A Fine Line

Hooray for curch-40 who obviously has self-respect and a work ethic! Good luck to you and since you are obviously educated, please consider carefully the concept of "planned parenthood", with emphasis on the "planned". However, as a child and family therapist contracted to Child Protective Services, the unfortunate statistics indicate that there is very little to celebrate about young people having children, and I'm confused and terrified at the current climate of childbearing-as cool in this country today. Unfortunately, for most young people, or rather, most PEOPLE regardless of age, pregnancy is merely a side-effect of having unprotected sex. I won't list the ramifications of having children when one is not prepared--you can find this info on the net. And trust me, emotionless statistics cannot begin to describe the issues for these children-it's much worse in real life. The major point I want to make is WHY IS THERE ALWAYS SO MUCH FOCUS ON TEEN MOTHERS????? The last time I checked, it takes two to reproduce (o.k., except for fertility procedures). Why do we not also discuss the young (or older) men who contributing sperm to the equation? In my practice, more often than not, young girls are having sex early because of some or combinations of any of the following reasons: 1. to keep the boyfriend happy and attached to her (oh, and by the way, having his baby is also supposed to make him stay-right......); 2. peer pressure, being cool, getting lots of attention from boys, etc; 3. the young mom was sexually abused as a child; the young mom's family of origin was very chaotic, with usually some combination of addiction/violence/neglect/mental illness/etc, etc. It's starting to sound like these girls are victims, right? Well, the young men didn't have it any easier, but in our society we parents expend an incredible amount of effort trying to keep our daughters from getting pregnant, but our young men are not taught self-control, personal responsibility, etc. It's usually, "boys will be boys", and a secret sigh of relief frol Dad because his kid's not gay. In fact, some families actively encourage their sons to get out there and conquer! I have seen several cases where an older brother/cousin/uncle will show an 11, 12, 13 year old boy XXX rated porn as a way to man-him-up. Well, the technical term for that is sexual abuse. Anyway, thanks for listening, and please, let's also hold these young men accountable as integral partners in the lifelong endeavor called parenthood!

I honestly don't think it is acceptable at all to say Jamie Lynn Spears is a shining example of a teenage mom, cuas she has enough money so she doesn't have to work, like she gets it pretty easy, but what about all the other teen moms? there's about 30 expecting and already teenager moms at my school. None of them have had a "fun time in teenage parenthood" like Jamie Lynn Spears. I think it's wrong to condem teenage moms and most of them are doing a great job, but to exalt Spears for getting pregnant as a teenager too and saying that she is a new role model or demographic is nothing but ridiculous

I am 18 years old. I have an 11 month old daughter. I'm also engaged and getting married in April. I'm in a great relationsip with a guy who is not my daughter's father (as he was abusive, I got myself and my daughter out of that relationsip when it hit a turn for the worst). My fiance is however the father of the baby I'm pregnant with now. We planned to get married BEFORE I found out I was pregnant. We both are working and we are making it just fine. I also graduated with honors and am currently is summer session at university where I'm taking a dual major of psychology and law. My 20 year old fiance is a firefighter. I never have, and never plan to be, on financial assistance. So, don't worry, you're not paying for my child. I'm perfectly capable of doing that on my own, thank-you-very-much. If you were to ask me if it's all easy, I'd say no. But then again, at what age does getting up in the middle of the night with a sick baby become easy? 20? 30? How about.. never.. but it is worth it! I would NOT recommend this, but I wouldn't condemn it either. I knew I could make it work, and I've proved that, but some people just can't make it work. At any age. Not just as teenagers. I know just as many adults living on welfare, or being poor parents, as I do teens. Come to think of it, in my town, there are five sets of teen parents that I can think of, all but my ex and myself are still together (3 are married), and hopefully no adult would stay in that relationsip either. And only one is on welfare, and that's because she's currently in school to become a police officer. I can, on the other hand, think of many adult couples (or single parents) that are being supportted by tax payers and are terrible parents to their children. I take offence to the fact that they fail to show the teen parents that are actually doing something with their lives and making a great life for their children.

I am not against teen moms. I am against glamorizing teen moms the way the OK magazine does Jamie Lynn. Jamie Lynn's experience is not the norm for teen moms, but teens may not be able to see past the flash. The media does the same to adults too. Looking at Angelina Jolie you wold think that it's possible to have 4 children under age 6, be pregnant with twins, and work on multiple movie projects while doing charity work and attending publicity events. How does she do it? Lots of money and hired help. So not the typical experience for moms of any age in this country. The thing is, as adults we realize this. Teens haven't the life expereince and maturity yet to recognize that Jamie Lynn, like Angelina, lives in a world with resources most of us can only fantasize about.

