Subsidized in the City

I'm 24, also living in NYC, and completely self-sufficient as well. And I couldn't agree more with everything the author has to say. As for the people who are saying that a state school education may not be good enough to get high paying jobs, I would like to remind them that some people, myself included, paid for their own fancy private school educations. Moreover, this isn't about making 100K a year -- I don't and I doubt the author does -- it's about learning live with what you've got.

Yes - she's lucky to have had the little helpful boosts, but the point is that such help from parents shouldn't be EXPECTED to the extent it is! She's not talking about parents helping 20something kids when the kids are in a crunch...she's talking about the big-pockets for big-spending, without the understanding of real financial responsibility. I grew up with financial responsiblity very early - even though it wasn't pushed by my parents - but I could never figure out why my peers EXPECTED mom & dad to buy them that expensive new car on their 16th...etc. I still can't. My kids sure won't be growing up that way!!

I found my job by driving by a sign that said Now Hiring. I applied. I got the job as a secretary, and through happy luck was promoted after a girl got pregnant. Yay! And I've been saving since I got my first job at 14, so yes, my security deposit was paid on my own with help from my roomate: my boyfriend of 4 years. I bought the car myself, most of the down payment was savings and tax refund. I have no one to co-sign, so I pay 25% interest until can refinance it. Which makes my payment outrageous, but manageable. My insurance is in my name, and I pay that also. On my own. College is all my money and financial aid.

I am 36 years old and certainly at 25, was getting things from my mom. She bought a refrigerator for me, she might have given me a few hundred bucks to help me cover my rent, but once I left home at 18, I was on my own. I wanted to 'find myself' I told her. She told me to go right ahead, but that she would not be subsidizing that 'want'. So I had to FIGURE IT OUT. I joined the military and proceeded to travel the world. The military, inturn, paid for my education and I have gone on to have INCREDIBLE jobs. I have everything now and got it ALL on my own. Strong work ethic, getting into the trenches, letting go of caring what people thought. I am single, work for a high profile commericial real estate developer, OWN a home, have a dog. And my mom's job is to come and help me decorate. And that is all I need her to help me with, these days. All these people need to do is realize that NO ONE is responsible for helping you out. Once you are 18, you are an adult and you have to figure things out. Trust me, it builds character and when you get in a jam in the real world, mommy and daddy can't help. Rely on yourself! It will make you feel better! Certainly worked for me!

I am 36 years old and certainly at 25, was getting things from my mom. She bought a refrigerator for me, she might have given me a few hundred bucks to help me cover my rent, but once I left home at 18, I was on my own. I wanted to 'find myself' I told her. She told me to go right ahead, but that she would not be subsidizing that 'want'. So I had to FIGURE IT OUT. I joined the military and proceeded to travel the world. The military, inturn, paid for my education and I have gone on to have INCREDIBLE jobs. I have everything now and got it ALL on my own. Strong work ethic, getting into the trenches, letting go of caring what people thought. I am single, work for a high profile commericial real estate developer, OWN a home, have a dog. And my mom's job is to come and help me decorate. And that is all I need her to help me with, these days. All these people need to do is realize that NO ONE is responsible for helping you out. Once you are 18, you are an adult and you have to figure things out. Trust me, it builds character and when you get in a jam in the real world, mommy and daddy can't help. Rely on yourself! It will make you feel better! Certainly worked for me!

I'm 25, and I got married and moved out when I was 22. Granted its been hard, but we have never had to ask either of our parents for rent money, or money for this bill or that bill. And we did that on $29,000 income our first year. What I am getting at is, not all of us "twenty-somethings" live the high life and take what we have forgranted as this picture she paints portrays. We have worked very hard for what we have and we are very proud of that...So get out of New York, and get a realistic idea of how the REAL American twenty-something lives!

kpicinch - Thanks for the update on your life / financial status. Maybe you should grow up and move to a lower cost of living area. Relying on your parents is a joke. I never have and never will, and I'm teaching my kids to be self sufficient financially. I was completely poor until I was 32, now I have a net worth close to $1 million without any help from anyone. I made things happen for myself. You should do the same....anything else is a recipe for disaster. You are brainwashed my friend, and unfortunately your parents still allowing this to happen is part of the problem.

Whether you'd older or fresh out of college, everyone knows you have to know someone to make it in this game. So what her parents helped her get a job? So what she stayed free somewhere for a few months. She's doing it by herself now just like you and me. We've all had someone help us out in one way or another so unless you raised yourself from birth, you have someone to thank for your "great big grown up" job too.

I can honestly say it's refreshing to have SOMEONE in my generation that seems to have their head screwed on straight. OK, so her parents paid for her education and she's making a living in New York. The universal message of adult children needing to attain financial independence has nothing to do with this. Hers is merely an example. My mom raised 4 girls by herself, with only one of her ex-husbands paying anything in the way of support. I coiuldn't afford to have car insurance, so I didn't start driving until I was out on my own. I worked my butt off to pay off my college education because my mom certainly couldn't help me. This isn't about being rich or poor. It's about being responsible. Maybe some of you need to seee past that.

