A Fine Line

Would you talk to your teen about the effects of drunk-driving without talking to them about why you shouldn't drive drunk in the first place?? That doesn't make sense. All I've seen in these comments is the after-effects of a teen pregnancy and how teens "feel" about talking to their parents AFTER they are pregnant!!!!!!!! What is so wrong about talking to your teenager BEFORE they have sex?!?!? I am a high school biology teacher and I have had up to 50% of students in my class either pregnant or parenting. When I teach about the human body and the biological aspects of reproduction my students are always surprised. It's amazing how they have had one (or two, three, or four) kids yet they STILL don't know the basics of how the human body works. Here's a free lesson to all the (unpregnant) teens: SPERM + EGG = BABY!!!!! It's DOES NOT matter who you think you are or if you think that only happens to "other" people. IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!! And to the teen parents, I hate to sound insensitive, but you made your bed now lie in it. I am the grandaughter of a girl who got pregnant back in the 50's. My grandmother is often mistaken for my mom because she and my mom are so close in age. But she managed to mak a good life for herself and my mom. The point is stop crying about how hard it is and DO something about it!! You weren't too concerned about how hard it is when you were busy getting pregnant, so don't expect society to be sensitive to you now. You are the same as an achoholic or a person with an addiction: You made your choices now deal with them.

And, in this featured video of the young lady with the 18-month old, she cries, wants "better" for her baby, and then says at the end "he doesn't know what to do with himself" when he cries for HER after she tells him to GO LET GRANDMA FEED HIM!!!! It's NOT grandma's baby! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE??? Look out for the next one....

Parents need to talk to their pre teen about sex. And also talk about the responsibility about being a parent. And Hollywood needs to really clean up
it's act, they play a majior role in pre-teen lives.. And child should be a child, not a child haveing a baby.

imagine being a grandmother at 29 years old? we must demand more from our children and break this cycle. we are destroying the fabric of our society. we must be better examples for our kids. They are not the only ones who are seeking instant gratification. we do the same thing. who should they emulate?

ultimately, it is our responsibility as parents to teach our kids both boys and girls to keep their bodies closed until they get married. We are giving our girls shots for HPV starting at 9 years old, but are we making it clear to them that sexual activity is a privilege and responsibility and comes with accountability that is beyond the scope of a teen's comprehension. Our children are not animals who cannot control their passions. they have to be thought to reason and resist their baser instinct by focusing on their goals and making good choices for their lives. We have to stop blaming the media for our deficiencies as parents. Our kids listen to us and go as far as we let them go. We are the most influential persons in their lives. We need to take responsibility for our inability to communicate our higher expectations to our children, and for refusing to set the bar high for them to reach for. We keep saying that it's not possible to stop them from having sex, when we don't tell them what we want from them. talk to your kids and let them know very early what your expectations are for their lives. write the plan down on the walls of their bedrooms, remind them constantly of your goals, ideals and aspirations for them. these are the same for both gender: graduate from preschool, complete elementary school, graduate from middle school, graduate from high school, graduate from college and/or university, get a good job, get married, have kids. If we instill these ideas in them while they are very young and impressionable (before 7 years old), they will grow up with a road map and focus on their goals rather than following the promiscuous crowd. stand up and be a parent. you are responsible for your children. you pay the bills, you demand the behavior.

ultimately, it is our responsibility as parents to teach our kids both boys and girls to keep their bodies closed until they get married. We are giving our girls shots for HPV starting at 9 years old, but are we making it clear to them that sexual activity is a privilege and responsibility and comes with accountability that is beyond the scope of a teen's comprehension. Our children are not animals who cannot control their passions. they have to be thought to reason and resist their baser instinct by focusing on their goals and making good choices for their lives. We have to stop blaming the media for our deficiencies as parents. Our kids listen to us and go as far as we let them go. We are the most influential persons in their lives. We need to take responsibility for our inability to communicate our higher expectations to our children, and for refusing to set the bar high for them to reach for. We keep saying that it's not possible to stop them from having sex, when we don't tell them what we want from them. talk to your kids and let them know very early what your expectations are for their lives. write the plan down on the walls of their bedrooms, remind them constantly of your goals, ideals and aspirations for them. these are the same for both gender: graduate from preschool, complete elementary school, graduate from middle school, graduate from high school, graduate from college and/or university, get a good job, get married, have kids. If we instill these ideas in them while they are very young and impressionable (before 7 years old), they will grow up with a road map and focus on their goals rather than following the promiscuous crowd. stand up and be a parent. you are responsible for your children. you pay the bills, you demand the behavior.

