Subsidized in the City

Making your own way is the characteristic of a "slef-actualized" individual. Continuing reliance on parents, with parents blessing or not, indicates lack of maturity. The age of the "dependent" will determine how close to being a true "dead-beat" a dependent is.

It's good to know that there are people like you still in the world, and very sad to know that there are people so out of touch with reality that not only do they lack an iota of financial independence, they are completely devoid of financial understanding. How can someone who has never felt an opportunity cost understand the value of a dollar - or even of their own time.
In response to your friend that said that she would just get a loan from her parents or a husband - I was instructed many times growing up to never marry someone with such a diluted sense of money. If I were to marry such a person I would become the new 'daddy.' My money would be squandered with the same disregard with which she used her parents money. The big difference would be that I'm not as well off as her parents probably are. To her parents she is a nuisance to me she would be the cause of financial ruin.

There's nothing wrong with parents helping their kids get through college, but parents need to know if their child is studying and not partying. School is serious biz and a supporting parent has every right to know what their child is up to. It's easy to be careless and take things for granted when you're getting a free ride.

I also wonder what is Generation Y learning? I was not born to a family with money or connections, but I do not any money from my parents. After attending college I had to make my own way. I had to find a place to live, start paying loans back, and was unemployeed in my field. I had to work 3 full time jobs and prayed that I would not get sick and miss a day. At one point I even put groceries on a credit card, but I never-never
asked my parents for THEIR money and I never stopped investing for my future even if it was only $3 a week. After 3 years of working hard, I finally climbed out of the dark hole of college cost and I appreciate a 40 hour work week. My parents are very proud of me and I am happy that they have 0 debt. They own 3 new cars and their home. They can actually stop working when they retire and not work part time to cover my expenses for me.
I also know the other side. My cousin who is only 2 yrs. younger expects his parents to pay for everything. He does not know what it is to work a full time job and has zero appreciation for anything. His parents even sold their dream home to buy a home for his wife and kids. They buy the groceries, gas, day care, and utilities. And I wonder---why do they need gas and day care when neither of them work,. They will never be able to stop working and I wonder what will happen when they die. Who will take care of him then? How will they survive, it will be such a shock to even try to pay bills let alone balance a check book.
I see this as a treand in this generation. They have never been taught to do without until it is earned. They need to understand that their parents did not have the new cars, all the latest electronics, and a new house when they where fresh out of college (or when they went straight to work out of high school). They had to earn them and they had to do it on their own. Why then are they not teaching their children the same? How are they ever going to be adults?

I am 25 and my parents have offered some financial assistance to me and my brother over the years, but they centennially didn???t go overboard.

My parents made business deals with us. Like??? 1st My parents paid my car insurance while I was in high school as long as I was on the honor roll, if I didn???t make the honor roll I had to pay it myself. But once I finished high school that deal was gone, I started paying it myself. 2nd when I started college they offered me a deal that if I graduated with a 3.0 or above they would pay ½ of my student loans, which they did. I am sure over those years I raided a few hundred dollars worth of food from their house, but what college student didn???t?

However, now that I am 25 I am an adult and thus do not get any money from my parents anymore. I recently decided to go back to school. I wish my parents would offer me help with my tuition. I pay all of my own bills. Sure I still get a few handouts from my parents on occasion (for example their old bedroom set) but they do not give me hard cash. Even when I had $8k in medical bills last winter, I paid them all myself.

If these parents are subsidizing their kids lifestyles then they are only hurting them in the long run.

I have a friend who is 27. Since high school her parent have paid for her car, rent, clothes, gas, and are now paying ½ of her mortgage and her utilities. But in giving all of this money they hold total control over her. They have access to her checking, credit card accounts, and regularly ask her why she bought something or why is there a credit card charge for a bar on a weekday. Whenever she does something they don???t like, they threaten her with selling her house or car or whatever.

When comparing my friends life to mine, I would like all the free stuff, but I am much happier controlling my own life.

Parental support after graduation was never an option for me. But because they're well off, people tend to assume I'll be living off of Daddy's credit cards until I'm 30. Every time I stop to look at a gorgeous dress in a shop window, without any intention of actually blowing a month's worth of food on it, my friends encourage me to buy it because "your parents will pay for it anyway." No, they won't. They might if I asked, but I was not raised to take advantage of generous people.