I grew up very poor, my mom raised 6 kids on her own after my stepdad left (and never paid a dime of support). She works in a deli making $8.50 an hour. Yes, we got $200 a month in foodstamps.. But on six kids thats nothing. My mom kept a roof over our heads, we had hand-me-downs from friends but we got what we needed from her. I'll never forget that, and I'm glad for it. At 19, I have a good full-time job, my own apartment and a "new" 3-year old car. And it took me two years to save up, but I'm finally able to start college. All on my own, while my 26-year-old best friend, whom I love, has neither her own place, a car, or even a license. My mom would help me if she was able, but I'm glad for the way I was raised. I can budget, avoid debt like the plague, and I know eventually I'll be able to go back and take care of my mom, and repay her for everything she did.

Who's to say that all of us are hanging on our parents and refusing to "grow up" ? I am 26 and still live with my mother, not because I want to, because I have to. Even after going to a good college for four years, I find myself with a salary in my "field" that could be achieved working at Starbucks full time. What do you do then? I am paying off student loans, paying for a car, insurance, credit card debt I accrued, regrettably, in college... but again, what do you do. I can't even count how many people I know in the same position... most of who make more money than I do and may have even less debt. We live in a time where people are taking two and three jobs just to get by. It's just the way it is, and not EVERYONE is leeching off of their parents just so they can keep up with their designer clothing habit. If I could move out at a point above poverty level, maybe I'd move out. But I'm not going to make myself suffer if my mother is still willing to give me a roof over my head while I figure out how to make the most of this 4-year degree.

Parents who subsidize their kids rent want them to be dependent on them and in doing so, foster irresponsibility. Perhaps the parents haven't developed a "grown up" life of their own and can only be parents - not letting go. I applaud Ms. Serafino for taking the next step to being a "grown up".

Disgusting. What you really need to do is get out in the world and make friends with people who aren't exactly the same as you (.i.e. rich kids) and you'll find there are many in Generation Y who don't even expect birthday presents from their parents. Also, get off your high horse about your expensive private school education. Just because something costs a lot of money does not mean it's the best. After all, look how sheltered you've turned out...

I don't see a problem with extended living arrangements with family, as long as one pulls one's weight--i.e. helping around the house, contributing a percentage of one's paycheck toward bills (including the mortgage/rent) and not riding on the parents' financial coat tails. For many countries, this is standard. I think there is also the added benefit of closer relations between children and their grandparents if one is still living at home and married.

You know what is just as difficult? Trying SO hard to get to the point of financial independence, but finding the need to get a third job to even consider doing so. I am paying back college loans, and some credit card debt I accrued in college, which I admit was a huge mistake...but... what do I do now? It's there. If you are able to get the kind of job that affords you NYC living and financial freedom... that is wonderful, and I envy that kind of independence. In fact, I've wanted to live in NYC for years but can't stomach the idea of spending all of my earnings on a rent check. But when you're living in a city where you have to compete so hard for jobs that aren't even that great, and settle for a salary in your "field" that you could make working full time at Starbucks-- that's when you sit back and wonder-- what am I doing wrong here? Times are tough and I wish I didn't have to depend on my parents for a roof over my head. It's depressing and defeating...but I can't even count how many people I know that are in the same position, even some that have a higher salary than I do.

This is an F-ing news worthy story. It sounds like a sophmoric piece of writing you would find in one of the author's private school papers. Grow up. Part of being an adult is worrying about your own problems, not making yourself look like a martyr because you control your own finances. When I become president I am selling New York back for the $20 dollars in beads it was originally sold for.

Brava, Melody! The message you've delivered is one that many Americans (perhaps, people all over the world) need to hear and take to heart, regardless of their generation.

Each one of us is meant to take responsibility for our own lives and the choices we make. There may be a few situations (such as irreparable disability, perhaps) in which accepting support on an ongoing basis is justified. And it certainly isn't wrong to extend or to grab a helping hand in an emergency situation. But to have the basics of life (such as one's rent or one's clothing) paid for by someone other than oneself is, in plain language, living a parasitic existence. Those people need to get lives of their own, not lives bolstered up by others outside themselves.

I applaud this young lady for her efforts towards financial independence. But I wonder if she realizes how difficult life would be with a $400 - $500 a month (or more) student loan payment for the next umpteen years? She brags about her independence and how her other friends can't seem to sacrifice like her... I just wonder if she realizes how lucky she is she is to have her education paid for. Not everyone is so lucky.

I hate to break it to you all but some people have more money than others. When my friends and I went to college we all had varied degrees of financial help. Some parents paid for college, others pitched in and some like mine paid nothing but let me live at home rent free. My one friend whose education was paid for by her parents told me she felt guilty talking to me about not have any spending money. She maintained an A average at a private school so by no means was she wasting her parents investment. I always told her everyone comes from different backgrounds. What I think is important is you don't waste what you are given.

I suggest everyone listen to the last lecture as a reminder to not wasting what is given to them - money, time, attention, everything. Randy died today.
http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/