The fact that we are having this debate is troubling. Teen pregnancy is not a good thing unless it is on purpose and under the covering of marriage. Anyone with kids (parents qualify here) that raising kids is a great joy but an awesome sacrifice as well and should not be done lightly especially outside of marriage. We should not penalize the children for the mistakes of teenage boys and girls who cannot see that far ahead, and we should recognize that adult parents have a better perspective on this than a teen will. After all, I also know grandparents who are raising their kid's kid's andd that is only done by teh grace of God.

The media have constantly over the year got on the band wagon of causing as much trouble for these people as possible hoping that they will make a mess of it the problem is that in the end young girls now don't seem to understand the implications involved in bringing up a child these RICH KID are the worse examples that have ever tarnished our TV and Mags they are not News at all they are sad lossers who quite frankly need help not bad publicity

I am so sick of adults blaming juno and jamie lynn spears. Are you just glad that you have some one to blame other then your own teen and your self!! Girls where getting pregnant before this whos fault was it then?! Stop blamming these only two things! Instead talk to your teen about SAFE SEX! You cant just tell them not to do it, you need to tell them to do it safely! because teens will have sex no matter what. NOT because theres a comedy about pregnancy or because another teen that just so happens to be an actress got preganant.

(This is a continuance from my last entry below). I told this young and silly girl that I am not the "jinx" here, in fact I'm a 40 year old positive person. POSITIVE I would be one of many paying for your baby now. POSITIVE I would be one of many paying for your future babies, and POSITIVE that she did not use birth control or think about trying to abstain from such an adult act till she is over 18 or married. What a ruse I believe this is by this girl mentioned here, the Jamie Lynn kid, OK magazine, and all other irresponsible publications that glorify this kind of nonsense and one-sided reporting. Unbelievable!!

The whole unfortunate thing about the Jamie Lynn article/interview was the very casual and easygoing dialogue used throughout the story. The new mom seems to gush about how simple such a complicated matter seemed to be given that she reports that the labor/birth was limited to about two pushes as opposed to much more of a difficult process per reports from other females giving birth in her family. Her other statements were that she can now fit in her pre-pregnancy outfits and that both the baby's care and sleep patterns were easy to deal with. Even though I understand that a calm and even-tempered baby is much less of an issue to deal with (mellow baby versus cranky baby), I can see where this allows an impressionable teen to focus only on the easier aspects of motherhood and not the more frustrating and difficult parts. The contents therefore seems to desensitize young girls(and boys) from seeing the harsh realities of being a parent. This just really gets to me. Most taxpayers must absolutely feel the same way since they are usually the ones who will shoulder the burden for those who can't pay for or even refuse to bear the very high cost of rearing a child. Some of these kids, especially due to how the younger brain is underdeveloped per nature/biology, go on to have several more kids that then get perhaps aided by the welfare/social services system and that is unfair to taxpayers and all. Just because the jamie-Lynn girl has money does not make it right either. She really sets a poor example for kids who look up to her and also seems to have parents who could really care less about all that this amounts to and the statutory rape issue here. This leads me to speak of another pregnant girl that I just met recently. She told me that she got pregnant on purpose, was a month and a half behind Jamie Lynn insofar as their due dates were concerned, and she, at 16,was actually one of the OLDER ones in her family to get pregnant. she also thought Jamie Lynn having a baby was the most wonderful thing and her studio contract should have made provisions for this to be so that other teenage actresses could also benefit from this great publicity! Talk about junk coming out of the mouths of babes! The girl also stated that the father was 19 while she was 16 and she was positive the government would step in and take care of both the baby AND the non-working parents. She was so desperate to have a child and stated that it won't hurt to give birth since she has a high tolerance for pain due to falling off her bike on frequent occasions. She stated that I should only speak of the positive things in having babies and never "jinx" anyone with negative things. With the way she was talking about her deliberate attempts to get pregnant, you would think she was in that mode as soon as she saw the first drop of blood come via her cycle!

Hi Kas_Wolf, I wanted to respond to your comments to clarify.

"1, Did you disregard warnings that risky behavior (i.e. - NOT using birth control) could result in pregnancy?"

Yes

"2. Did you knowingly get pregnant because you were "in love" and wanted to keep the Daddy around?"

No

"3. Did you look to have someone else shoulder your responsibility? I.E. - free babysitting, meals, a room...etc?"

No

"4. I am sure you love your child; but - as a teen, sometimes priorities are mixed - so, Did you make poor decisions regarding your child? Spend money on you - and then need help getting diapers, food, rent etc?"

Interesting question. I would have to tell you that I made the best decisions possible at that time. As time has gone by and I have gained experience and maturity, I may have changed some things, but very few. There were many times I went without so my son could have things...we did not have much but we made the best of it.