When I was just a fourteen year old child I was surprised to find myself pregnant. I knew how it happened, but I think I was so naive that I didn't think that it would happen. I don't recall my folks ever speaking to me about the subject. When they finally figured out what was going on with me, they drove me to a clinic and forced a decision down my throat. I don't really know what decision I would have made if it had been left up to me, I think I probably would have just gone on in childlike ignorance not believing that any of it was really happening. After the tears cleared and I realized what had happened, and took responsibility for what I had done, I became so angry that I became near obsessive about having another baby. At 18, I did. I moved out of my parents home at midnight on my 18th birthday and called them a few months later to tell them that they would soon be grandparents. They indicated that the 4 years of remorse that they had watched me endure had led them to believe that only having a child was going to help me begin to heal. I thank God for their support and believe that my daughter healed wounds in my family that might never have otherwise healed. With my folks support and personal drive resulting from wanting the very best for my daughter, I finished college, landed a good job, eventually married a great man who adopted my daughter, finished graduate school, and now have two more children. The first five years when I was going to college and being a mom were really challenging. Other students were going to parties and I was washing diapers and working a night shift to make enough money to pay my rent and buy food. My oldest daughter, now 20 and in college, and my middle daughter, now 14, know that they can come to me with anything and I will not judge them, but will help them no matter how difficult the situation. They tell me that I have given them a tremendous role model to strive towards in their own lives. We have spoken openly and honestly about birth control, sex, and the hardships of raising babies alone and in poverty for so many years now that I cannot remember when we started. I think teen mothers and mothers-to-be or perhaps not-to-be need more non-judgemental support to help them make a decision about whether they have what it takes to raise a child. And for those young women who do choose to keep their baby, government programs should focus less on hand outs that lead to dependence and more on high school completion programs and college credit programs such as childcare money for woman who take college courses to enable them to get good paying jobs. Judgemental and negative comments certainly won't help a young pregnant woman make healthy decisions. I thought Juno was a thoughtful representation of how a family dealt with a crisis, and how a young girl made a very brave, realistic, and generous decision for the well-being of her baby.

responseibilty and take care of him and i thank my mom for that. It just hurts that people think we cant be good parents because we are young and they wont have both parents in their lives well my son is now 3 and his dad and i have been together for 5.5 years and i love him to death and we are expecting are second little boy in september i have been on my own since i was 18 with my boyfriend right by my side.

It is my opinion that we need to try to better educate teen mothers. Trying to prevent teen pregnancy is great but imposible. The fact is teens are going to get pregnant. The best thing to do is educate the teens when the do become pregnant and teach them how to be the best mom they can be and help them continue school and find jobs. I was lucky. My daughter was born when I was 16 years old. Luckily I had a supportive family and a school that centered on educating teen mothers. I was able to get my diploma get a great job and I am now attending college as well. My daughter has not suffered in anyway from the time needed to go school and work. Online classes are a great thing. I can be home with my kids and go to school. My daughter and I spend tons of quality time together. If there was something I could do to help educate teen moms and help them through this time in their lives I would be more then happy to do it. I have gained a lot from my experiences and I think all teen moms should have the same opportunities available to them.

How the heck can we compare Jaime Lynne Spears to the normal teen?..We can't. She could raise that baby with or without her family. She can afford the finer things in life for that baby. We could only wish!..As a Latina and a mother we need to teach our teen daughters that we need to stay focused on respecting ourselves and our bodies. To all the teen mothers out there...(Keep your head up and be strong!)

I had my son at age 16 at 16 and a half got my first job at a fast food place not much but it paid for my gas and stuff we needed. we lived with my mom at the time and she DID NOT raise my son yeah she helped out and showed me a lot of stuff but i am the mom and i had to learn she wasnt the one who got up and feed him at night i was, am i mad or angry with her NO he is my son and i had to grow up and take the responseibi


responseibility

I believe that trying to prevent teenage pregnancy is impossible. It is my opinion that the best thing to do is educate them on how to handle being a teen mom if and when it happens. If educated about the topic teen moms have more options. I had my daughter when I was 16 years old. Luckily I had family support and a school that taught me how to be a good mom. I graduated high school have a great job and am in college as well. My daughter has not been left out in anyway. I spend tons of quality time with her and I am able to take care of her by furthering my career and education. I believe that we as a society need to worry a little more about educating teen moms because no matter how much effort is put into preventing teen pregnancy it just isnt possible.