Subsidized in the City

You are right Kreskin, she is being exclusive. She is exclusively talking about similarly situated people, who want to live the good life - above and beyond their means, but can only afford to because mom and dad are continuing to support them. They might be in trouble if they continue to do this. All the economists are saying the same thing to all Americans, particularly now - live within your own means.

The comments I've made about this article are not meant to say that Ms. Serafino is a bad person. I have never met her. I only know her from this article. That's great that she volunteers in her community, it is indeed commendable...so do thousands of other people (including myself), but that's not the subject of her piece (perhaps it would have made for a better article, though). I stand by the comments that I made. What I wrote was indeed inspired by the overall tone implied and substance of her piece, accompanied by her interview on NPR, which I believe...in my opinion (which everyone is entitled to...even us "back-talkers") is shortsighted, exclusive, and generally uninformed.

What Melody does not mention in her article is that she not only supports herself, but also volunteers on her own dime. She serves as a mentor to a child in need, and takes that child to the movies and on other excursions. The child's family cannot afford to pay for such trips, nor can the nonprofit agency, The Family Center (www.thefamilycenter.org), which has paired her with this child. For all her critics, it seems that Melody learned more than simply how to support herself from her parents; they also taught her how to give back to the community. And that lesson makes the whole of New York City richer -whether their parents support them or not.

It seems to me that many talk-backers have missed the point of the authors article. They seem to take issue with her assuming that she is lumping anyone who takes any assistance from their parents or outside source is an equal offender, which anyone who read the substance of the article would know is not the case. She is simply offering an observation an a small albeit growing minority of twentysomethings that could otherwise take care of themselves but choose to a live a cosmopolitan lifestyle far beyond their means by having that lifestyle subsidized by their parents. She was not in anyway targeting young people who are being assisted by their parents due to overburdening student loans or other debts. People should consider that she is 1) talking about a very specific subgroup of people, 2) is not saying that what these people are doing is wrong, but rather that what they do can be personally stifling and 3) overall her main idea is about a sense of personal responsibility that comes with becoming an adult, something that any objective person should see as being a positive thing. I urge future respondents to criticize or compliment the author within the scope of the article and not make their comments about broader issues that are not the focus of the author's article.

Pardon me, I meant ilk.

(cont.) She indeed represents a fairly large part of what has ruined NYC for me as well as several thousands of other people...the infiltration of "hordes of boring, over-privileged, useless girls (alas, yes, not yet women) mobbing the city in search of martinis and investment bankers" (very well said, RPFP), raising the rent, chasing out poor/average people, local businesses, etc. As said before, NYC is losing it's flavor and it's largely in part due to people like Ms. Serafino calling what use to be considered the 'slum' or 'ghetto' by her elk as their new home (as it becomes the next, hip neighborhood). I've watched it happened and it's really sad. I've seen family run bodegas that have been in neighborhoods for half a century or more be pushed out due to exorbitant rent increases, I've watched friends who I grew up with be forced to move because they could no longer afford the rent at a place they called home for 25 years. I watched as first Avenue A was swallowed by high priced bistros, trendy bars, and high rise apartments...then the same happen on Avenues B, C and D. I predict that some of you will read this and simply say that it's part of "progress" or "urban renewal", but those phrases are purely euphemisms for throwing the poor/ average person to the curb and is akin to what happened at Chavez Ravine in Southern California or what is currently happening in San Francisco's 'Mission District'. With that said, I do realize that Ms. Serafino was 'primarily' regarding to how her and her upper crust friends live, but her insinuation that she is so much better and more responsible (don't pat yourself on the back too hard) is just annoying. She comes across as far from being grown-up or adult. She's living in a trust fund sponsored bubble, and as far as her gloating about living off of her own savings, it's a lot easier to save money when you don't have to spend it on: living, food, rent, school, loans, etc... I apologize it seems that I went off topic a bit, but it did indeed really strike a nerve. All you have to do is read between the lines. I actually subscribe to Newsweek, and am very disappointed by their decision to include this piece in their publication. I can't wait for the print issue...woo.

Firstly, kudos to RPFP, who said nearly everything I was going to say in response to the people whom actually think that Ms. Serafino's article is of any substantial value. It's true, unless you live or have lived in the REAL world with REAL people with REAL financial worries and have accumulated REAL life experiences, your understanding of how the other 90% of the population lives is completely devalued. She indeed wrote an opinion piece, but doesn't that warrant other people's opinions in response?! Isn't that the idea?! I'm not going to swallow this sugar coated trumpery as proper journalism. Part of my beef with the author is that when she was interviewed on NPR regarding this piece, she boldly made the statement that "I think everyone can manage to make it work in NY...yes maybe you have to cut back on some of the superfluous spending as I'll call it in order to sort of scrape by...". I think her definitions of both superflous and scraping by are perhaps a bit skewed. I'm not a gambling man, but I'm willing to bet that she doesn't view buying a pair of shoes without holes in them, or eating-vs-paying rent as "superfluous" nor I doubt that she has ever had to "scrape by" on surviving on ramen noodles, and bartering with the phone/electric company to keep your phone/ heat on. There's a reason that people are taking offense to her, she's completely disconnected with what so many of us had to go through just to survive, and claiming to have made major sacrifices in her life while using the phrase "scraping by" is an absolute insult to those of us who have truly had to scrape by. She went there first, she compared her situation to the common person...which she is far from with all of her help from wealthy parents/ family members and a financial safety net to fall back on. This is when I realized that she was a bit delusional. (cont.)

