    The blame is certainly not with the author of this article for seeing the truth about the generational differences that are occuring among the educated middle class and the young professionals it has breeded. So when you say that you don't want to hear anything more from this author because she does not know "how the world really works," think a little more about the implications of what you're saying. I'll give you a hint: this young, educated "boring" female author knows a lot more about how the world "really" works than you do.

    I'd love to know your answer, Ron Paul For Pope, how does the world "really work?"

    • Posted By: Ron Paul For Pope @ 07/22/2008 12:58:10 PM

      Wow, that was complete nonsense. If you're sticking up for your friend, I applaud your loyalty. But that's it.

      It is hypocritical of her to criticize her friends, when in fact, she's barely different. We'd all like three months rent-free in Tribeca, courtesy of our land-owning uncle. Trouble is, most of us don't have that option.

      Since you asked, the world works thanks to all the people with whom she's apparently not friends. The vast majority of people who make her life possible didn't go to private schools or have rich uncles. They've known since high school that they need to get a job that will put food on the table. If they went to college, lots of them majored in something that would, again, put food on the table. Some of them joined the military, because in their towns, that was the best option. Some of them died for Ms. Serafino in Iraq.

      Some of the people who make the world work are single mothers, who struggle in the hope that their kids will have a better life than they did. Some other people are cabdrivers, who come to NYC to make money for their families back home, but risk discrimination, abuse, or violence. But they still work.

      Any one of those people who make the world work is more interesting than Ms. Serafino.

      After getting a gold-plated booster ride to the top, thanks to her family, this is the best she can do? An article about how she can hold down a job and live within her means? What's next, an article about how she drove herself to the supermarket? I'm surprised you think that there are any great metaphysical truths in this stuff.

      Also, Kait, since we're such good friends now, how do you know that she knows more about how the world works? Because she's better educated? I have a Ph.D. Does she? I paid for my degree with a research assisantship. Who paid for her degree? I can design a computer. Ever heard of those? Can she do that?

      • Posted By: nyc83 @ 07/22/2008 6:47:34 PM

        Ron Paul For Pope, just b/c Ms. Serafino isn't struggling doesn't mean she is out of touch with how the ???world really works". In fact, seeing that "she can hold down a job and live within her means" proves to me that if this isn't how the "world really works", it really ought to be.

        ???They've known since high school that they need to get a job that will put food on the table. If they went to college, lots of them majored in something that would, again, put food on the table. Some of them joined the military, because in their towns, that was the best option. Some of them died for Ms. Serafino in Iraq.??? Is this suggesting that Ms. Serafino did not know since HS she needed to get a job that will put food on the table, b/c to me she apparently has known this given she does provide for herself! Further, it also apparently looks like she majored in something useful that produces for herself and that she clearly is using all she learned while in college, again, given she does provide for herself! I for one highly respect all our troops and am most grateful for their great service to our country; that being said, what are you implying???

        Also, your last paragraph really comes off as haughty- not having a Ph.D nor the ability to design a computer hardly means one is inferior. I'm failing to see how you qualify more than anyone else in determining Ms. Serafino's point is inaccurate and useless.

        • Posted By: Ron Paul For Pope @ 07/22/2008 11:51:54 PM

          "what are you implying???"

          I ask nothing of Ms. Serafino. I am implying that Americans younger than her have married, started families, gone to war for their country, and died. I believe their stories deserve this web page more than hers, because they have truly sacrified for our benefit. Maybe their stories will result in better veterans benefits. Maybe someone will help save their homes from being foreclosed.

          On the other hand, the more I read a self-congratulatory story about paying your bills as an adult and not hitting up your well-heeled parents, the less I want to read.

          "I'm failing to see how you qualify more than anyone else in determining Ms. Serafino's point is inaccurate and useless"

          You're right, I'm no more qualified than anyone else to comment on this article. Apparently, all kinds of people find it irritating.