Honestly, I have no regrets and I was given many learning opportunities that have turned into memories. I hope the same is true for you if you have children (currently or in the future). Wishing you the best.

I am a 21 yr old college student and my mother got pregnant with my brother when she was 17. From a very young age my parents have taught to respect myself and have given me the guidance to doing the right thing. I am not perfect and I have made my share of mistakes but having my parents teach me about responsibility and consequenes have made me avoid being in situations like teen pregnancy. I believe this issue starts with parents teaching their children about the tough issues like sex, pregnancy, STDs etc. I also feel that these serious issues must begin at a young age, parents should not wait till their kid is 16-18, by then it's too late. I also think schools should get involve to educate kids about sex. Parents should be more open minded to sex education, these progams do not promote sex! I have had many speakers discuss the dangers of what sex can bring. Schools should be educating teens about safe sex, ways in which to deal with the pressures of their own peers and what to do when you need help. Sex should not be a hush hush subject. Hollywood and the entertainment industry is not where teens should be getting their information!!!

II had my son at aged 18. I though that all I needed to do was to love him well,and dedicate my life to him . I did not date for 18 years, went to school, held good jobs, disciplined him and gave him all I could to "make things right". He is 34,now and it has been the most unwise decision I ever made to having a chils without the full benefit of a two-parent family. I put my needs for a family, ahead of what would have been a better choice--waiting and doing things in an honorable, selfless way. The emotional toll and the self-esteem issues that are there at every young woman's age did not disappear no matter how hard I worked, loved or struggled to be a good mother. Understand that they are a part of life that will have to be worked through. These young women who are having babies now will one day wake up screaming because the false promise of "everybodies doing it " will come back and bite them not only in their ass, but their hearts as well.

I think that regardless of what you believe when it comes to "premarital sex", when you are 15 years old, you are not emotionally or mentally mature enough to deal with the consequences of your decisions.
Talking to children is just the beginning of teaching them to make the right decisions and to be realistic about the consequences thereof.
On one hand, you don't want to shun a teenage mother because they need help and support. However, you don't want to encourage any potential teenage mother (ie: every teenage girl there is) but glamourizing the whole thing.
Instead of allowing the media to raise our children, why don't we take a little responsibility ourselves and actually talk to our children about the reality of life and sex and babies.
If the parents don't do it, Jamie Lynn Spears will. And if that happens...God help us all.

"...was the blatant disregard for my difficulties. I looked up to adults and was expecting guidance and assistance. To my disappointment, I received a cold shoulder and a look of shame which deeply penetrated my (young and scared) heart...."

Well, the pity you may get in response to the "cold-shoulder" you recieved would depend on a few things.
1, Did you disregard warnings that risky behavior (i.e. - NOT using birth control) could result in pregnancy
2. Did you knowingly get pregnant because you were "in love" and wanted to keep the Daddy aroound?
3. Did you look to have someone else shoulder your responsibility? I.E. - free babysitting, meals, a room...etc?
4. I am sure you love your child; but - as a teen, sometimes priorities are mixed - so, Did you make poor decisions regarding your child? Spend money on you - and then need help getting diapers, food, rent etc?

Ultimately, it is not where you start (as a mom, businessperson, etc) but where you finish - so if you are a great Mom, that is all that counts. But, don't be bitter because others didn't want to pull your weight - perhaps they were done raising children and felt it was your responsibility.

There is not a thinking being on this planet that does not understand the fundamentals of sex! the fact that it often results in pregnancy! period! thats just how it works. millions spent on sex education, years and years of honest effort to stem the tide of teen pregnancy and year after year it continues to get worse! This indicates one of two things. extreme stupidity on the part of the females, and astonishing indifference on the part of the male.... one being no better than the other. please, someone tell me im wrong.

The issue of teen pregnancy should be kept seperate from the issue of pre-marital sex. After all, pre-marital sex is only a problem if you're of a religious nature. For the rest of us sex is just sex, something to be enjoyed whether married or not.

Teen Pregnancy is difficult. I had my son when I was 17 years old. What was more difficult than raising him while I was still in the process of growing up myself, was the blatant disregard for my difficulties. I looked up to adults and was expecting guidance and assistance. To my disappointment, I received a cold shoulder and a look of shame which deeply penetrated my (young and scared) heart. Well, that was 16 years ago, and a lot has changed since then but I feel an obligation to reach out to young moms of today and give them encouragement and support. I wrote a book especially for pregnant teens, honestly, they are desperate for it. I hope that sharing this information with those of you, who read this blog, will help replace criticism with compassion. That is the only way to help them heal their breaking hearts.