I'm 27. My parents allow me to live rent-free in their second home (a condo) near my graduate school so that I don't have to use the bulk of my stipend to pay housing expenses. Is there something wrong with that? Nope. They offered, and it's not a hardship. My parents inherited nothing from their parents, and my father's take has been that starting with nothing is a really tough road, one he chooses to help his children avoid. He made the money; it's his choice how to use it.

gf

Ms. Serafino -

I'm sure every single mother in NYC appreciates your gumption.

Congrats. You made NYC suddenly seem a whole lot less interesting. I imagine hordes of boring, over-privileged, useless girls (alas, yes, not yet women) mobbing the city in search of martinis and investment bankers.

Unless you write about a stint on an Alaskan fishing boat, or picking lettuce, or anything about you learning how the world really works, I won't be looking forward to anything else from you.

Wow, people think the author is a trust-fundee because she her parents paid for her education?! That's a leap, especially because I believe the entire ARTICLE was about severing ties with financial dependence coinciding with finishing her structured education.

First, SHE wrote an article, YOU clicked the link, YOU wrote a response, and SHE got paid.
Sceond, I don't even know what the point is, but the idea is pretty interesting. Like NYC is some bright light that draws wealthy young girls like moths to sap their strength with only some illusory benefit... ? You never know if you're worth anything til you try to be something? Or maybe, people who have money don't even try to be anything. However you look at it, don't insult the author... she gets hits.

As a 24-year-old struggling to pull myself through law school I wholeheartedly agree that financial independence is a vital component to maturing and becoming responsible. Still, it's easy to see why so many people on here are annoyed at this article. It's good to be opinionated, but if you want people to take your opinion seriously (rather than roll their eyes in annoyance) you need to show the reader that your opinion is based on something more substantial than shallow observation of some hypothetical friends. The author makes it sound like the biggest problem facing our age group is inability to abstain from charging Gucci shoes on daddy's credit card. Maybe that's the case with the author's friends, but for most young adults in America that's not the reality. Also, the author goes out of her way to pat herself on the back for being financially independent, while arguing that "those other people" are getting everything handed to them on a silver platter. She is totally oblivious to the fact that from other people's perspective she is exactly one of those "silver platter" people she is preaching against.

Umm...normal people are forced to be financially independent right out of high school. I wouldn't call having your parents pay for your college and being able to live in an uncle's house for free to "save" the normal life...You, my dear are yet another trust funder just the type of person you claim to be against.

Bless you!

As a 23-year-old living in New York without help from a parent, I had to roll my eyes when I read this column and listened to Ms. Serafino on NPR. She is writing about a very elite, very small percentage of twenty-somethings who largely, I'm guessing, come from the same elite social class that allowed Ms. Serafino to be put through private school her whole life. If she hadn't been well-educated and lucky to have parents wealthy enough to give her all the best early on, she wouldn't be in the position she's in now to be proselytizing about the importance of self-sufficiency.

The author is far too young and inexperienced to be doling out this condescending drivel. Owning the 'Sex and The City' box-set does not qualify her as an advice columnist. It's almost as if she's living in a pretend world, all the while knowing that she can fall back on her wealthy parents if she ever needs to. This was not my reality when I lived in NYC. I worked two jobs to put myself through college, as I accrued ridiculous loans. I was not guaranteed a job out of school (welcome to REALITY) and struggled not only to pay rent, but to buy food all the while defaulting on my student loans and I lived in Brooklyn...before it was hip! I eventually moved to Manhattan, but not to Triceca or SoHo, but to Alphabet City (if the author even remembers when it was called that). I don't mean to take this too personally, and this may sound a bit harsh, but people like the author (over-privileged wealthy white kids who want to "slum it" in the city) helped to change the face of a city that I loved, into a Disneyland for a new generation of yuppies. People who's families had lived in areas for generations were literally pushed into the water, because they could no longer afford to live in what would become the "new, hip neighborhood". These people added flavor to a city that is growing increasingly bland. I could accept this if it was written by a young person who had to struggle against adversity to make it...but come on, private school (!) and staying with a wealthy uncle until you can afford to make it on your own is in stark contrast to what the author is prematurely and pretentiously promoting. I (and millions of other young people) wish I had the option of turning away money. It's not much of a risk if you know you have a safety net. I think she unwittingly summed this up in the last two sentences of her conclusion "...the adult part of me believes that working for what you have is much more rewarding than being handed it on a silver platter. And I have my own mom and dad to thank for that." This is hard to swallow, as she seems to have indeed been given everything on a silver platter. She deserves a humbling moment