          _________________________

          PS - I noticed that the top of my browser has the title, "My Turn: When Should Parents Stop Paying the Rent?", whereas the article itself is titled, "Subsidized in the City." I imagine the backstory behind that difference to be amusing.

          nyc83, go take Newsweek to task for having some fun at Ms. Serafino's expense! In fact, I'm beginning to believe that the publication of this article was championed by her enemies.

  • Posted By: Kreskin @ 07/22/2008 8:38:44 PM

    Ummm...I don't think that there is anything presumptuous about coming to the conclusion that Serafino is from a wealthy family, based on her own statement that her parents paid for "10 years of private school education on their dime". Unless her parents are living extremely and impossibly beyond their means, there is no way that they can be anything but Upper Class. Which is fine...some people have the $$ and thus the ability to help their children out if they choose. I want to make it clear that I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with this, that is what good parents do. My point, which I admit was a bit long winded (yet I believe it to be very relevant) was to point out that not everybody has this luxury...VERY FEW PEOPLE HAVE THIS LUXURY. I'm just trying to add some reality here, my intention was not at all to be pitied. My intention was to point out that she has made some extremely non sequitur and (yes!) ELITIST statements, whether she (or you) recognize it as that....this is my perception and I have a right to state it as such. Yes, NYC is where my heart is and I'm very protective of it, especially when it's being promoted as the Mecca for every 'Sex and The City' wanna be (the nod, however tongue-in-cheek it may be is obviously promoted in this article). There was and is so much more to NYC than this extremely materialist, pseudo-reality that television/ Hollywood has created.

  • Posted By: nyc83 @ 07/22/2008 7:33:38 PM

    Kreskin, you've completely moved beyond the point of Ms. Serafino's article and have gone so far as to suggest that given her headstart, her article holds no merit. I honestly find most of your commentary is a long winded pity me piece that does not relate to the article.

    Whether the author is rich or poor, black or white, young or old, etc., his/her point is still valid and meaningful. Ms. Serafino sums it up best with, ???There is something to be said for writing that rent check each month and knowing you've managed to live comfortably on your own terms.??? I believe the article???s message is that one should live at their means and not beyond their means via family assistance. Extraordinary circumstances aside, I simply don???t see how anyone can justify the creation of a bad habit. Providing for, and accepting, assistance to live beyond what you should is wrong. I fully support that parents should help out when NECESSARY (I wish my parents had that option), however providing for an adult (as that???s what they really are at this point) to live beyond their means is not right.

    Sure, some may argue parents can do as they wish with their money. Or that the money may be given to the children eventually anyway. Well, if these are the cases, I would much rather see the parents donate it to a child who needs financial assistance to get through school. At this point, the parents have given their children all the tools to succeed, so why not use whatever is left over to give someone less fortunate a greater chance than they ordinarily would have to succeed? Clearly Ms. Serafino made the best of the education provided to her and I bet anyone else who needed assistance to attend school would too.

  • Posted By: Portland83 @ 07/22/2008 7:15:24 PM

    I am a 24 year old college graduate living in Seattle. I make less than $2000 dollars a month working as a receptionist. I am currently living on an air mattress in what is supposed to be the living room of the apartment I live in because the rent was cheap ($540 a month) and I can't afford to buy a bed or mattress. I'm about to start paying back my student loans to the tune of almost $1000 a month. I resent the implication that my decision to move back in with my parents somehow makes me less of an adult than the author. If I could even begin to make it on my own, I would be doing so.

  • Posted By: Nico00 @ 07/21/2008 8:56:10 PM

    P.S. I agree 100% with reese1001's comment

    • Posted By: nyc83 @ 07/22/2008 6:16:33 PM

      I disagree 100% with your and reese1001's comments. While we may never know the true situation, I believe both of you are too quick to discount her opinions just because her parents gave her a head start. For all we know, her parents could have saved every nickel and dime and cut back wherever possible in order to put her through school. I know many families where this has happened. While we do not know if this is Ms. Serafino's circumstance, we can at least see she's using whatever was given to her wisely and responsibly, something no one should discount.

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