To richlrn: I see your point, but it's not just women who are living off of their parents. I know many males in NYC who are heavily subsidized by Mom and Dad, too.

I'm trying to make ends meet in the city as a young woman. For the year that I was a full-time grad student, I worked 3 part-time jobs and took out loans to make it work. My parents are extremely generous and I know that in a financial emergency, they will be my safety net But it's worth it to me to make mistakes, figure out how to budget, and try to do it on my own as much as possible. The money I borrowed from them to move when starting grad school--I paid that back in full once I started working again.
When times are rough (in terms of money) and I hear my mom trying to comfort me by saying, "You live in the most expensive city in the country; of course it's hard to make ends meet" I remind her that I made this choice in location. I could be living in a much more affordable place, but for various reasons I chose to live here. For that reason, I should be responsible for the resulting financial impact.

Your sermon doesn't tell the wholel story. Ms. Serafino. These parental remittances inflate rents, the higher rents attract more generous Mom'n'Dad subsidies, and the vicious cycle continues. It's another bubble fueled by idiots with too much money, and in this case, you're the victim. Welcome to my City.

It's so true about parents paying for everything and controlling your life still. I refuse to let that happen so I will not ask my parents for anything. I was even homeless for about 6 months partly because I didn't want their help and partly because they wouldn't help. The kicker though...my younger sister gets her rent paid, her utilities paid and her gas and insurance paid.

My parents tell me that they don't pay for anything however she works at a golf course part time for $12 an hour and has an $800 a month rent payment, cable, cable internet, a land line and a cell phone and she partys every weekend and sometimes during the week, she always has new clothes and hairstyles and the list goes on. I work a full-time job making twice what she does and I just got cable and internet after 4 years of not having it because I couldn't afford it. However I wouldn't trade my life with hers for anything...I love being financially independent from my parents and I can't wait until they can't support her anymore...she'll be homeless in a month!

I'm living that very same story only instead of my parents supporting me...which they never have (I was even homeless for about 6 months till I got my feet back on the ground)...they support my sister. They pay her rent, her utilities, and her gas and truck insurance. She pays for food and partying. They say they don't pay for anything except that she makes $12 an hour at a part time job at a golf course and lives in an apartment that costs about $800 a month in rent, plus she has a cell phone, land line, cable, cable internet and the list goes on.

I work for a consulting company making twice what she does full time and sometimes I still struggle to make ends meet. I can't wait until my parents can't support her anymore and she's on her own. She'll be homeless in a month.

Try being a financially responsible single guy trying to date these women whose parents are supporting them. They have no sense of reality or propriety and a huge self entitlement complex.

Yes too many kids live off mom and dad but this author has some kind of lifestyle that the average person does not. My parent (I only had 1) wasn't able to help out much in college so that meant loans and credit cards to get by. Now I'm paying all of that back and while she isn't paying all my rent she is helping out here and there when I have a copay or a car repair I have to pay for when I'm short on income.
And as for living in the city in some states that is where the employment is and with gas prices who can afford to drive? Thank god I chose to live in the city where the bus comes and gets me everyday no matter how much gas is.
Also the author needs to widen her scope. I live in the city because I am a minority and I want to see people that look like me and share the same lifestyle-these type of people are few and far between in the burbs where rent is lower. Lots of people are broke so whatever helps them get by is what helps them get by!
Besides like many kids I plan to look after my parent in her old age and I'm sure she will be glad she sent me a little cash every now and then for that kind of love and support in her older years.!!!!!

I was told, in the early stages of parenting, that a parent's goal is to raise healthy, responsible children who can survive on their own and be positive, contributing citizens when they leave your nest. Occassionally we need some support from someone in our lives, but paying for your child's rent/living expenses is just as bad as them still living with you after high school. It's not what's best for them and will teach them nothing but to remain immature and irresponsible for their own lives. To this self-centered generation in which Entitlement is what you expect from the rest of the world: "get over it, grow up and get a job. There is NO FREE LUNCH. We all worked for what we have, so should you!"