Subsidized in the City

I'd like to thank the author for an insightful article. I feel as if she wrote part of my autobiography for me. I too went to private school for 10 years, graduated from college, and the moment I stepped out into the "real world", I asked my parents to stop giving me an allowance. My parents were very insistent at first about giving me a little spending money, but I put my foot down and asked for no more. Mainly I did it for freedom (yes, they were a bit overbearing) and I wanted to buy or finance things on my own without having someone breathing down my neck. It was also satisfying to know that my parents could put more of their money towards their retirement. I believe financial planning / budgeting courses should be required in high school. Luckily, I majored in Accounting, so I had no problem controlling my money. Good luck to all you students and parents out there!

The comment about not letting go because that would mean you are getting older is really stupid. That has nothing to do with it at all. People just spoil their kids and then they don't know how to stop. That's what the problem is.

Aliciac113,

how do you know that she has her parents to fall back on? I never did! I joined the Navy right out of high school and never looked back. I only stayed in one term, but I've fought and scraped, and I'm barely getting by today...but I'm paying ALL the bills for two people--my girlfriend AND I.

Try making it on your own in New York when you're simultaneously paying credit card bills and student loans from putting your adult self through college. What's a savings account? Some can't take the risk of moving to Manhattan and then not being able to call on parent's in a bind. Reading this article, I can see that you've received a good dose of reality, but I can't help to think it was probably a designer dose and not some store brand.

Interesting. I'm in the batch of you who has literally been on their own financially - no private school, no "fallback on the parents" if I needed to - and I still managed to travel the world, put myself through college, and start my own company. This author should be content that she doesn't rely on her parents for assistance now - but she should remember that she has help if she does need it, and no college bills to pay back, either. Is it bad for parents to assist their children through college? Of course not. But equally as important is really instilling their children with a sense of work ethic, from an early age, and not giving up on that, even when their kids might demonstrate a need. We're raising a society of weak people, who don't want to work hard and don't seem to really know what "work" is. I don't have children, but when I do, they will absolutely have jobs when they are able to work. We hope to be able to help them in college, but they will also understand that we aren't going to be their safety net after that. Raising strong, independent children should be the priority of this nation.

My parents always told me that I would not be considered an "adult" in their eyes (and I agreed) until I was financially independent from them. Meaning that until I was out of school and on my own paying my bills how ever way I wanted to do so. When you decide to become a parent then you decide to take care of your child. That means clothes, shelter, food, and education (or at least planning for your child's future). I include education because as a parent it is your job to help your child succeed and education in our society is a huge part of that. I read a comment which stated that if the author was to consider herself a real adult then she should pay her parents back for her expensive education. The author is not expected to pay her parents back for her schooling unless that is the agreement between her and her parents that had been previsously made. Her parents decided to send her to those school, they planned for that, other parents with less resources plan differently. And that is why some students pay for their education and some do not (my parents and I invested together into an education fund) Her parents helped her get the skills needed to support herself. The bottom line is you move into adulthood when you can completely support your self financially. The emotional support parents give by letting their child know they will always be there to help if needed, if there is an accident or an unexpected expense that needed more resources than one has, has no impact on being considered an adult. Those of you who think you are adults and have credit card debt simply used a credit company to "bail" you out rather than your parents.

Aww...mommy and daddy (and other misc rich-but relatives) paid for everything for you for the majority of your life...and now, with all that invested in you, they set your sailboat in the shallow end of a deep pool, and watched waiting so save you from drowning as you managed to stay afloat for a couple of years...and now your feeling big huh?...big enough to judge everyone else in the same shallow end...well, you'll never know what its like to be thrown into the ocean without a boat and no one watching to make sure you don't drown and told to 'stay alive'...i think someone in that position would have a much more fun time judging you than you judging your rich friiends who aren't quite as 'free' as you ;)

This article should be a prime time thing, I will be the first to say, I'm not envious of those kids, sure they have nice things, but whatever being independent and FREE is something that is worth more than I can say. Try paying for your own college and everything else you OWN, funny how some people just can't let go...

You don't have enough time for me to tell you what a mistake supporting an adult child, and I do mean child, is. You think 20 something is bad, try 30 to 40 something and still feeling entitled to mom and dad's total support. On top of that, a five-year-old child is included with the package. Talk about enabling! This is my step daughter I'm talking about. She has a master's degree which took forever to obtain, and she's never worked steadily enough to count. Not only does she expect to be taken care of, she has to have the best of everything and rent for a house, not a less expensive apartment to live in. What a waste and she doesn't even seem to care whether her parents will have money left to retire on or live on for the rest of their lives because they're spending it all on her! Mostly it's her mother, but sometimes she hits her dad up, too. It's very frustrating and difficult to even treat her civilly because of her irresponsible behavior! So parents, don't raise your kids to be irresponsible like this. It's not doing them any favors, but it teaches them to be incapable of taking care of themselves.

As a 25 year old living on Long Island on my own dime, I definitely understand were the author is coming from. My parents left our Connecticut home, moving to North Carolina, and took with them any safety net of coming home. I agree with Daisy, that the generosity should be seen as a loan, if one is to be truly independent. I currently pay all my student loans myself, and drive a clunker car, just to get by. There is a definite sense of pride associated with making it on my own, even if at the end of the day, I'd rather be out buying trendy clothes and driving a better car, I know that all I have I got on my own!

Thank you for going there, "The Dad". I have restrained myself from posting a similar assumption, but it would indeed totally make sense. The elite definitely seem to take care of each other, it's almost incestuous...they exclusively live, associate, and eventually breed with 'their own kind'.

If her parents have insured her that she can always come to them in need and they will bail her out....how is that promoting independence?! Congrats, Ms. Serafino...you've managed to live in NYC with a financial safety net for 3 years (your aww grown ups)! Wow...what's next?! Is your following piece going to be all about how you bought a metrocard and braved the scary subway while your friends refused to denounce their chauffeurs? or how you used a public restroom, all by yourself! We're all waiting with baited breath!

There is nothing wrong with parents helping to have their kid's have a good start, such as in the case of the author's where they funded 10 years of private education. However, if she wishes to be seen as financially independent, she should view her parents' generosity as a loan and try to pay them back. Until that happens, the author is almost no different from her spoiled peers.

Well, I have something to say about this topic. This is bizarre to me. I am 20 years old and I have never been handed a damn thing in my life, except food and clothing as a kid. Don't get me wrong, my father loved me, but at <$30k a year it's not easy to support three daughters. He told us from a very young age, probably even infancy, ha, that we were going to learn what it means to be a 'financially independent adult', which if course means, if you want it, you have to work for it because I'm not going to give it to you. I wanted a driver's license when I turned 16, so I had to pay for the classes. I wanted a car, so I had to pay for the car. I want to earn a degree, so I'm now paying for college. My financial independence began when I turned 14 and got a job, Had there been no child labor laws, I probably would've been working sooner. I find a source of pride in the fact that I learned at a young age how to manage my finances, and I get even more pride knowing that everything I own, have achieved, and am working toward, is 100% mine.
It's unfortunate that people like me get lumped into the so-called 'millenial' group of kids that may never know what it's like to live in the real world.